Am I not being grateful enough?

[Twinsmummy1812]

I don’t think it’s me but I am in my 50’s so perhaps I’m getting it wrong.

I have a husband and wife team come to clean every fortnight. I was on holiday when they last came and they messaged to say they had cleaned my bathroom and it looked great. I messaged back saying thank you and it would be lovely to come back to and paid them by bank transfer. Next time they came to clean she said she thought I would have text once I’d got home to thank her again (genuinely never occurred to me and tbh the room didn’t look that good!)

Separate occasion - The husband of the cleaner also cleans carpets and my son has a stain on his rug, I asked if he could spot clean it, he said yes, we agreed a price and he cleaned it. He showed me the rug after (it still has a mark but stains are tricky) so I said it was much better thank you very much and paid him. Next time they came they asked whether I was still pleased about the rug, I said I’m sure it’s great but my son was back from Uni and his stuff is spread all over his floor so I couldn’t actually see the rug and I laughed! He looked hurt and she ‘jokingly’ said “that’s what they think of our work…”

A different guy came to valet my husband’s sports car (new to us). Husband has been called away for the day or he would have dealt with him. Seemed like a nice guy, I chatted with him, got him a drink and never having had a car valeted at home before was surprised how long he took. After 2 hours I went outside and said I had to go out for a hour, was he okay? He said yes, he allowed 2.5hours, he didn’t need me for anything, he’d just finished the outside and was starting on the inside (😳) car looked beautiful though and I told him so. DH had already paid him. I told him my parents were in the house if he needed anything, thanked him and left. He was gone when I returned an hour later. DH returned around 11.30pm so didn’t see the car but I told him it looked great. Next morning he woke up to a message from the guy saying how he couldn’t believe that my husband hadn’t been in touch to thank him, that the interior had taken 10 minutes longer than he expected for no extra money. He blocked my DH on Facebook and said he wasn’t coming back to clean our other cars. My DH phoned him and calmly explained that he hadn’t seen the car at that point, if it had taken longer than expected he would have been happy to pay and frankly he should have been a grown up and contacted him rather than throwing a tantrum! He’s not welcome back.

this has all been in the last month! They were all in their early twenties. Is it me?!

It's not you Op. They sound like very needy people - I'd stay well clear!

Nope its not you. This is the state of gen z now. Expect thanking and putting on a pedestal for fuck all.

I blame the everyone's a winner mentality of school amongst the parenting, of course.

Bring kids up to think they are gods that rule everything with no criticism at all and this is what you get.

Can you imagine if you'd had a complaint about their work? You'd have to prepare yourself for shaking and crying.

🙄

I have a cleaner twice a week and send her a thank you text, occasionally I forget .. I don’t thank my window Cleaner or Gardner as I don’t see them or speak to them but do give them a tip at Xmas. It seems odd to me that they expect repeated thank toys for doing a job they are paid to do .. my boss doesn’t thank me for going in to work every day nor would I expect it.

'Gen Z' dont tend to be at a point in life where they're working in husband and wife cleaning teams

Find other people. This is pathetic and inappropriate.

They sound weird. Payment is thanks enough, surely?

People are strange.

It's them not you.

OP specifically said they were in their early twenties. Upper age limit for gen z is 26/27 (millenials are 27-42, i.e born between 1981 and 1994/6)
So yes they would definitely be gen z.

If I'm paying someone to do a service, I'm paying them to do a service. I'm not going to start sending involved Thankyou texts for every person I pay to do some thing!

You've said you're pleased with the work in person, that's more than enough.

They're being wildly over the top imo.

@latetothefisting my bad, I missed the last paragraph 🙈

What an odd statement.

I am millennial and I have a gen z adult dd. Neither of us grew up in a culture of 'participation trophies' and don't know anyone else who did.

The whole participation trophy line is a bit of joke as many say it, but no any remember ever receiving one. It did used to be said about millennial. Now it's said about gen z.

Where do you live that this is so prolific it's causing huge societal shifts so quickly!

Op - you arenr wrong. Some people do expect gushing, for simply doing their job.i don't think it's age either.

All generations have people who expect others to fall over themselves because they did their job. I work with people of all generations. There's dickheads in each one

Blimey! Your valeter would probably have quoted for the job, not by the hour. As for the cleaners … if they do a good job and get paid that says they’ve done what you wanted.

They’re ridiculous. Politely saying thank you at the time, and promptly paying, is all that’s needed. Maybe a good review online if it’s justified. That’s it. They are doing a paid job not a personal favour or going “above and beyond” - the fishing for thanks/compliments/gushing over something as mundane as a cleaned rug is really unnecessary.

Ha, this is why I have never got on with having a cleaner, they either always seem to be very judged, needy or just don’t actually do what I was hoping. Plus having to worry about running around tidying before them come over

P.s I don’t think it’s their age

It's definitely not you. Their behaviour is shocking.
I had a lovely lady gardener and always thanked her if I was home and saw her in person, otherwise I didn't even think to say anything and it was never a problem.
Didn't thank my dog walker every day either but always left a Christmas gift and sometimes an Easter egg!
I would feel really uncomfortable if i heard the cleaners make snide remarks. I wouldn't want them back in my house.

Thank you for all of your replies.I’m so glad it’s not just me!

for various reasons I have different people to clean (one set one week and another set the next). The other one is the better cleaner but terribly unreliable. Her excuse for not coming this week was that her 6 month old baby’s nipples hadn’t popped out yet so she wanted the day to call her midwife to check whether that was okay. That one gave me a good chuckle 🤭

Omg 😳
That's hilarious 🤣

I have such a history with cleaners. I had one who stole money if they found it lying around. Another married couple (very young, she was absolutely brilliant) used to come and clean, she then had another baby and had maternity leave. He then came alone to clean and started talking to me about his fantasy about having sex with an older woman. That evening guess what? Yep, he sent me a dick pic. I was horrified and fired him and he complained saying I was unreasonable and he had sent it to me by mistake!

I'd be tempted to tell the cleaners that if being paid for their work isn't enough for them they'd better find alternative work elsewhere.

I had a husband and wife team to clean. They were very good, but I di move things out of the way to make things easier for them.

I paid them promptly and if I was at home, (not often) offered a cup of tea. I thanked them when they were going. I saw and still see, no reason to follow up each visit with a message as well as payment. If they had done something over and above, or I’d asked for something specific, yes, I’d let them know I was pleased. Otherwise, prompt payment is what’s needed, surely.

How ridiculous. You employed them. They did the job and you paid them.
I worked at Tesco a few years back and they paid me monthly. I expected nothing else from them!!

To me the satisfaction of knowing I've done a good job, is enough. This is just weird!

Threads like this make me really appreciate my lovely and excellent cleaner! She's amazing and goes above and beyond regularly. I still only say thank you as she leaves (I WFH) and pay her (plus xmas bonus etc)! Surely that's all that's expected?

Cleaners wanting repeated thanks for, well, cleaning is ridiculous 😳