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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In-laws won’t leave our 9 week puppy alone

49 replies

Bubblegum74 · 25/06/2023 17:34

Hi we just got a puppy had him a few days he’s 9 weeks old tomorrow. We went to my in-laws today and literally my in-laws wouldn’t leave him alone, DH told his mum to move all tablets from within his reach but when we got there I had to move all tablets from his reach which annoyed me I did say I’m moving your tablets from puppy’s reach we did say to move them. My mother in law wanted to hold him all the time not letting him rest/waking him up all the time & my father in law was trying to get the puppy to jump up at him right next to a glass table & was trying to get him to bite his arms. So AIBU to not want to take puppy over there anymore

OP posts:
Stratocumulus · 25/06/2023 17:37

Yes, let puppy settle in at yours before you take him again.

Puppies are like babies. They like to play but sleep and rest is so very important.

Puppy needs calm and an undisturbed space to call his own when he gets tired.

Your P in L sound very immature and irresponsible.

MavisMcMinty · 25/06/2023 17:42

YANBU! People are so inappropriate with puppies, thinking it’s OK for them to behave in ways nobody would tolerate from a fully grown adult dog. Everything you do at this stage will influence the kind of adult dog you end up with.

We have friends who ADORED our last dog, they’d come and stay for a few days purely to dote on our dog, feed her endless treats, teach her tricks we actually didn’t want her to learn, and worst of fucking all, encourage her to play “bitey games”.

Please tell them this, because your puppy’s puppyhood will be over incredibly quickly, much quicker than a human child’s, and you absolutely don’t want them learning unwanted behaviour at this crucial stage.

Original poster
Bubblegum74 · 25/06/2023 17:47

Trying to get him out of the bite games is hard when you trying to teach them not to bite yet others teach them bite games

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 25/06/2023 17:55

From the sounds of it you could have a long term problem with them around your dog, not just while its a puppy.

MavisMcMinty · 25/06/2023 17:59

Is your dog a big or small breed, @Bubblegum74 ? Just that people often treat little dogs like babies, picking them up, letting them on furniture and allowing them to do things they’d never let a fully-grown Rottie do.

Itsapurplepanda · 25/06/2023 18:04

We took our pup to the in-laws once as it was too long to leave him at home and they were having some food etc out on a table for a birthday. I kept him on a short lead lying beside me but they repeatedly said I was to let him off and I said that he’d just jump up and eat the food (and some of it was poisonous to dogs). They continued to insist he was ‘fine’ and could do what he wanted. I think at one point one of them actually took him and let him off and I had to about dive on the table before he demolished the lot. Of course they then did the big shocked reaction at how he wasn’t behaving 🙄 eh yes I have said about 100 times in a row!

Now have the exact same problem with them and young kids 🤦🏻‍♀️ Don’t know why people can’t just listen when you say something the first time

Original poster
Bubblegum74 · 25/06/2023 18:12

MavisMcMinty · 25/06/2023 17:59

Is your dog a big or small breed, @Bubblegum74 ? Just that people often treat little dogs like babies, picking them up, letting them on furniture and allowing them to do things they’d never let a fully-grown Rottie do.

My dog is a Springer Spaniel

OP posts:
PuddlesPityParty · 25/06/2023 18:13

Not sure why you’re parading him about when you’ve only had the poor pup afew days???

Let the poor thing settle into your house first.

Backstreets · 25/06/2023 18:15

People go mental around puppies. Yes you can restrict visits for a bit - the dog won’t be that little for long.

Original poster
Bubblegum74 · 25/06/2023 18:15

PuddlesPityParty · 25/06/2023 18:13

Not sure why you’re parading him about when you’ve only had the poor pup afew days???

Let the poor thing settle into your house first.

