Is it weird to not want to share?

[WeirdOrNo]

Settle something for me and H please!

I have always had a thing about sharing certain things with people, the obvious like tooth brushes etc.. but also like hair brushes, razors, deodorant, bottles of drink or whatever. I just don't like other people using these things. Where the water is muddied slightly is that I will make the odd exception for my children if needed because them using this stuff just doesn't bother me as much.

So onto the issue that's caused this debate! Nail clippers! I don't know why but I just hate people using my nail clippers. Just get your own. DH knows this and I've told him before it makes me uncomfortable.

Anyway, he basically let teen DSS cut his nails with them earlier and I'm just annoyed. As lovely as DSS is I don't want him using my clippers to cut his dirty nails that probably should have been cut months ago.

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and silly, especially because I do occasionally use them to cut my DCs nails (who are toddlers and it just feels different).

AIBU to think it's fine to not want to share nail clippers and he shouldn't have given them to someone else knowing I don't like it?

And yes I'm aware this isn't a huge life or death scenario 😂

Ps. To clarify there are other nail clippers in the house. I keep these ones in a case with some files and things in my drawers in our bedroom.

Your argument sort of fails when you say you sometimes use them on your DS. Your husband probably thinks his DS is (rightly) on equal footing and therefore fine to use them.

Id agree if it were DHs nail clippers we were talking about. But they aren't, they are mine and he knows I don't like other people using them. It feels a bit different cutting my own toddlers finger nails with them from time to time.

Hmmm I’m with you on the tooth brush but other than that i don’t mind sharing with people I know well, family, friends etc.

being annoyed at your step son using your nail clippers is a bit mean tbh. Just give them a wash with some anti bac and all wi be fine.

But you've made them communal in a way by using them on your son. I'd just be happy DDS is cutting them. You can always soak them in some anti bac or something if you're worried about germs.

DSS

I'd start storing them somewhere else, in a bag or box, tucked away. Put the communal clippers in the old spot, instead.

I don't particularly get it, I wouldn't put nail clippers at the same level as toothbrush and razor myself. But considering you husband does know you don't like it, and that there are other clippers in the house, it was a dick move from him...what reaction did he expect you to have.

Also I definitely think there are things that don't gross me out with my kid now, that will when he's older. I can see why DSS isn't on a level with younger DCs when it comes to sharing/hygiene practices.

They're your nail clippers. You've expressed that you don't want your OH using them so by default that means don't let other people use them either. I'm quite possessive about my items too. Maybe not so much about hygiene but for example I don't like people using my mug, borrowing my clothes, or my books. I like my pen to be left where it is. It's not about being tight, or mean. In fact I'd probably rather give the clippers away in your case, but that's because I wouldn't need them to hand every day.
Your OH is dismissing your feelings.

I don't think that necessarily makes them communal though. I may quickly use my brush to go through toddlers hair in the morning but I wouldn't expect DSS to just help himself to my hair brush from then on if that makes sense?

Me choosing to occasionally use my things on my DC doesn't make them a free for all from then on imo.

I used to cut DS’s finger and toenails with mine when he was little, but now I wouldn’t let his sweaty plates of meat anywhere near them!!

Get him some of his own.

Yes I appreciate it's probably a little odd to not like people using them. I just don't know, I don't like dirty nails I guess, it grosses me out.

But regardless, I have told DH this before so I think he should respect that and just get some of his own / use the others in the house.

I cannot stand anyone else putting their feet in my shoes/slipper apart from my youngest DC messing about (9). I won't share a hairbrush with anyone else, or toothbrush obvs. I won't share my drinking bottle, or facial scrub gloves. I don't like other people sharing my decent tweezers.

Nail clippers - don't care 😃

However - the things we care about should be respected by other members of the family even if they don't understand. So YANBU.

Yep slippers and tweezers, I couldn't share them either. The thought of my eyebrow tweezers being using by someone else makes me feel a bit queasy.

Yeah the tweezers - occasionally i catch DD 3 (21) using them. I huff and side eye her until she puts them down and then whisk them away to clean them. I don't know why i can't say no to that one.

I say no to shoes/slippers though! And with 4DDs over 28 years that a lot of no's 😆

As an only child I am very funny about sharing. My wife knows this, accepts it and even explains it to others. I cannot share food. It's the fear of being seen as greedy and I m having more than my fair share

Even an old lady we both worked for always sent an equal number of sweets home with her!

Your dh should allow that you feel this way, joke about it, but accept it

Things that may involve bodily fluids (drinking bottles, toothbrush etc) or transfer infections/disease (hairbrushes - nits) and can’t be easily cleaned, fair enough. Spray deodorants, nail clippers for finger nails seems a bit extreme, given that this isn’t a blanket rule that applies to everyone in the house.

I guess I just don't find toddlers as generally gross as teens hygiene wise! And maybe there is a little bit of it being about them being my child so it just doesn't bother me as much.

How old is dss? Toddlers are less gross feet wise - don’t know why just feel it’s so.

Toddlers are cuter, but are probably actually far more disgusting 😂

That's fine that your own child is less gross to you than your stepchild.
MIL used my nail clippers once and I still have the ick. She also wore my slippers when she stayed with us so I said she could keep them because I sure as hell didn't want them back.
I don't like sharing those kind of items but it matters who you're sharing them with too. I could live with my sisters or mum using my tweezers but not other people.

I would keep yours in a make up bag OP with your possessions. I'd probably let DSS keep the now tarnished clippers and get DH to hit you nice new ones.

Everyone will have different views and boundaries on sharing. There's literally nothing I wouldn't share with my partner and children. Not because of some saintly selflessness but because it just doesn't bother me.
But surely the issue is you said you don't want to share the clippers so that should be that. No sharing. It's not unreasonably if that's what you want. It's unreasonable to just ignore what you want. Especially as there were alternatives.

YANBU.

Your DH shouldn't be taking your stuff and using it without asking - especially when there are other (communal) nail clippers in the house that he can use.

I hate people taking and using my stuff without permission - I find it really disrespectful.

I'm with OP.
I'd want ANY teenage boy submerged in a vat of Milton before they touched anything of mine.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I just wash them in hot soapy water after use. We share them in our house.