To not want the dc in economy while we are in business?

[Flymeinbusiness]

Would be great to get others opinions...
We had some flyer miles and managed to book a much looked forward to, long haul, trip in business class for us and our 2 DC - 10 &11 in the summer holidays. Fast forward a few months and the PIL have decided to join us for the beginning part of the trip and booked economy tickets to join us. (They don't have any miles and the price a few months later for business for them both was unaffordable.)I feel terrible that my in-laws who are in their 70s will be in the back of the plane while my DH, DC and I will have big seats to ourselves. My DH thinks that both DC should take the economy seats and that they will be okay alone for 8 hours given we aren't too far away if they need us but I think one of us parents should be with 1 DC in economy instead as I don't want them alone on the flight. He thinks IBU to not let them and that I should enjoy my seat and not sit in economy. (I don't mind either although business will be a nice start to the holidays) Am I being overprotective? (Kids are good flyers generally and have done quite a few long hauls in the past)

Best solution - everyone stays in the seats they purchased.

Why don’t you sit in economy and let the pil sit in business with the kids?

For many many people it’s a cultural norm to prioritise older people.

I’m finding this resistance to ageism very refreshing, usually MN is full of people aghast at someone over 35 having a baby as they’re ‘on their knees’ at 28.

Whyis it"unfair to them"?!

Don't give up your business seat! If your DH is so bothered about his dad's 'tricky back' then he should swap with him for the entire journey. That means him sitting in economy with his mum whilst you, children and Fil sit in business class. His in laws knew this was a long flight so they could've bought business class seats too. Plenty of 70 odd year olds sit in economy and are fine.

They never travel more than 2 hours away but you've bought seats in business class for a long haul trip and they've now decided for the first time ever to join you? Hmmm. Something tells me they were banking on switching their economy seats with your business class seats.

I wouldn't be too happy if I was sat next to a 10 and 12 year old in economy whilst their parents were in business.

I'd feel like I had to look out for them and that's not my role!

I haven’t, as yet, read through the whole thread but a few things occur to me:

@Flymeinbusiness , you say that the PIL are joining you for the first leg - does this mean they disembark after 8 hours whilst you all fly onwards?

Also, forget all this stuff about predatory people seeing the kids alone, it strikes me that the reason why you wouldn’t be allowed to swap and/or constantly change seats would be for a far more sensible reason: should something happen, and the air stewards need to do a passenger count/check, they wouldn’t know who was who. They’re expecting 2 elderly people in those seats and instead get two unaccompanied minors and/or a child and a much younger person.

There’s also a good reason why a few airlines have changed their unaccompanied minors policy and it’s quite simply that their staff aren’t trained in childcare and the staff have to attend to the needs of all the passengers and can’t be tied up looking after 2 young children.

I don’t personally think that it matters how often the children have flown or how experienced they are at travelling, I used to fly 8 times a year as an under 12 and I did this on my own, navigating plane changes etc., and back in those days there wasn’t an unaccompanied minors policy, the staff knew that a child was flying unaccompanied and you sat near the staff seats, but I wouldn’t allow my children to fly unaccompanied until they were 16.

I agree. In my culture it's elderly and children first then everyone else

Surely a kids business class ticket is cheaper than an adults so I don't think a swap is going to be so simple!

You and your husband should sit in economy

Oh no no keep your kids with you. 70 if they are fit enough to travel is no age, my mil just went in 7 hour flight yesterday in the economy and she is 85

But they aren’t in public per se are they? Or at school or whatever other silly comparison you wish to make.

They will be in an environment that is completely new to them and they won’t be able to get to their parents and possibly their parents won’t be able to get to them either, depending on the airlines policy regarding walking about from economy to business. Regardless of whether they are seasoned travellers or not, these children may be on an aeroplane that they’ve never been on before.

Plus, is it really fair to expect people who have actually paid, as opposed to getting free flights with air miles to have to put up with kids possibly coming in and out all the time? Or parents doing the same.

Since you don’t have children of that age can you really know what you would do in that situation? And with the best will in the world, children do bicker or tease each other or just generally be silly, more so when it’s more than one child as they egg each other on.

Just because the children have flown before, doesn’t mean they won’t get air sick due to food, or perhaps have mean adults glaring at them or worse, telling them off for going to the toilet too often etc.

@Flymeinbusiness pp have mentioned that the cost of an under-12 bc ticket may well be much cheaper than an adult ticket of the same price. A better bet would be to be with PIL as they check in at the counter and say something to the effect of what a shame they can’t be travelling with you in bc. Perhaps they might get an upgrade or perhaps their own child should consider swapping with one of them!

