Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How far would you go to accommodate a vegan?

758 replies

Juicyj1993 · 24/06/2023 23:22

In a few weeks we're hosting a bbq for my Husband's birthday.

We have about a dozen guests coming, one of whom is vegan. As we don't normally buy vegan food I've started looking at what we'd normally buy and what is and isn't vegan. To make sure the vegan has the same variety of choice as everyone else I'm going to have to spend quite a bit on alternatives. As we have the non vegan alternatives we won't be eating the vegan versions, so they'll either go home with the guest or be thrown.

How much would you accommodate a vegan?

Would I be unreasonable to provide vegan burger with vegan cheese, plus bun and nothing else or do I need to go the whole hog and get vegan sausages, vegan condiments and vegan coleslaw?

Ps they are vegan by choice, not for medical reasons

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
JenWillsiam · 28/06/2023 20:08

Letittow · 28/06/2023 20:06

No one cares if you do but you can't claim to love animals if you eat some of them

Actually you can.

CurlewKate · 28/06/2023 20:10

@randomchap "I'd just do the whole thing vegan. Avoids the issue of having to separate the vegan/non-vegan food."

Yes, me too. Can't be arsed to cook two menus. And everyone's happy because my friends are nice people and not ignorant boors.

caringcarer · 28/06/2023 20:20

JenWillsiam · 28/06/2023 19:17

Expecting them to have a separate one really isn’t reasonable. He should always provide.

We provide for his vegan friends and they are the same people who invite us to theirs. They cost £2.99 hardly going to break the bank.

housekermit · 28/06/2023 20:25

TokenGinger · 24/06/2023 23:39

Aldi do a great Vegan range at a low price. I'm not vegetarian or vegan, but their frozen vegan sausages are lovely and a great price, too.

You won't have to spend "quite a bit". You can pick up 6 sausages for £1.35 - https://groceries.aldi.co.uk/en-GB/p-plant-menu-onion-rosemary-sausages-300g6-pack/4088600213293

Two burgers for £1.99 - https://groceries.aldi.co.uk/en-GB/p-plant-menu-ultimate-no-beef-burgers-227g2-pack/4088600455532

Coleslaw for 99p - https://groceries.aldi.co.uk/en-GB/p-plant-menu-coleslaw-300g/4088600225272

I wouldn't bother with cheese - they'll likely bring their own. Vegan cheese is one of those things where they tend to have a specific brand they like.

Heinz Organic ketchup is vegan and I'm sure everybody could use that.

Warburtons white sliced rolls are vegan, they'll be fine for everybody.

The only specifically vegan things you really need to buy at the sausages and burgers which would set you back less than £3.50.

Heinz non-organic ketchup is also vegan….

Thebestwaytoscareatory · 28/06/2023 20:29

Emmamoo89 · 28/06/2023 20:00

Fair enough but it's not going to stop me scoffing my face on meat.

I wasn't trying to get you to stop eating meat, I was demonstrating that your assertion that "Veganism is just as bad for the planet" was wrong.

Glad you now accept that, although I'm fairly sure you'll return to wilful ignorance about this on the next vegan related thread.

DuchessofSuffolk · 28/06/2023 20:33

Most cheap garlic breads are vegan! Get them a few sticks of those!

JenWillsiam · 28/06/2023 20:38

caringcarer · 28/06/2023 20:20

We provide for his vegan friends and they are the same people who invite us to theirs. They cost £2.99 hardly going to break the bank.

Do they provide you meat when you go?

LaBefana · 28/06/2023 20:44

One thing that I'm getting out of this thread is a profound desire to never, ever go to a barbecue for the rest of my life.

WellPlaced · 28/06/2023 20:56

What do you mean by ‘how far would you go’

I would obviously accommodate them.

LaBefana · 28/06/2023 21:16

WellPlaced · 28/06/2023 20:56

What do you mean by ‘how far would you go’

I would obviously accommodate them.

