AIBU to give up my secure job and take a leap of faith?

[MyTruthIsOut]

I work in the NHS, in a skilled field and I fucking hate it. I don’t usually swear which shows how much anger fills me when I think about my place of work.

To be clearer, I absolutely love my specific job role and the service I provide but the NHS is broken and the department I work in seems to be crumbling to the floor.

Many staff are unhappy and rates of stress-related sickness are at an all-time high and staff retention levels are at an all-time low. The whole environment is so toxic. There was once a time where I would cry in my car on the way to work because I couldn’t face the day ahead, and I certainly wasn’t the only one 😢

I have been in my current role for 2 years but I’m now broken. The unrealistic expectations of me and my service (alongside all the other shitty things that come hand in hand with working for the NHS) have destroyed me.

Me and DH have spoken endlessly about how unhappy I am and he can see the physical and emotional affect that work is having on me and he said he would completely support me if I felt I wanted to leave. I’m currently off sick and initially the idea of leaving my career broke my heart, but as the weeks are passing I now feel very strongly that I don’t want to go back there as I just cannot face it. It’s a broken system full of emotionally broken staff.

Thankfully due to the specific nature of my role there is the option to work on a self-employed basis but it would mean starting from scratch : a one year Uni course to obtain specific qualifications, followed by all the difficulties that arise with starting up a business…..which I don’t have a clue about!

As dreadful as being an NHS nurse is, at least I know I have a stable job and a good pension, whereas leaving it all behind to try and set up my own business will have to be a massive leap of faith.

I’ve been a nurse in the NHS for 17 years and it’s all I know, but it is so unbearable that I can’t bear the thought of going anywhere near my place of employment again.

Had anyone else taken a leap of faith like this and just started all over from scratch again?!

And I would really appreciate all honest replies about the difficulties and realities of starting up your own business.

Thank you.

YANBU but only do this in the current economic climate if you are sure you can manage on your husband’s wage, given the price rises. Would going part time be an option while you set up your business?

Could you stay on the nhs nurse bank alongside until it takes off? I'm a nurse and just done 2 long days in hell.. I've checked my emails today and still feel stressed on my days off

Can you manage on just his wage for the next 3 years?

Would you be able to go back to your current job if things didn't work out?

Is there another NHS job you could transfer into in a less toxic area?

If you can manage on one wage or you can do some paid work while retaining then absolutely go for it.
The business side can be a challenge and it’s good that you recognise that, many local councils can provide support or knowledge with that

I wouldn’t thanks to the cost of living. Maybe you can afford it though.

Can you get another NHS job, less stressful, with reduced hours, whilst you set up your business?

I am a nurse too, and appreciate how you feel. I was burned out and exhausted a decade ago. Instead of quitting, I dropped to a band 5, reduced my hours to 24 and moved to a small community based rehab centre. Minimal stress, maximum job satisfaction and still a reasonable income.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

How much do you need to earn and how easy would it be to earn that when you're self employed, bearing in mind there will certainly be downtime? If you can afford a potentially big drop in income then it's an option worth exploring.

I’m quite fortunate that we can live on DH’s wage alone so any money I earned whilst doing my training would just be a bonus extra as opposed to us ‘needing’ it.

By the time we take into account the expenditures involved of me being in work (petrol fare, car parking and childcare) we’d save a good amount of money just by taking all that away from our outgoings. By me handing in my notice we would be about £600 down a month.

After my initial period of sickness (earlier this year) I went back on reduced hours but I after 3 weeks I had to go off again. I have a chronic condition that is exacerbated by stress that at my worst point when work was incredibly difficult at the start of the year, I ended up hospitalised for two days in quite a bad way.

I could go back to just being a ward nurse as opposed to being in my specialised role which would take a huge amount of stress of me as I wouldn’t have any kind of level of responsibility like I do now, but I really, really don’t want to go back to the Unit in any capacity. I had to go back into work a few days ago to collect some bits and bobs I needed and I felt sick just walking through the hospital corridors.

When I go self-employed and if it does well, I have no reason to think it won’t, I will easily be earning double what I earn now.

God don’t go back to the ward! It’s worse than ever. (I’m a nurse who qualified around the same time as you!). I would definitely ensure you have some means of money coming in like bank or agency. I moved into specialist nursing which I love but it took a while to find my niche. However, I know someone who quit and retrained as a dog groomer! She clearly loves it, set up a room in her converted garage and is booked up months in advance. She has no regrets. So yes, if you’ve crunched the numbers and you can afford it, I’d do it but with the safety net of keeping your nursing registration up to date and having it to fall back on.

Go for it OP!

DH did a total retrain last year, aged 40, after losing his job. He'd been in a desk-based role for 15 years and retrained into a very niche and specialist physical trade - totally unrelated to what he did before!

Its been really hard and really wonderful. He works for himself as a subcontractor and he's constantly on edge thinking about where the next bit of work is coming from, and is always the new guy on each site so is always worrying if he's good enough.

Thankfully, he's been consistently busy since the day he qualified. And it's really great for me to see him fired up by something and learning new things. It really has given him a new lease of life.

