How far would you go to accommodate a vegan?

[Juicyj1993]

In a few weeks we're hosting a bbq for my Husband's birthday.

We have about a dozen guests coming, one of whom is vegan. As we don't normally buy vegan food I've started looking at what we'd normally buy and what is and isn't vegan. To make sure the vegan has the same variety of choice as everyone else I'm going to have to spend quite a bit on alternatives. As we have the non vegan alternatives we won't be eating the vegan versions, so they'll either go home with the guest or be thrown.

How much would you accommodate a vegan?

Would I be unreasonable to provide vegan burger with vegan cheese, plus bun and nothing else or do I need to go the whole hog and get vegan sausages, vegan condiments and vegan coleslaw?

Ps they are vegan by choice, not for medical reasons

I do understand this sentiment though. We have a vegan friend who brings and offers nothing, and then one time ate the bloody cheeseboard (after we’d catered a 3 course meal with vegan options for them) because the vegan cheese we’d spent ages buying ‘just isn’t the same’. No shit. She had been very strict until then and quote preachy about it and still is - if we used the same bbq she’d go nuts, yet chose to eat the cheese. She never offers to bring anything and assumed cooking 2 menus is acceptable social behaviour.

and to those saying all go vegan, why should we? it takes real work to make vegan food taste good to an omnivore, used to the delicious umami and satiation of animal fats and textures. Naturally vegan food like Thai and some Asian is great but a bbq does not lend itself to vegan food very well. I hate packet highly processed food so wouldn’t buy fake meat and I don’t want a whole vegan bbq, no one does apart from vegans, so you end up doing 2 whole menus which is incredibly hard. Yes there can be some crossover - bbq veg, salads etc - but vegans be bloody thoughtful and BRING YOUR OWN!

my kids have some food allergies. I have always and will always bring a complete menu for them, for every meal if we’re staying over, to avoid anyone having to do 2 menus. It’s just polite and shows I care about giving people extra work. some people say don’t bother but I always do and I appreciate the offer but turn them down - it’s so easy for me and no double catering for them. The kids in turn have learned that it’s polite to cater for yourself if you’re a guest and you eat unusually, whether by choice or not.

vegans - if you’re coming over, please insist on bringing your own. It really does make life so much easier and stops us thinking that you think the world revolves around you. And ffs don’t fall off the wagon when I’ve made you a special meat free egg free taste free menu and bought you expensive vegan wine that tastes like shit - it’s insulting.

And some of these comments show why it’s so hard:

get vegan cheese/vegan cheese tastes like shit
get fake meat/no I don’t like it
get plant butter/milk/Mayo that no one will eat and you’ll have to give to the vegan so it ddoesn’t go to waste
get tofu/I don’t like tofu
buy hummus and pita (but I want to eat a similar menu to you just without meat - yes I have been told this when I suggested a delicious tart as an alternative to the roast we were eating)

all in all, especially for ethical vegans, just bringing your own is not only the thoughtful but the least wasteful method too.

True, yes. Just a turn of phrase, a lot of people call certain food products that so I guess I've I've used to it. I don't think many meat eaters I know would be happy with a vegan burger instead of a meat one, but vegan mayo in a vegetarian salad is different to that IMO/E. I think that would be fine with most people.

I have a child with a dietary requirement (not life-threatening anaphylaxis but they need to avoid a particular allergen or will spend the next day in the loo!). If we're invited to an event like this, I would never expect the host to have to cater separately for DC and will always tell them we'll bring food for them. Often there is food they can eat that is naturally free from their allergen but we'll have a backup.
If I was hosting someone with a lifestyle dietary requirement like this, I'd probably buy some vegan burgers, have a plain salad available and other veg such as olives, and that's probably it to be honest. If they want alternatives such as vegan cheese, vegan mayo and so on, I'd expect them to bring their own.

We are vegan and don't expect any extra work food wise for ourselves, we always take a big bowl of roast veggie couscous and a large salad. We are more than happy with veggie and salads stuff that will be at most bbq.

I do understand this sentiment though. We have a vegan friend who brings and offers nothing, and then one time ate the bloody cheeseboard (after we’d catered a 3 course meal with vegan options for them)

Yep, as a coeliac I spent ages making sure I was catering to the vegan, the vegetarian, the person with the nut allergy etc. Never reciprocated.

And now it fills me with dread that people substitute everyday items with vegan versions which are often highly processed and can contain gluten/soya where you wouldn't expect it.

I do always bring my own unless It's a close friend/family member who insists I don't have to. OP, you sound like a wonderful host.

I'm a weirdo who does love (some) vegan cheese although I avoid because it is like eating lard 🤣(in terms of weight gain).

Whatever you want to call it, being awful about veganism is not okay. It is an ethical belief like many others. Of course if people are causing inconvenience to others, preaching, trying to convert then avoid, confront etc but that isn't to do with veganism itself, it's something they'd likely do if they followed any other ethical belief. I don't do this and don't know any others who do either. IME It's me who gets confronted, insulted etc often. I was at a festival recently when a friend of a friend literally went INTO MY BAG and began pulling out my packed lunch/snacks in order to take the piss. A grown adult!

It's puerile, classless and unnecessary. Just accept that some people will always hold views different to your own.