If we had a barbecue and invited our friends the only meat eater would not get 'accommodated'. They'd have to eat halloumi or falafel. I think a lot of the people who post on Mumsnet think that the world is full, or mostly full, of people exactly like them, that they are 'normal' and they wonder how to deal with weird outlier people who don't eat meat, have two cars, a £500K house, children, don't want to have a baybee, etc.

pollymere · 28/06/2023 21:16

Sometimes people forget that a great deal of regular food counts as vegan. Burger buns can often be found without dairy or animal products in, ketchup, salads, veggie items, sunflower spread etc.

If you do decide to use vegan mayo etc do warn people as it can contain common allergens.

RunningUpThatMill · 28/06/2023 21:18

JenWillsiam · 28/06/2023 20:08

Actually you can.

@JenWillsiam actually you can't. I also say this as someone who used to eat meat and proclaimed to love ALL animals. It's called cognitive dissonance.

You can't say that you have a deep affection for an animal, but bury your head in the sand when it comes to it's slaughter. If you don't want animals to suffer and would never hurt one/dispatch one yourself, then align your morals with your actions and stop allowing others to do it for you.

RunningUpThatMill · 28/06/2023 21:32

RemoteDesktop · 28/06/2023 20:02

Most vegans are actually not entirely vegan.

Loads of foods that are otherwise vegan inadvertently contains some insect parts. Canned tomatoes, frozen brocolli, mushrooms, peanut butter, most berries, pasta, coffee, various spices, etc etc etc.

Indulge in purity spirals and gatekeeping if you like but ‘vegan’ or similar labels are almost always used in a general, guiding sense and not as 100%, exception-free absolutes.

@RemoteDesktop kindly, you clearly have no idea about the definition of what veganism is.

I'm vegan, if I go outside and swallow a fly accidentally, does that mean I'm no longer vegan?

I drive. I can't imagine the amount of insects I've killed doing that activity.

I take medication if needed. There is no alternative, and therefore I'm still vegan.

Veganism is about choosing not to use animals and their by-products. It would be impossible to not inadvertently kill insects on a daily basis, just from walking.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 28/06/2023 21:33

So does that mean that vegans hate all trees and plants, then, if they don't leave them living peacefully instead of tearing them up and eating them? Logically, either both or neither must be true, no?

I can only presume this is a joke. 😬 No one can be this stupid.

No need to resort to childish insults. Explain to me why it is not logical, if you can.

I know some vegans roll their eyes pitifully and patronisingly when people mention plants, but they invariably respond with insults rather than honest, rational discussion.

I realise that, as far as we know, plants cannot feel pain, but they often do demonstrate a chemotactic response and resistance to humans (and animals) killing and 'injuring' them (e.g. banging nails into a tree or pushing coins into the
cracks in the bark can weaken them and shorten their lives) in ways that
strongly suggest some form of 'distress' (whatever the plant version of that
is).

That isn't necessarily the issue here, though. Essentially, we cannot survive as
humans without killing living organisms which have not given us their consent
to kill them - and I think it isn't unreasonable to assume that, given the
choice, if they could choose, they would want to go on living instead.

Every one of us has to choose what level of killing other living organisms we are
willing to accept in order to keep ourselves alive. At the absolute extremes -
both extremely tiny in number - we have cannibals (or would-be cannibals) and
those who will only eat plant/fruit/maybe even animals that have already died
by natural/external and non-intentional causes, figuring that no living
organism is more important than they are.

The vast majority of people will happily kill plants for food, although many of
those who restrict themselves to plants will not object to/consider the animals who are killed during their harvesting and/or pesticides (excluding devout Jains, of course). Many people will also eat products from animals (but not the animals themselves). Many will eat a range of animals, their products and plant-based foods as well.

I don't personally judge anybody for their choices (except the cannibals), but
essentially, from an ethical standpoint, for us to stay alive means taking life

  • it's just where each of us draws our own personal line.

I realise that people will read this (if they bother; they probably won't) and just call me stupid again, as there is no absolute moral perfection in this, except for those who only eat already-dead organisms - which must be nigh on impossible to do and properly survive/thrive; neither would the limited amount of this food available be in any way sustainable for all of us to do this.

