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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Men only invite work sports match

58 replies

Iftheydonlygetashifton · 27/06/2023 18:57

I work in a male-dominated industry. A male colleague who is otherwise really decent arranged a sports match and invited only a handful of men. Then posted a photo on the company intranet with them with their arms around the bosses in the middle, saying it’s a great way for people to get to know each other and it’ll be an annual event under the company name, ‘X annual (rugby or whatever) match’. This is the first time I’ve heard of the match and I’ve checked that an invite wasn’t sent out. The sport is one that is played by non-mixed teams (think rugby/football/cricket). AIBU to think it’s a bit tone deaf not to invite everyone, even to watch, then bang on about the networking opportunities?

YABU: it’s a social thing really. Go invite the few senior women to an exclusive spa day then post a photo of that! No harm done.
YANBU: work socials should be for everyone. If it’s men only and exclusive invite it limits opportunities for those not invited. It’s 2023 not 1990, get with the programme.

OP posts:

Catspyjamas17 · 28/06/2023 09:38

Theoldgreygoose · 28/06/2023 07:23

Why do you actually care? Do you want to play/watch this sporting activity? If the answer is no then you are making a fuss about nothing, just for the sake of it. I really don't understand why anyone would care about this.

Then you are bloody gormless. This is how mediocre men are promoted above talented women. Networking opportunities must be inclusive.

GoodChat · 28/06/2023 09:49

This is how mediocre men are promoted above talented women. Networking opportunities must be inclusive.

Then talented women should organise inclusive networking opportunities.

If a man is being promoted for their proactiveness then it's not unfair.

Northernparent68 · 18/08/2023 20:16

sashh · 28/06/2023 05:04

Do you have an HR department?

If not contact the most senior manager and CC in the person who organized it and ask, "Could you tell me why a networking event seems to have excluded a great number of people? What was the criteria for this selection?"

I’m sorry but this is bad advice, HR work for management, they’ out there to support employees.

C1N1C · 18/08/2023 20:32

Is this an actually interested thing, or a peeved you just weren't invited thing?

Original poster

Iftheydonlygetashifton · 20/08/2023 08:13

@C1N1C It’s a I’d like networking opportunities in this organization to be inclusive thing. Ie principle.

OP posts:

RampantIvy · 20/08/2023 08:18

latetothefisting · 27/06/2023 21:22

I would wait and see what happens next year

It sounds like this year it was quite a small, possibly informal event if only a handful went. Then because it went well they decided to make it an x company annual tradition. So I'd wait and see who gets invited next year. If it's just a select few again it's not necessarily sexist but still isn't a great idea if its supposed to be a' bonding/get to know colleagues at an official x company social' rather than ' a group of friends who are also colleagues working together at x company' thing..

If next year it's open to all the men in the company/at a particular level but not the women then yes, it's really dodgy and worth questioning.

I'm inclined to agree with this. It sounds more like a mates get together than a company wide get together.

JohnofOxford · 20/08/2023 08:33

Were those that attended/invited all senior or above a certain level of management. Would that level have included women?

Rainbowsandrainclouds1 · 20/08/2023 09:08

I worked in a job like that. All the guys would play footie together one day a week after work. It was company sponsored. There was never any invite to women even though one of my female colleagues was a county level footballer in her teens.

Promotions were always given to those in the boys club. One of the reasons I left.

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