Thanks for your comment - we are not parading him about our puppy has been settling in very well we only took him to my in-laws as they hadn’t seen him yet so we thought ok we go

OP posts:
Rainrainstayawaytilseptember · 25/06/2023 18:20

The way some people are with puppies makes me so mad. We have 2 amazing adult ddogs who tbh weren't around anyone but our actual household. Dc's friends were closely supervised but no adults visit.. They are amazing with any dc but have no interest with interacting with adults outside.. Suits us.

queenMab99 · 25/06/2023 18:24

I have a Springer, they learn things very quickly, so I wouldn't take him there or let them have a lot of access to him.
Mine jumped up on the settee and bit my hair and ears, so I put him outside in the garden, he kept doing it, I put him out every time, then I realised biting my hair and ears was now his signal to be put out in the garden😂I had to change my response!
That is just one example, but your pup will very quickly learn the wrong thing, if exposed to people teaching him bitey games etc.

Whendoesmydietstart · 25/06/2023 18:36

Of course you'll take him to your inlaws op, just like a new baby he needs to go everywhere with you until he settles. He also needs as much contact with other people as possible, but obviously it must all be positive. Set firm boundaries.

PuddlesPityParty · 25/06/2023 18:37

Bubblegum74 · 25/06/2023 18:15

Thanks for your comment - we are not parading him about our puppy has been settling in very well we only took him to my in-laws as they hadn’t seen him yet so we thought ok we go

Show quote history

Sorry OP but that doesn’t make sense. They should go to YOU if they want to see the puppy. It’s not a toy to pass about, you need to use this time to build up trust with the puppy.

Brightbear · 25/06/2023 18:39

PuddlesPityParty · 25/06/2023 18:13

Not sure why you’re parading him about when you’ve only had the poor pup afew days???

Let the poor thing settle into your house first.

Exactly!

Brightbear · 25/06/2023 18:40

Bubblegum74 · 25/06/2023 18:15

Thanks for your comment - we are not parading him about our puppy has been settling in very well we only took him to my in-laws as they hadn’t seen him yet so we thought ok we go

Show quote history

Why though?

Stop parading the dog about! It’s not a toy.

PuddlesPityParty · 25/06/2023 18:40

Whendoesmydietstart · 25/06/2023 18:36

Of course you'll take him to your inlaws op, just like a new baby he needs to go everywhere with you until he settles. He also needs as much contact with other people as possible, but obviously it must all be positive. Set firm boundaries.

Literally no?? They’ve had him afew days! Puppies need time to settle, it’s just been taken from its mum and sibling. They didn’t ALL need to go - and even if they did why wasn’t it on an indoor puppy training lead? Or why couldn’t the in laws go to them??

I hope you didn’t have them on the ground outside either, OP.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 25/06/2023 18:43

Do your in-laws have any experience with puppies?

FavouriteDogMug · 25/06/2023 19:13

It's good to take the puppy about to socialise from a young age imo but only to places he will be safe and it does sound like pil are not ideal.

FavouriteDogMug · 25/06/2023 19:13

It's good to take the puppy about to socialise from a young age imo but only to places he will be safe and it does sound like pil are not ideal.

SayHi · 25/06/2023 19:18

Why would you take a 9 week old puppy to someone else’s home?

Them holding him and fussing with him is fine as long as it wasn’t all day.

I think it’s odd you would take him there and be annoyed that they were fussing over him, so much so that you now want to stop taking him?!

You sound difficult.

Trixibella · 25/06/2023 19:21

You should have had them to yours - he’s barely settled in. They sound silly. Take him home, get him into a calm routine and give it several weeks before you drag him to unsettling people again. It’s not fair on him. He must be very muddled.

grimmers44 · 25/06/2023 19:26

It's better to stay at home for a couple of weeks tbh, just have people visit you in the puppy's own (puppy proof!) home. Also, when you spend time with people, absolutely make them stick to your rules around the puppy.

Original poster
Bubblegum74 · 25/06/2023 19:33

SayHi · 25/06/2023 19:18

Why would you take a 9 week old puppy to someone else’s home?

Them holding him and fussing with him is fine as long as it wasn’t all day.

I think it’s odd you would take him there and be annoyed that they were fussing over him, so much so that you now want to stop taking him?!

You sound difficult.

No I am annoyed that tablets were left in puppies reach and father in law was trying to get him to jump up next to a glass table and bite him with my mother in law waking him up all the time

OP posts:
BMW6 · 25/06/2023 19:37

So they ignored you when you told them to stop and you stayed there letting it carry on?

Poor pup.

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