TL;DR: What I'm saying is: make your own choices, do your best, even if you wish you could do 'better'. To the minority of sanctimonious, judgey people - whether vegans smugly going on about people eating ‘corpses’ or self-superior meat eaters who criticise and ridicule vegans - just realise that you aren't ethically perfect either and almost certainly never could be: all of us are somewhere on the same spectrum of those who kill in order to survive.

RunningUpThatMill · 28/06/2023 21:37

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper plants are not sentient. Whilst they are living, they do not have a brain, CNS or nociceptors and therefore can not feel pain. Unlike all the mammals that are killed each year for human consumption.

TokenGinger · 28/06/2023 21:43

@housekermit Oh thank you, I didn't know that. When I googled it, it said something to do with the sugar used makes it a no-go for some vegans. I'm hosting a bbq for my mum's birthday in a few weeks and my cousin is vegan so that's good to know it'll do us all. Thank you :)

housekermit · 28/06/2023 21:45

TokenGinger · 28/06/2023 21:43

@housekermit Oh thank you, I didn't know that. When I googled it, it said something to do with the sugar used makes it a no-go for some vegans. I'm hosting a bbq for my mum's birthday in a few weeks and my cousin is vegan so that's good to know it'll do us all. Thank you :)

You’re welcome - I used to be vegan too and I eat ketchup basically every day 😂

caringcarer · 28/06/2023 21:49

JenWillsiam · 28/06/2023 20:38

Do they provide you meat when you go?

Yes. When we do a BBQ we offer meat, veggie and vegan as do most of his friends when we go to theirs. I have a severe mushroom allergy and have to have an adrenaline pen, so can't eat Quorn type products or obviously mushrooms. I don't like bean type or vegetable burgers so they give me meat ones on a disposable BBQ. I usually have to cook them myself though. We all respect personal choices so not a problem.

stichguru · 28/06/2023 21:55

Do a few vegan things everyone will eat. Salad, BBQ veg - corn on the cob wrapped in foil with a knob of butter, big mushrooms, peppers, etc. Give the vegan the choice of particular things first, and get one thing especially for them that they will really like. Ask if they are bothered about it being on the BBQ with meat, if they are 1) cook it first 2) get a disposable BBQ 3) do it in the oven or grill. Also though, don't fool yourself with the "As we have the non vegan alternatives we won't be eating the vegan versions, so they'll either go home with the guest or be thrown." It sounds as if you and the vegan aren't the only ones at the BBQ, so you actually have no idea whether the other people will like vegan food or not. Make sure that the things you are doing for the vegan go to the vegan first, as a surprising number like vegan food. We BBQ for an event 3 times a year for around 12 people and stuff like stuffed peppers, mushrooms, corn on the cob, go down well with lots of people, albeit with meat too, but I'd be surprised if it's avoided!

Toodles101 · 28/06/2023 22:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Emmamoo89 · 28/06/2023 22:31

Thebestwaytoscareatory · 28/06/2023 20:29

I wasn't trying to get you to stop eating meat, I was demonstrating that your assertion that "Veganism is just as bad for the planet" was wrong.

Glad you now accept that, although I'm fairly sure you'll return to wilful ignorance about this on the next vegan related thread.

I know you weren't. It's not 100% better for the planet tho..
Plus there's loads of things fucking up the planet. Eating meat isn't the only thing. It's certainly not going to stop enjoying it. Or lose any sleep.

Emmamoo89 · 28/06/2023 22:32

Me*

Toodles101 · 28/06/2023 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OMG12 · 28/06/2023 22:36

Emmamoo89 · 28/06/2023 22:32

Me*

Everything we do is probably bad in fresh. Surly it’s better to take the least worst alternative- in this case veganism.

for many vegans, being vegan is just part of reducing impact on the environment (and I’ve noticed vegan stuff is often packed in a more environmentally friendly way). They often do many other things in a more environmentally sustainable way as veganism is just part of their overall ethics

OMG12 · 28/06/2023 22:36
  • bad in some way
Swipe left for the next trending thread