Adult ticket of the same kind. Not price!

If FIL "has a tricky back" then he should have thought about flights etc before choosing long haul flights. Seems to me that they had every intention of trying this guilt trip out. My parents are slightly older, they factor in business class tickets for every holiday flight they take.

6 of us on a flight….

hubby , DS1 and I sat together, and parents in law with DS2 sat together about 6 rows behind us.
all good!

then we hit severe turbulence, it was horrific. And I was separated my DC2. All around people were petrified, in all honesty, I thought we were all doomed and I wouldn’t be with DC2. Crazy, I know, but if im going to fall 30,000 feet from the sky in a metal capsule, then I want to be holding my kid’s hands!

The children need to be with adults responsible for them. Doesn't matter what people did back in the day, unaccompanied minors etc.
2023 Children need to be with adults.

So children in their BC seats.
Either with parents or grandparents.

And I suggest you speak with the airline to check if you are allowed to swap with the ILs or is that an additional charge to have the names changed on the seats.

PIL are staying with us for 10 days and then staying on an extra week in a hotel (they are retired) hence the different flights back as we need to get back for work.
I do think culturally I have always been taught to "respect your elders" which is why I probably feel so uncomfortable with the situation of us upfront and them in the back. They are great in-laws which I appreciate I'm lucky to have as that's not always the case with PIL.
On the flights - you still pay taxes etc so not completely free but obviously a lot less than a full price business fare and the DC tickets aren't much cheaper than our adult seats.
The DC are definitely not snowflakes and would be very happy sitting watching a film and eating snacks/lunch etc -as would be the case on most uneventful flights - they'd probably love the independence but I agree that I'd probably worry about them the whole time if I was in a different cabin in case there was turbulence/there was a strange person nearby whereas my DH would expect them to enjoy the flight no matter what the cabin. He is much more relaxed than I am!

Respecting your elders isn’t about giving them your plane tickets!

It’s slowing down so you walk at their pace, it’s noticing they can no longer do something so you help out, it’s being there to listen ….

Id be horrified if my children offered me their seats! I’d say no.

Op stop feeling guilty. If you must phone the airline and ask if you can swap seats.

Odds are they'll say the kids need to be accompanied, so either you swap with ILs or you all stay in your own seats.

BA business seats have been flatbed seats for years. They are narrow but do turn into a bed.

@Flymeinbusiness ...and I'd make DH swap half way - perhaps with the other DC so they both get a turn.

I don't think they will let you do this.
When there's no turbulence people are allowed to wander about the plane a bit but when the seatbelt light is on everyone has to be strapped into the seat their ticket books them in to.

You're going to need to pay an admin fee to get the names changed if you go ahead with this plan, but it will be necessary to decide which seat is assigned to who and stick to that for the whole journey.

Your whole thought process makes no sense. If it did then everyone in business class should be gifting their seats to whoever seems most elderly and frail in Economy, and you could do that and gift your other two nice seats to two random strangers so that you and dh and both DC can all sit together. Obviously that sounds crazy but it's no less crazy than your plan.

Your PIL have made choices. They obviously aren't poor - they have decided to stay on in a hotel for an extra week after you go home. That will be costing them a fair whack and the same money could have been spent differently to give them a shorter holiday but more comfortable flights. Respect for elders includes respecting their mental capacity to make these decisions for themselves. I think over-ruling their choices, martyring yourself and forcing one of your DC to make the same unwilling sacrifice, will start the whole holiday off on a sour note and spoil everything.

If you fly as an unaccompanied minor your parents pay extra, you are marked as an unaccompanied minor, and staff will look out for you. Neither staff nor other passengers should have to deal with someone’s kids just because they didn’t want to pay for them to be upgraded

You're bonkers to even consider swapping seats. DC should sit with you in business class - that's what was booked and arranged.

It's a shame your in-laws can't afford to join you but that's just life unfortunately.

Don’t forget that the in-laws have an extra week of holiday to recover fully from their economy class flight.

What exactly did they say when they suggested joining you, and you told them you were flying business? You probably said it was on Miles too, right?

I bet it was a smile and “ooh, how the other half live!” and they then chatted between themselves about how full price BC seats were WAY too expensive for anyone to buy for a holiday and how they’d much rather spend extra money on a nicer hotel room or some lovely meals when there.

Does the flight have premium economy? Maybe your husband could pay to upgrade them to that as a treat?

Also, it’s long haul but only 8 hours, that’s not a very long flight in the grand scheme of things, it’s about the minimum to even qualify as long haul. Completely fine in economy.