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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you help me with organise my nanny..

108 replies

addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:08

I've posted on here before and I'm always getting really helpful advice.

Summer holidays start soon. Usually my nanny has my 1 year old 5 days a week and my 3 year old and 1 year old together, 1 day a week.

I've noticed on the days she has both, it's all a bit tough for her. Cooking and laundry falls behind a bit. I get that it's hard and I have never complained.

I also notice there is a fair bit of TV for the 3 year old. I don't mind that much. I'm a bit concerned as the holidays are so long, how she's going to entertain both of them.

We have a big garden with swings / sand pit/ little house/ trampoline / slide. She never takes them out there. She only takes them out to the playground and for lunch. She will take them to two toddler classes a week.

What else can she do ? Or what can I encourage her to do ? It's tough because they're such different ages. I usually get older one to play play dough/ do drawing / play tea party etc. we also go out a fair bit.

What else could we be doing with two kids of these ages ? I struggle myself some days, but I'm not a child care professional.

Nanny also doesn't love taking them out together to the park as they shoot off in different directions. She usually just closes herself into the living room with them both.

Any advice welcome.

OP posts:
FarTooHotForMe · 26/06/2023 13:10

I couldn’t do the park with my 2 at that age because of them dashing off in other directions. I’d encourage using the garden and maybe to do something like baking with the 3 year old when the baby is asleep.

cocksstrideintheevening · 26/06/2023 13:11

I think if I was paying a nanny I'd expect them to be able to figure it out, not micro managing. Do they have any experience?

OhBling · 26/06/2023 13:11

Your nanny doesn't sound like a very good nanny. 1 and 3 are challenging ages, yes, but they're not that far apart? Soft play, animal farm, playground, meet ups with other nannies and families are all good. Out in the garden (weather permitting) at the very least. Lots of toddler activities would be fine for both eg rhyme time at your local library. What about other activities for the older one with the younger one tagging along and being entertained by the nanny?

Original poster
addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:13

OhBling · 26/06/2023 13:11

Your nanny doesn't sound like a very good nanny. 1 and 3 are challenging ages, yes, but they're not that far apart? Soft play, animal farm, playground, meet ups with other nannies and families are all good. Out in the garden (weather permitting) at the very least. Lots of toddler activities would be fine for both eg rhyme time at your local library. What about other activities for the older one with the younger one tagging along and being entertained by the nanny?

Yes she's taken them to the farm actually. She's also taken them to softplay. And two toddler groups a week.

I don't want to micromanage her at all. I don't say anything. I'm just quietly worried.

OP posts:
Wanttoshavemyhairoff · 26/06/2023 13:14

As a professional nanny she should of course be able to manage both children . Not good enough that the 3 year old is watching too much tv because she can’t cope.
Have you a double buggy ? Or else reigns on both or baby in buggy and 3 year old on buggy board and reigns if needed.
Two toddler groups per week is fine and then the garden in the afternoons.
I would encourage daily trips to playground/ park as they will all get fed up being stuck in one room for the summer .
Has the three year old got any friends from preschool that she could arrange to meet up in the park with ?

SallyWD · 26/06/2023 13:15

So she does them out to lunch, park and toddler classes. Seems like she doesn't have them stuck in front of the TV all day. If you want them to go in the garden you could suggest picnic lunches in the garden (mine loved teddy bear picnics at that age!) or treasure hunts outside. Hopefully once they're out they'll play on the slides etc.
Other things we did at that age were soft play and museums.

Quitelikeit · 26/06/2023 13:15

Give her money for local attractions

Can you take your children out alone? Is it difficult? Do they have a double buggy? Surely she should be taking them out in the pram most days?

Luxell934 · 26/06/2023 13:16

I've noticed on the days she has both, it's all a bit tough for her. Cooking and laundry falls behind a bit. I get that it's hard and I have never complained.

I assume thats the children's laundry and cooking?

What else could we be doing with two kids of these ages ? I struggle myself some days, but I'm not a child care professional.

Also she's a human being. That being said what's your budget for activities as her being out of the house won't be cheap.

Quitelikeit · 26/06/2023 13:17

As she only watches the 3 year old one day a week are you saying on that day she struggles with laundry and housework?

You are lucky that she does your laundry and housework tbh

Original poster
addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:17

Luxell934 · 26/06/2023 13:16

I've noticed on the days she has both, it's all a bit tough for her. Cooking and laundry falls behind a bit. I get that it's hard and I have never complained.

I assume thats the children's laundry and cooking?

What else could we be doing with two kids of these ages ? I struggle myself some days, but I'm not a child care professional.

Also she's a human being. That being said what's your budget for activities as her being out of the house won't be cheap.

Of course it's for the kids only..

I don't put limits on the budget as long as my kids have fun.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 26/06/2023 13:17

That’s big expectations to have all laundry and house done every single day!

Original poster
addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:17

Quitelikeit · 26/06/2023 13:17

As she only watches the 3 year old one day a week are you saying on that day she struggles with laundry and housework?

You are lucky that she does your laundry and housework tbh

Eh doing the kids laundry and cooking and cleaning up after the kids is part of being a nanny.

OP posts:
viques · 26/06/2023 13:20

Sounds as though your garden has lovely things for the three year old to enjoy, make sure there is suitable equipment for the baby too, comfortable blankets for the grass, big cushions, shade provided by umbrellas etc. Ask the nanny what she thinks is needed out there to make it a better space for her and the children. Is it safe, are there awkward steps or other areas that might give her concern. Remind her that you are happy for her to host nanny friends for play dates at home and that you will cover extra cost of snacks for the children and the nannies.

