How many flower girls is too many?

[Oatmilkplease]

getting married July next year. We have two daughters so naturally they are flower girls, and a son who will be walking down the aisle. Eldest daughter is 9 so more of a bridesmaid, I don’t have any adult bridesmaids walking down the aisle.

We have two nephews and six nieces over our family. I feel pressurised to include them in the ceremony (walking down the aisle etc) by family members. Love them of course and feel as thought I can’t say no but I’m just wondering how many flower girls/page boys are too many? Will it look odd having 11 kids going up/down the aisle? Or am I overthinking it? Is there a way to include them all without having that many kids up the aisle?

Those of you who are married is it something that is even noticeable on the day or shall I just keep everyone happy and include everyone regardless of numbers?

No that is too many, just stick with your own children, do not give into pressure.

honestly, I would just have your own kids- it’s very rude of family members to insist that their children are included too. If you really want them to be included (and not because you feel pressured into it) then have them all.
I really wanted to have some of my nieces and nephews (I have 9) but my brother’s two younger daughters were badly behaved and spoilt and I was told by my mum I had to included them too, so in the end I had no bridesmaids or pageboys at all.

Do you want them all to do so?

If so have them. If not stick with whom you want.

Frankly I've never worried about how many bridesmaids/flowergirls there were at a wedding. I'm too busy looking at the couple

Agree.

I've never understood why people feel so entitled or desperate to be included in someone else's big day. Utterly ridiculous and strange IMO.

Stick to your own children. Do not budge.

Stick to just your own children. Yes, it will look very odd and OTT trailing 11 kids down the aisle. Anyone who kicks up a fuss is being unreasonable, not you.

Sounds like carnage and a preschool will be following you down the aisle.

11 is too many. Agree stick to your own children only.

Stick to your own children

That sounds like chaos, do you really want to be worrying about the behaviour of so many children just before you get married?

Just have your own children.

11 is too many, especially as some of them are quite old. Just stick to your own children.

Definitely your children only!

Do whatever you want. It could look lovely , you coming up the aisle with a huge swarm of children. Or just have your own- completely up to you.

A compromise might be that you tell your family that they’re welcome to dress as flower girls and be in photos etc but only your kids will do the aisle bit. But you don’t need to compromise if you don’t want to. Only thing I’d say is that it’s better to treat all the nieces and nephews the same.

Will it look odd having 11 kids going up/down the aisle?

Yes!

and I imagine lots of your guests will be bringing children?

op, unless you put the brakes on all the kids coming and particularly their involvement is the most important part of the day…. The actual ceremony!, then Your wedding will be more of a circus than a celebration

How many bridesmaids is too much? The obvious answer is more than the bride and groom want. If you want 2 bridesmaids then 3 is too much. If you want 11 bridesmaids then 12 is too much. There is no set appropriate number. As with everything to do with weddings - the bride and groom have whatever they want on their day and everyone else has to lump it! You have however many bridesmaids you want and that is the end of it. If you want all the nieces great. If you only want your own children, just tell them.

11 children walking down the aisle.

the crying, the shrieks, the cajoling…. No one will do much as look at you Op

Just keep it your own children, imagine the havoc eleven kids traipsing up and down the aisle and having to keep quiet during the service, would cause!

If you want only your kids, go for that. If you want all 11 kids go for that. I don't think it matters if it will look over the top or something. people are most likely going to make an aww sound then totally forget it even happened. So totally upto you what you want. It sounds like you want your kids so it's OK to just do that.

11 kids will look like a scene from the sound of music. Just stick to your own kids

11 is far too many.
Stick to your guns and just have your children.

If there is no way to do this without family upset, you could dress the ‘flowergirls’ in matching dresses and some flowery clips in their hair, and have photos of you with them. But don’t have them coming down the aisle, or cars to drive them to the ceremony etc. They and their parents can all sot together at the front of the ceremony, and they sit with their parents at the reception too.

That sounds a good idea.

Sound of music? That would be lovely!!

But it will be more like The Radfords

Don’t let them pressure you - absolutely have your own and that’s it

11 is bonkers. Just say no. It's your wedding.