Men only invite work sports match

[Iftheydonlygetashifton]

I work in a male-dominated industry. A male colleague who is otherwise really decent arranged a sports match and invited only a handful of men. Then posted a photo on the company intranet with them with their arms around the bosses in the middle, saying it’s a great way for people to get to know each other and it’ll be an annual event under the company name, ‘X annual (rugby or whatever) match’. This is the first time I’ve heard of the match and I’ve checked that an invite wasn’t sent out. The sport is one that is played by non-mixed teams (think rugby/football/cricket). AIBU to think it’s a bit tone deaf not to invite everyone, even to watch, then bang on about the networking opportunities?

YABU: it’s a social thing really. Go invite the few senior women to an exclusive spa day then post a photo of that! No harm done.
YANBU: work socials should be for everyone. If it’s men only and exclusive invite it limits opportunities for those not invited. It’s 2023 not 1990, get with the programme.

Are you even allowed to play mixed Rugby? Same with football can you play football? Excuse my ignorance I don't have a clue, I am the only woman in a male work team basically IT but I would definitely not want Nick, Mark and Lucas all tackling me. That said, things like snooker, darts, fine, in fact I did say to DH that I may become a professional snooker player as I believe you can win the same money.

Would you have played if you were invited?

It sounds like a social gathering if it wasn't an invite extenders to everybody.

God I’d be even more cross if someone at work organised a women’s spa day! Great - the men have fun doing a sport and the women can make themselves beautiful 🤮

Nor me

Of course they are, it's a work social, not the olympics

I've worked for plenty of companies that have pulled stunts like this sadly.

I'm late forties now and most of my friends of a similar age have given up on challenging the status quo. None of them are doing particularly fantastic jobs after years of sidelining. I know plenty of fairly average blokes who are into the sports stuff with stratospheric careers. It's depressing.

Yeah this is such a thing. It’s tricky because sports is a safe, healthy, non drinking activity so suits a work social nicely.

Ours, women are technically welcome to join the golf/football/whatever but in terms of who wants to, or has any skill, it’s mostly men, and there’s a lot of ‘boss meets young man and takes a shine, young man does better as a result’ - a lot of ours are with client companies so a lot of relationship building. So it ends up with men doing better because of these better relationships and then it’s all ‘well, the pay gap is there because men are in the exec roles’.

yes, we could all insist on playing football but fuck that, I’m there to work. Yes, the women could set up their own outings but if all the bosses are men and won’t show up to ‘ladies day’ then it doesn’t really do the same thing.

frustrating

Oh here we go. The cool girlz have arrived. 🙄

Were other men not invited either or were the only people not invited women?

Both are pretty shit but the answer would determine how I'd deal with it.

All men invited, no women = sex discrimination

Select people invited (who just happen to be make) = I'd point out this was exclusionary but wouldn't mention sex

Yup 100%. So depressing. Loke stuff kist seems to "work out" for them, in ways I xan only dream of.

Slightly off point but when I see successful women they have often had to play the game different ways, being giggly,, not rocking the boat, just going with the status quo, being too "kind" and pacifying the powers that be (i.e men) etc.

Not all of them, there are some great role models out there thank god.

This is such an outdated attitude and needs to be brought to attention. Any sport events need to be inclusive, especially those sponsored by the company.

Somebody above noted it was the status quo, so leave it, but I say the status will never change if it isn't challenged.

Quietly speak to the organizer or HR if you have one, and help to organize something better for next year.

My ex plays cricket for his work, it's a men's league. There's also a womens league but nobody from his work wanted to play in it. I can't see why those who wish to play sport shouldn't be allowed to because women can't be bothered

I'd be peed off too.

I love a game of footie and can certainly hold my own against men.

I worked in a very male dominated industry and happened to get into it because I began playing footie with my (all male) work colleagues.

Why can't the women play cricket with the men, I wouldn't want to do a Rugby Srum with men but cricket is less combative.

I still don't understand how it happened, who got invited & who didn't.
OP seems to be saying that only a tiny number or % of staff got invited to partake.

Were ALL the bosses in the photo, how many bosses are there?

It sounds like a spontaneous & informally organised sport event (? some staff playing, some staff watching) happened. The bosses had so much fun that they think this could be great bonding activity in future. The photo is used to announce that in future the bosses want to make this a more structured regular event with formal corporate sponsorship

Where everyone gets invited, etc.

I'm not in corporate world, but tbh, it doesn't sound any more dull & bollocks than anything else that happens in corporate world in name of 'team-building'

Do you have an HR department?

If not contact the most senior manager and CC in the person who organized it and ask, "Could you tell me why a networking event seems to have excluded a great number of people? What was the criteria for this selection?"

I agree, it's outdated and discriminatory, old boy network stuff, OP.

Anyone who says yabu is being naive about the work place or maybe they have got very lucky with where they work.

Why do you actually care? Do you want to play/watch this sporting activity? If the answer is no then you are making a fuss about nothing, just for the sake of it. I really don't understand why anyone would care about this.

You really don’t understand? I think it’s very important.

If not everyone was invited male or female I don’t think it’s a big deal. If all men were and no women - yes.

Genuinely can't think of a worse thing to do.

Who is going to have the brighter career path - the person who took the initiative to spontaneously organised a positively received sports match that everyone enjoyed or the person wanging on to HR that rugby is discrimination?

It's not even clear from OP that the game had any official standing within the company nor even took place in work hours.

It also isn't clear that no women were at the event. As OP second post states, it is only a picture of the players, not everyone who attended the event and OP isn't sure that there were no women.

I would find out more before jumping to conclusions and accusing my company of sexism.

That's not what's happened here though.