I'm in a boring, steady corporate job, which I enjoy, and I think it's a good balance. We absolutely know where my salary is coming from, and I can confortably cover us both if in future he goes through a dry patch.

Thank you everyone.

My husband also has a “steady job” so we also know we have that to fall back on.

I’m still feeling a bit apprehensive but I think that’s “fear of failure” which I assume most people experience. It feels like a lot of pressure to give up my job and income in the hope that going self-employed will pay off. The good news is that there will always be the demand for the kind of work I will go into it, and also there will be lots of opportunities to expand on the service I could provide and so further generate more income.

My family are all being really supportive as they’ve silently watched me run myself into the ground for years, and my recent hospitalisation was the final nail in the coffin.

When I first got my job I felt like the luckiest person in the world and it felt like I had everything I had ever wanted….but how wrong I was.

My husband has just left for the work and he told me to get online today and book myself a place on the training so I Dan take that first step.

No matter how nervous I feel, I also know l that I have to do it because I cannot keep pushing and pushing myself like I have been doing.

If you can afford to then why not, I'd probably look into non NHS nursing roles first though. Worst case you'll be able to walk back into a nursing job given there are thousands of vacancies!

I would love to know what it is. You do that you can do freelance afterwards.

You've been given this wonderful opportunity now and I think you should grab it with both hands.

Well if you don't take a leap of faith, you'll be leaping in to breakdown territory by the sounds if it. My best friend was in a similar situation, tried to power through, had a breakdown and ended up with complex PTSD. She spent over a year off sick and is still in recovery treatment with a psychologist a year on from that. She's likely to still not to be fit to work for another year or so and will have to consider very very carefully what sort of thing she can do if she ever does return to working. She's only 50. Don't do that to yourself.

Leap. And you will fly.

Don't fear failure OP, because leaving your role sounds 100% the right thing to do, and taking that leap is an amazing thing to do.

Being on the ward sounds awful and stressful and it's harming your mental and physical health. You can survive on your DHs wage for a while and if the shortfall is £150 a week if you leave (I think you said £600 less a month after your travel costs etc per month, right?) then tbh I think that's not so ambitious working for yourself to match that. Just cast your net wide, be prepared to see what's out there, healthcare or otherwise, lots of online work out there it seems as well. I think the future could well be very bright.

Just don't go back to that ward it's not worth it. Go for it OP!

I’m Paediatric trained so there are limited non-NHS roles that are available to me.

To the poster who asked about my role, I don’t want to be too specific as I know a good number of my friends and colleagues use MN, but it’s related to working with new mothers and babies.

My husband gave up a secure (ish) job, not NHS, and we sold our house in Kent and moved to Lancashire. Bought a house and opened a shop. We ran the shop for 30 years and eventually were forced to close due to declining footfall in the high street and increasing costs. We had less money, later retirement, fewer holidays and probably smaller pension, but we could work my hours so i could pick the kids up from school, help look after my mum and dad who were ailing, and, although it was stressful at times, we enjoyed it. Mind you, we look back now at what we did with 2 school-age children and wonder how we coped. Do what you think is right for you. Husband used to hate getting up on a Monday mornings for work, and I dread to think what the stress would have done to his health if we hadn't moved.

Thank you for that. In some ways I will be sad to leave the NHS but when I think about the environment now, compared to how it was when I first qualified 17 years ago, the memories are worlds apart.

When I was discharged home after being in hospital earlier this year, my two children came running up to me (they hadn’t seen me whilst I was an inpatient) and they were crying their eyes out because they’d been so scared I was going to die 😢 I will never forget the look they had in their eyes and how fearful they were, it physically pained me to see my children so distraught. Absolutely no job in the world is worth putting them through this again and potentially, possibly losing their mum (I was on the brink of needing ICU treatment).

I know work will try and make me change my mind so I’m going to have stand strong against them when the time comes to let them know my intentions.

You’re not gonna fail.
And so what if you do?
You’ll have quit a job that’s literally making you ill and taken interesting courses.
Besides - nothing ventured, nothing gained.
But you won’t fail.
Take some deep breaths and go for it.

Op with a debilitating medical condition would you not be entitled to PIP? If so, that would help towards your income slightly.

I became self employed 4 years ago. If you have a passion for your work then go for it... where you are now sounds awful. Good luck.

I wouldn’t describe my condition as debilitating as I live my day to day life absolutely fine and although there are some very mild restrictions on my life due to the condition, it has no huge impact on me or my ability to function from day to day.

I take medication every day but aside from that, unless I have an acute exacerbation you wouldn’t even know anything was wrong with me (for want of a better word) 😂

I did this, it was terrifying and healing and full of light. The best decision I made despite being financially poorer for a while. I was richer in every other way. Cheesy but true!!

I wish you well, I'm sending you much loving kindness as you navigate this decision, it's not easy but trust your instincts and you will find a way through x

Well I’ve done it….. I have just handed my notice in!!! Eeeeeek!!

I’m slightly terrified but I also feel fantastic!!

Well done! A heartbreaking decision but options are opening up for you now.

Well done!

I was about to ask about the career break but you made up your mind!
There will be lots of people looking at you thinking I wish I had done that!
I am sure you would be able to go back should anything go pear shape. Let's hope it does not 🤞 good luck