Is it weird to not want to share?

[WeirdOrNo]

Settle something for me and H please!

I have always had a thing about sharing certain things with people, the obvious like tooth brushes etc.. but also like hair brushes, razors, deodorant, bottles of drink or whatever. I just don't like other people using these things. Where the water is muddied slightly is that I will make the odd exception for my children if needed because them using this stuff just doesn't bother me as much.

So onto the issue that's caused this debate! Nail clippers! I don't know why but I just hate people using my nail clippers. Just get your own. DH knows this and I've told him before it makes me uncomfortable.

Anyway, he basically let teen DSS cut his nails with them earlier and I'm just annoyed. As lovely as DSS is I don't want him using my clippers to cut his dirty nails that probably should have been cut months ago.

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and silly, especially because I do occasionally use them to cut my DCs nails (who are toddlers and it just feels different).

AIBU to think it's fine to not want to share nail clippers and he shouldn't have given them to someone else knowing I don't like it?

And yes I'm aware this isn't a huge life or death scenario 😂

It's runny isn't it - the question of exactly when you start to not want to nibble bits of your kids bodies.

When my youngest DD (DHs first) was a couple of months old DH proudly announced he would NEVER EVER stop wanting to nibble her lovely toes! I thought to myself: yeah you will - reception/year 1 when they start coming home with that weird school smell on them and sweaty little feet in their school shoes ...

I didn't say anything of course. He arrived there in his own time 😂

runny? funny!

There were others available, so as your husband knows you don’t like it, he shouldn’t have let his son use them. End of.

Well now I'm in the difficult position of the vote going one way and the comments another 🤔

Small children's nails are very soft. Not the same thing at all in terms of the wear and tear on clippers/scissors. My mother used to have a separate set for (harder) toenails, just to keep the normal set for manicure in better working function. We didn't normally have access to either.

I think it is different as your DSS is big and didn't come out of your body! Of course it's not the same as your little DCs!

It is irrational but you are allowed to have irrational boundaries.

I'd just give them a wash and make sure there are lots of others that can be used and make it clear to DH that although it is irrational it is important to you.

Most of the things mentioned, I also wouldn't like to share, and in general you shouldn't share razors (possible nicks and cute, blood) or hairbrushes (nits). I wouldn't be bothered about nail clippers though, BUT I wouldn't like someone going into my stuff and taking them without asking, especially when there are other clippers in the house.

Also: I just wash them in hot soapy water after use. We share them in our house.

Eh...should I be sanitising the clippers after use?! I'm not sure I have washed them....ever tbh.

equal footing
🤣🤣🤣🤣

@WhamBamThankU

Dont be daft, you don't make something communal by using it yourself on someone else, not even if you lend it to someone else. If you take your best friend out in your car, it doesn't mean your other friend can just come along & drive your car.

@WeirdOrNo

your DH is being VU, there are other nail clippers in the house, these are clearly yours & he knows you don't like others to use them. So why is he letting DSS? There's just NO need. You can use YOUR personal nail clippers to cut the dogs nails if YOU want to, they're YOURS. just because you use them in your toddler, doesn't mean they're now free for all.

I 100% get this!
I hate my DP using my nail clippers on my DSSs. They often have filthy nails and pick their noses constantly so the thought of what's under them just makes me not want to share it with them. DP will still sometimes takes my nail clippers for them and I always wash them in boiling water afterwards which he thinks is unnecessary but it's the only way I'd want to use them again after.

Yabu about the nail clippers. Everyone uses the first pair they find in this house and none have ever been washed.

Tooth brush and razor I get but nail clippers…you’re just being OTT.

Doesn’t bother me. Dd stole my expensive tweezers.

However, Dh stole my lovely embroidery scissors to trim his fucking eyebrows. That made me 🤯

@WeirdOrNo

Go by the comments, not the vote. Some people just go through AIBU to vote to be disruptive, if they can't be bothered to reply, they probably haven't even read the OP.

you asked if it's weird not to want to share, but I think the real question is why your DH thinks YOUR feelings about YOUR things doesn't matter.

I absolutely get this

Anything to do with feet is not for sharing imo

There's so many things that can be passed from person to person

Nail fungus infections can be passed through nail clippers

Clippers could also come into contact with verrucas etc...

I have irrational thoughts

I'd be locking a new nail clipper in a box with a key op 😄

Wouldn’t bother me, except toothbrush.

I used the same nail clippers as my children when they were toddlers. I wouldn’t want to share with my teenager now. It somehow seems less gross when they’re little even though it probably isn’t. YANBU.

People will put someone's dingaling in their mouth but won't share nail clippers 😂

I get you. My main gripe about sharing my things was that stuff didn’t get put back.

Its up to you how you feel about things, and I feel your Dh should respect those feelings.

Can you think of something that is equivalent where you cater to a quirk of your Dh and use that as an example. It doesn’t have to be that’s someone is right or wrong, it’s just how you feel. My ex didn’t like being seen as the bad guy, so if we had anyone come to the door selling (these were in the olden days), I would always answer the door to say No Thank you.

Everyone knew never to use my dressmaking scissors.

I guess I just don't find toddlers as generally gross as teens hygiene wise!

Really? Toddlers stick their hands into everything, pick their noses, scratch their bums, play with their genitals, stick their hands in their nappies - and that's all before they even been outside.

OP if you don't like others using your stuff just put them away so they can't.

Everyone knew never to use my dressmaking scissors

Yeah, same here. Except someone forgot and used them to cut wire.😡

YANBU, I feel the same about using the same clippers as DSS tbh - because they are always very long and gross, I know he doesn't wash his hands properly etc. And that's without the added factor of you being someone who generally doesn't like to share.

Your DH should just respect it and buy his own clippers. There is absolutely no need for parents with new partners to insist they must be uncomfortable in every little way possible to prove their commitment to their partner's child, even when it is something small that doesn't even make any difference to the child.

They were away in my drawers!

Toothbrush absolutely. You don't share.

But nsil clippers?
Bonkers

But if you snog someone on a regular basis what’s wrong with sharing their toothbrush?