Luxell934 · 26/06/2023 13:21

If she's already taking them to baby group twice a week, the farm, and soft play, what else do you want her to do?

I'd just be honest with her, say you know having the two of them together is harder than just the baby but you'd rather they get out of the house/play in the garden more. Tell her your limiting your 3 year olds TV time or something. Give her a bigger budget for activities and tell her to do with it as she sees fit.

Beenawhilesinceacupoftea · 26/06/2023 13:23

I’m sorry but a nanny ought to be able to manage this easily.

You could find lots of activities for them to do and give her a programme. You could tell her what to do and what to feed them every day.

Original poster
addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:24

viques · 26/06/2023 13:20

Sounds as though your garden has lovely things for the three year old to enjoy, make sure there is suitable equipment for the baby too, comfortable blankets for the grass, big cushions, shade provided by umbrellas etc. Ask the nanny what she thinks is needed out there to make it a better space for her and the children. Is it safe, are there awkward steps or other areas that might give her concern. Remind her that you are happy for her to host nanny friends for play dates at home and that you will cover extra cost of snacks for the children and the nannies.

Oh my garden is absolutely perfect for kids. It's just harder work to get them out in the garden as they walk around all the time. It's safe for them to walk around, but it's easier to sit in a room with them and watch them in the room, like she does most of the time.

I'll ask her anyway and see what she says.

OP posts:
BodegaSushi · 26/06/2023 13:24

Nanny also doesn't love taking them out together to the park as they shoot off in different directions.

I'm a nanny and this is very difficult. 3 is not yet independent enough to have a run around by themselves and a 1 year old is really restricted to the swings. Some of the playgrounds are horrendous with open sides where a small fan can fall and broken bones will be the least of your worries.

Soft plays? Hopefully you are generous with money to dedicate to activities and she can do museum trips and experiences etc.

Also are you taking any time off/holiday so that she doesn't have them the entire period? The summer holidays are long and exhausting.

Beenawhilesinceacupoftea · 26/06/2023 13:25

Encourage play dates for the 3 year old. Maybe the nanny and baby would also enjoy extra company.

I don’t think I expected my nanny to do anything but the minimal clearing up when she had my small children to look after. Certainly not housework and laundry!

Babsexxx · 26/06/2023 13:25

Nanny’s aren’t there to cook and clean so YABU there, however she doesn’t seem like a good nanny as such either …maybe she would find the children easier without the general pressure of the cooking and cleaning? Private chef and a cleaner hired for those jobs I’m afraid that way no lines are blurred so she knows her only real duty is what it’s actually suppose to be the kids!

Original poster
addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:27

BodegaSushi · 26/06/2023 13:24

Nanny also doesn't love taking them out together to the park as they shoot off in different directions.

I'm a nanny and this is very difficult. 3 is not yet independent enough to have a run around by themselves and a 1 year old is really restricted to the swings. Some of the playgrounds are horrendous with open sides where a small fan can fall and broken bones will be the least of your worries.

Soft plays? Hopefully you are generous with money to dedicate to activities and she can do museum trips and experiences etc.

Also are you taking any time off/holiday so that she doesn't have them the entire period? The summer holidays are long and exhausting.

Yeah I don't put any budget on it at all and she knows that.

I'm taking a bit of time off too.

I agree it's really hard to take them out by yourself. Which is why I would love to come up with more hime based ideas. I think having play dates with other nannies at home would be perfect. We are looking into it, but it would be lovely if we knew it happened once or twice a week.

OP posts:
Original poster
addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:28

Babsexxx · 26/06/2023 13:25

Nanny’s aren’t there to cook and clean so YABU there, however she doesn’t seem like a good nanny as such either …maybe she would find the children easier without the general pressure of the cooking and cleaning? Private chef and a cleaner hired for those jobs I’m afraid that way no lines are blurred so she knows her only real duty is what it’s actually suppose to be the kids!

Nannies are there to cook for the kids, feed them and tidy up after them. They also do the kids laundry.

OP posts:
Original poster
addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:30

Beenawhilesinceacupoftea · 26/06/2023 13:25

Encourage play dates for the 3 year old. Maybe the nanny and baby would also enjoy extra company.

I don’t think I expected my nanny to do anything but the minimal clearing up when she had my small children to look after. Certainly not housework and laundry!

Well it's normal for them to do kids laundry and cook/ tidy up after the kids.

OP posts:
BodegaSushi · 26/06/2023 13:32

addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:17

Eh doing the kids laundry and cooking and cleaning up after the kids is part of being a nanny.

Show quote history

And yet, in all of my nanny jobs, I’ve never done laundry. The parents wash all their clothes together.

It’s one thing when you have a child that naps. But as a professional my job is being with the children. I have enough with cooking and tidying to be stressing about other less important things.

Its not the same as being a parent, parents can be lax with with their children do when they have other tasks to get done, and there’s 2 of you.

Original poster
addictedtoblub · 26/06/2023 13:33

@BodegaSushi doing the kids laundry is not that unusual at all. I don't wash stuff together. We have a dedicate laundry basket for the kids and it's her job to take care of it.

OP posts:
FarTooHotForMe · 26/06/2023 13:39

Would you be ok if she catches up on the laundry on the other four days a week?