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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this offensive or not? South Island girl

130 replies

BastetsWhiskers · 25/06/2023 10:52

I was trying to run a comb through my hair very gingerly yesterday (knots) when I was told I looked like a South island girl. From someone in their 70s.

Is this an offensive phrase? I don't even know which south island they were referring to.

This isn't entirely serious, I wondered if it was something which shouldn't be said. And where the island is.

OP posts:
Phoebo · 26/06/2023 02:36

Colourfingers2 · 25/06/2023 22:09

To be honest with you Phoebe I’m half a century old so I’ve long grown too old to give a monkeys about things that don’t pay my bills or support my children especially this pathetic modern obsession in striving to find something to pretend to be upset by in everything. Some things just don’t matter anymore as you become older and closer to death. Wether the mollycoddled younger generations will experience that I don’t know but mine is as did every generation before me that knew what fascism and division was and fought or campaigned against it all throughout the last century.

My husbands older than you and so are most of my friends, generally people become wiser and more emotionally intelligent with age. Most people no matter how young or old tend not to want to go out of their way intentionally offend people and hurt them. Not being racist isn't mollycoddling people Hmm

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 26/06/2023 02:39

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AngelAurora · 26/06/2023 02:43

BastetsWhiskers · 25/06/2023 23:00

@EbonyRaven I didn't take offense at the term and don't need to get a grip :)

I only asked if it was considered to be offensive in today's world as I'd never heard it before. That'll learn me to comb my hair in front of other people, such a deviant activity!

I still use the words thug and uppity, they convey a different meaning.

Its not offensive at all, give your head a wobble.

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 26/06/2023 02:47

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🫡

Theoldgreygoose · 26/06/2023 03:25

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Swrigh1234 · 26/06/2023 06:27

It’s fun to watch woke eating itself.

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 26/06/2023 06:34

@BluebellsareBlue that'll learn you is a perfectly acceptable phrase/dialect term.

Colourfingers2 · 26/06/2023 08:26

GreatestOfAllTime · 26/06/2023 02:18

Is there anything anyone can say these days that doesn’t come under the umbrella of the race obsession?

Lots of things. But no, you can’t say offensive things.

You do seem to struggle though, you saw nothing wrong with pressuring a woman into having sex, whilst camping, when on her period, when she didn’t want to. You went on and on. So yeah, you obviously have quite a bit to learn about what’s appropriate and what isn’t to say and do.

Oh my stalker troll is back again. Get a life will ya. Assuming you know you’re born that is. Incidentally the camping trip was great, the next one will be and we’re already looking at rings since you asked.

Saschka · 26/06/2023 08:27

Colourfingers2 · 25/06/2023 14:42

I’d take that as a compliment. Why does everyone feel irrationally compelled to look for something offensive in every single word in order to pretend to be upset for the purpose of seeking attention these days?

How is saying she has knotty hair a compliment? Hmm

MrsMikeDrop · 26/06/2023 08:31

Swrigh1234 · 26/06/2023 06:27

It’s fun to watch woke eating itself.

Are you seriously saying people who aren't racist are 'woke'. Wow, just wow 😳🤡🤦🏻‍♀️

MumUndone · 26/06/2023 08:40

Yes it is alluding to race. As an old fashioned term I'm sure it wasn't meant in a racist manner but defo isn't P.C.

Swrigh1234 · 26/06/2023 08:40

MrsMikeDrop · 26/06/2023 08:31

Are you seriously saying people who aren't racist are 'woke'. Wow, just wow 😳🤡🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m seriously saying…no never mind. No point wasting time explaining.

LakeTiticaca · 26/06/2023 09:00

As it seems that more and more previously innocuous words/phrases have been added to the list of things that might offend somebody, it's probably wise to say absolutely nothing, at all, ever.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 26/06/2023 09:13

stbrandonsboat · 25/06/2023 22:44

I think, for someone in their 70s, it must be difficult to keep up with what you're not supposed to say now. I'm in my 50s and can't keep up. Offensive phrases will naturally go out of usage as time goes on and younger people don't know them, like the Beirut reference.

laugh laughing GIF

Once you achieve your seventies, you don’t care. 👵

CoffeeCantata · 26/06/2023 09:36

Sorry, OP - Pedants' Corner calling!

Nothing is 'offensive' in itself. It's a totally subjective concept, so you can answer your question yourself. Is it offensive to you? Only you know that!

YouOk · 26/06/2023 09:43

You have to take offence you can't give it

why is uppity and thug rude anyway?! They are new ones on me!

Iwantmyoldnameback · 26/06/2023 09:44

South Pacific has been on TV many times. It actually is very anti racist (listen to You have to be taught) and the island girls are truly beautiful. If the person saying this was over a certain age this was a compliment.

MasterBeth · 26/06/2023 09:46

Babdoc · 25/06/2023 22:13

It seems from my perspective- in my sixties - that a lot of people nowadays like to virtue signal by taking offence at virtually everything.
It must be very tedious to monitor everything you say in case it might be misconstrued as cultural appropriation, racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. And however much you self censor, there will always be someone woker than thou, who will get you eventually. That’s how purity spirals work, they end up eating themselves.

It must be a lot more tedious when people, unintentionally or otherwise - you can't tell - commit racist slurs and micro-aggressions against you.

MasterBeth · 26/06/2023 09:49

HereComesMaleficent · 25/06/2023 23:25

In our family if you come in all windswept with knots in your hair, we say "you look like a wild woman of wongo" but it refers to the film.

The Wild Women of Wongo. They were all white and on a tropical island. To be fair it's a bizarre/shit film 🤣 but no racial connotations.

A film about "wild" tribes on a tropical island has no racial connotations? Sure, Jan.

IneedanewTV · 26/06/2023 09:52

MrsMikeDrop · 25/06/2023 20:47

Erm wild women, isn't that a bit like a native. Sounds offensive Hmm

Blimey I use the wild woman of Borneo on myself when I’ve been outside. Never considered it racist. And is it? Borneo is a country not a race? Perhaps I need to change my expression to the wild woman of Essex.

stbrandonsboat · 26/06/2023 09:57

When I was young the word uppity referred to a girl/young woman who was cheeky and getting a bit above herself. It was more sexist than anything.

Redebs · 26/06/2023 10:00

MasterBeth · 26/06/2023 09:49

A film about "wild" tribes on a tropical island has no racial connotations? Sure, Jan.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

CoffeeCantata · 26/06/2023 10:00

The use of the word 'racist' to talk about what is actually discrimination on other grounds (eg anti-English feeling in Wales or Scotland) is very irritating but I can't think of a more precise term. Can anyone else? It annoys me when race isn't the issue at all, but there is a kind of geographical stereotyping/discrimination going on.

(And please don't anyone say that the Celts are a different race to the English! No, they're not - 'Celtic' is now best understood as a linguistic differentiation - maybe cultural to some extent - and anyway, we're all such a mixture on these islands it's almost meaningless. But some not-too-well-meaning people have a vested interest in claiming it's about race.)

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/06/2023 10:03

First place I thought of was New Zealand.