That is very immature, for sure. But the bad rep vegans have is because many of them expect to be catered differently, don’t offer to bring their own and then preach about the chicken you’re eating. I have strong political beliefs but I gauge my audience and keep quiet if it’s not appropriate. It’s the selfish entitlement people hate, not the veganism. And those traits give other vegans a bad name.

Sorry wrong quote!!!! Was trying to quote plantsandwich and her friends’ piss taking.

I'm vegan.

I wouldn't expect a load of extras just be pleased you'd made an effort.

Meat eaters always hoover up the vegan sides anyway! Always.

I understood you meant to quote me

Well, quite. Couldn't you say that about any subsection of society though?
Some landlords are greedy and don't look after their tenant's needs-everyone hates landlords

Some religous people preach and try to convert/commit acts of terrorism-everyone is horrible and takes the mick if they meet someone from that same religion.

Some members of the force are corrupt and commit crimes/are negligent-be horrible next time you meet a police officer down the pub.

Or on a more personal level-they met a police officer once who was a dick so they are awful to the next one they meet etc etc.

It's just not the right way to be IMO. I am not going to never accept a youngish white male chef into my acquaintance circle because that one I mentioned was being a complete dick (which actually really embarrassed me, I didn't see him doing it until he had rifled through my bag and got my (perfectly normal-looking sandwiches and crisps type) lunch out and was trying to get everyone to gawp at it.

I am often puzzled as to where all these preachy vegans are that everyone seems to have encountered personally. I certainly never have.

Sorry for thread derail, OP!

Have to admit that after years of trying them out I now get sainsbury's bean burgers and cook in oven. I grill halloumi or halloumi burgers on the bbq and then make a burger stack. Most things for veggies sadly do disintegrate on the bbq...

I don't understand comments like this. Are people who are not vegan/vegetarian not supposed to eat salad, bread, crisps etc?

What's all that stuff about eating a balanced diet?

I thought this poster just meant that if OP makes some couscous salads, extra sides that the vegan guest can eat, they probably won't go to waste.

I'd say It's better to have a lot of things that can be consumed by everyone, to avoid having to make two separate 'meals' at a group gathering like this. Meat eaters might not want a vegan burger but they'll usually happily eat the veggie/vegan extras so OP isn't likely to have a lot of waste if she accommodates a vegan by making a potato salad vegan rather than vegetarian, having some extra salads etc

What you have decided on is reasonable, OP. Good job it's not Morrissey visiting as he would not come if meat was being served to anyone.

In terms of you accommodating them- you don’t have to specifically, because surely you would have vegetables in your house?

A lot of vegans i know eat a lot of quite heavily processed food, nut milks etc, i really hate buying those things for health and environmental reasons but i do do it to accommodate vegans who visit my home. I think its forcing your views on others to not even buy a pint of milk for visitors to have in tea or coffee.

Op mushrooms are a good one with pretty much everyone. Dh marinates in a mix of sesame oil & soy amd does them on skewers, they are delicious.

Can they not have wafer thin ham?

@TaxDirector If you're worried about waste with nut milks, you can buy vegan coffee creamer that keeps forever. Can't imagine it'd be nice in tea however.
Also, a lot of nut/soy milks (if unsweetened) can be used in cooking (I use them for things like soup, for example.

I keep sachets of milk in (like what you might get in a hotel) for visitors.
@junglejane66 I loved that Royle Family sketch! shows age

@TaxDirectorIf you're worried about waste with nut milks, you can buy vegan coffee creamer that keeps forever. Can't imagine it'd be nice in tea however.
Also, a lot of nut/soy milks (if unsweetened) can be used in cooking (I use them for things like soup, for example.

No I'm against almond milk because producing it is destroying california

@TaxDirector Ah right I understand and yes, I don't buy it for that reason among others (I have no real use for any 'milk' anyway unless I am baking as I don't like breakfast cereal and other things it might be used for). So many products have a destructive 'ethical footprint'.

Look for some meatless burgers. Richmond do affordable meat free sausages that cook well on BBQ. Vegetable oil over them and undercook them. It's not like meat and the heat can be fierce.

Plenty of nice salads and sides that everyone can eat. Fried onions everyone can eat.
Buy some vegan Mayo. You are looking at £5ish extra for their food. It's cheaper than the meat eaters!

Guiltridden12345

It really isn't hard at all, unless your culinary skills aren't up to scratch.

Also vegans don't think the world revolves around them. They have given up meat and dairy precisely because they think of the needs of animals and the planet.

I think the difficulty depends on what you're doing.
I'm a great vegetarian/vegan cook (well because of my culture and background).
It's not barbecue food though.
And usually the main reason I host a BBQ is because I can just buy stuff off the shelves. If I wanted to faff about making salads/veggie skewers/whatever I might as well have had a dinner party.

I don't approve of 'fake meat' health-wise. Yes it's plant protein but there are many additives used to make the texture etc similar. However that would be my default for a BBQ or whatever else is in the supermarket veggie BBQ aisle...

😂😂😂

That list sounds great Juicy, you are a very considerate host! I have hosted vegans/vegetarians for bbqs before and realised in retrospect I could've done more, so I made a bigger effort from then on, and was practically love-bombed for doing so. I think vegans/veggies find bbqs particularly tricky.

As PP said though, corral their stuff off and serve them first, as everyone will get stuck in to it!