So I wonder if IABU to think this is at least unusual, however ok and acceptable it might be?
I just naturally don't think about it or feel drawn to it. I am not remotely repulsed by it, am not religious in the slightest and support all forms of sexual and romantic expression. I just can't be arsed with it personally. Is this common, or am I an outlier?
Background: I come from a stable, loving, liberally minded family; rural, horses, good friends, comfortable and very much loved. My late parents had a good lifelong marriage. Our family is quite small but very decent childhood, two siblings. I have no trauma issues or negative sexual experiences that I can think of, and have generally had good relationships with men. Having considered this over the past 30 years I am definitely heterosexual and don't feel interested in sex with women either.
I wondered what all the fuss was about at puberty, although I did like boys very much! Had first relationship at 16 and sex was a fun novelty, which I eventually grew bored with. I had a few casual flings in my early 20's with gorgeous guys and whilst hot for them in the moment, couldn't be doing with the idea of repeating it. I realised back then that I might struggle with a regular relationship.
Met what seemed my soulmate later, handsome and a good man, but over the years I did come to feel that the sex part was going through the motions for me, and I dearly didn't wish to hurt him. I never craved other men and didn't care if he found other women attractive. I was very much in love, but just not clingy or bothered by sex. He never pestered me, but he did love regular sex, and I suppose I just performed for the sake of that, because I felt that it was 'normal'.
We split eventually for very unrelated reasons, which were more concerned with financial differences and lifestyle.
I have been single now for 5 years and barely think of it. It's like I see most people out there seem so concerned with 'finding love' and whether they're sexy enough. People worried about being unattractive, growing older or being left on the shelf sexually. I don't possess any of these feelings and can't relate to why anyone would go through so much existential angst over it, but I do appreciate that I am different, so of course I understand that people have these very healthy and ordinary needs.
The idea of meeting a man and having to deal with his sexual needs, baggage and related issues doesn't appeal to me in the slightest, which might make me seem cold, but I am very much not!
I do need and love close connections, deep relationships/friendships and bonds, I am very loyal and make a great partner. I am not isolated and do have a lot of romance, sensuality and creativity in me (I am an artist).
I don't feel any rush to meet anyone, but do fear that eventually if I make a connection it would be unfair and impossible to expect a anyone to be exactly like me. I could equally have a deep bond (like live with, own a home and share a close connection) with a man or a woman, but I am not bi-sexual.
I'm kind of just not sexual.
Anyone else like this, and if so, how has it panned out for you?