Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed with friend just turning up at my house

108 replies

Holly03 · 25/06/2023 08:44

My friend I’ll use that term loosely just turned up yesterday at my house. I’m really annoyed by it as I’ve just moved home and I’ve been trying to get sorted so I’d mentioned I was out and I’d let her know when I’m back(made the mistakes of uploading photos of child on sm in the garden) tried to say they were from this morning but within ten minutes she was at my house. Now my problem stems with the fact that she always comes over at the weekend as she has no money and clearly no food in the house and seems to rely on me, also tries to leave her child for the night(ends up being the weekend). Straight away the child was hungry she claimed she had fed him so within the hour I was having to make tea early as she was already hinting at what was for tea and also had helped herself to food in the cupboards. I was having to make her child food and he was then in the freezer. It seems to be a regular thing and whilst I was moving I got to avoid this. She’s also a smoker like myself so as you can imagine never has any cigarette’s(I’m trying to quit too and seem to end up buying more). Would anyone else be really annoyed by this? I just wanted the weekend to get organised and unpacked and really didn’t want visitors as my house is upside down at present with just moving days ago(even my family understand this) I’m still decorating and haven’t even had flooring put in yet. I just also find it really cheeky to expect to be fed at somebody else’s home

OP posts:
Meeting · 26/06/2023 08:45

Be prepared for her reply OP. She's likely to act like she was doing you a favour and you've deeply upset her blah blah blah. She clearly doesn't care for your feelings so don't fall into her trap.

Sonyrec · 26/06/2023 08:47

YABU because you don't have to let her in, or let her sponge of you like this.

Onelifeonly · 26/06/2023 13:20

Well done for standing up for yourself. Stay firm!

Sparklesocks · 26/06/2023 13:22

She’ll continue to take the piss for as long as she can. You need to put your foot down

Sparklesocks · 26/06/2023 13:22

Sorry - sent too early!!
so well done for speaking up

Holly03 · 26/06/2023 17:46

Bit of a confusion with the original post. I do lock my front door. I was sat in the garden at the back when she opened the back gate and let herself in through the back gate. She could clearly see I was in the back garden but walked quite a distance from hers to get to mine without notice she was coming round, apparently heading to the park close to mine when I said I was out. I’ve had no reply and to be honest I’m not expecting one, hopefully I can finally cut her out of my life as I had started to distance myself from her since moving and I’ve got far too much on in these next few months for any catch ups. In future if meet ups are mentioned I’m just going to suggest softplay or public places as she won’t go without someone else paying.

OP posts:
DriftingDora · 20/11/2023 12:37

clarepetal · 25/06/2023 08:48

So why do you let her in? How about when she turns up saying she can't come in as it's a bad time? She sounds like a CF to me.

Oh Gawd, another doormat letting someone walk all over. OP, just tell her to go away or
Don't. Let. Her. In.

Simples.

CoffeeCantata · 20/11/2023 13:10

OP, please take the advice on here.

This woman is no friend - she is a burden. Ask yourself what you get out of this relationship. She sounds like a parasite to me.

Don't be afraid of upsetting her. That's how these people operate! They know you are kind and hate upsetting people, so they just push, push and push some more.

Yes, you might not enjoy screwing your courage up to do the deed of telling her where to go but if you can do this, I guarantee:

  • your self-respect/esteem will rocket instantly
  • your quality of life will go up dramatically
  • you will be a much more relaxed and positive person for getting rid of a horrible pest in your life
  • her money problems etc are nothing to do with you.

I beg you to take your courage in both hands and improve your life for good!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page