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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son won’t wear sun screen - should I give up? :(

58 replies

Nicoal · 23/06/2023 18:50

Ds 13 has always hated sunscreen. But in previous years we’ve got by with a combination of nagging and white lies (saying teacher says they have to wear it etc). Since secondary school and being more independent it has been pretty much impossible to insist. He hardly wears it. He plays sport and comes back with a red face and arms. Says it doesn’t hurt. I don’t know what to do, I have told him risks of skin cancer but he just ignores me. Not sure what to do

OP posts:
Marezydotes · 23/06/2023 18:54

With my teenage DC it was a case of finding one that they are prepared to use. At the moment that's a factor 50 dry oil spray that doesn't need much rubbing in and doesn't leave a greasy and/or white cast. Any kind of gloopy lotion is nwt with refusal.

Swishytwip · 23/06/2023 19:00

I agree with the pp. For us the only tolerable type is the bar style one. Maybe you can find something that works for him?

BackT · 23/06/2023 19:01

Those aerosol ones are good. You can spray him as he runs past ...

Dreamingofasandybeach · 23/06/2023 19:01

don't give up. why don't you let him pick his own suncream out next time you are in the supermarket? that way it's given him the option and he feels more in control. My dad is in his almost 70s and as a child barely wore suncream (to be honest I don't even think it was a huge thing back then) and he's has multiple skin cancer operations on his face and its so sad he's going through that now if only his mum (my nan) had nagged him a bit more this might not have escalated into his older years so bad. xx

Hankunamatata · 23/06/2023 19:03

Mine only tolerate an aerosol dry oil

Hugasauras · 23/06/2023 19:06

Yep aerosol spray and spritz him as he goes out the door!

Sirzy · 23/06/2023 19:07

Don’t wear sunscreen don’t go out.

ds is 13 and autistic so has massive sensory issues but even then suncream (we use a spray) is a non negotiable

Frabbits · 23/06/2023 19:07

For his own good you need to find a workable solution, don't give up.

darkmodeon · 23/06/2023 19:09

Let him choose a sunscreen?

Show him pictures of skin cancer.

Tell him he'll get wrinkly quicker.

Notimeforaname · 23/06/2023 19:09

No you dont give up. Its neglectful to let your child burn repeatedly. You tell him there is no way around it. It's like going to school, eating, taking medicine.

As others have said , give him all the options of different types of oils or sprays but he must pick one

BellaJuno · 23/06/2023 19:09

I’d be telling him he either wears one he can tolerate or he doesn’t do the activity. He’s clearly not mature enough to risk assess properly.

44PumpLane · 23/06/2023 19:09

Surely at 13 you still have some say over what your child does?

Doesn't want to wear sunscreen to outdoor pursuits, fine, don't pay for said hobbies, don't facilitate said hobbies with lifts, don't purchase any kit or equipment for the hobbies.

I appreciate he is gaining in independence but we are educated to the dangers of sun damage on our skin nowadays, it's just not sensible for him to be outside without protection in the height of summer.

I thoroughly appreciate this is a tough Sell with a teenager but you should keep trying!

massiveclamps · 23/06/2023 19:10

Speak to the sports coach and ask them if they will have a word. Teens are far more likely to listen to someone other than their mother.

UndercoverCop · 23/06/2023 19:10

What about once a day stuff? Only one application then

tallsmallmum · 23/06/2023 19:12

UndercoverCop · 23/06/2023 19:10

What about once a day stuff? Only one application then

not if you shower after the activity. need to reapply then

SidekickSylvia · 23/06/2023 19:12

Keep insisting as it's really important. I had to take an elderly neighbour to A & E last week after a fall, and the nurse said they were busy that day with sunburned/sunstroke children. She shook her head and said they had no idea of the permanent damage done to young skin from the sun. I agree with other posters about the dry spray if they can't be doing with the cream application.

Genevra · 23/06/2023 19:13

We also use the dry oil spray for my son with sensory issues, it's so quick and doesn't need to be rubbed in.

bonfirebash · 23/06/2023 19:16

The spray ones are the best, not the pump type but the aerosol. Aldi do one for about £4

My mum would have been "that's fine but then you don't go"

Member786488 · 23/06/2023 19:17

This was my ds at that age. He got badly burnt on his shoulders aged about 15, blisters etc, when out with friends, now absolutely obsessed with putting it on, even wears t-shirts, buys it WITH HIS OWN MONEY IF HES OUT.
I hope he’s not done too much damage, but that one incident may protect him for life now.

Beneficialchampion2 · 23/06/2023 19:20

Show him photos of skin cancer and the trauma that suffers go through in terms of treatment. It can literally be life or death.

CoachBeardsJane · 23/06/2023 19:24

Tell him this is his future if he doesn't. I thought I was like him when I was 13, couldn't give a shit about sun cream, I was sporty, it would never happen to me. Im about to start immunotherapy for stage 3 melanoma, I've had 2 surgeries so far and will need more next week, this is his reality. Getting burnt once triples your chance of melanoma

tealandteal · 23/06/2023 19:30

My DS is much younger but has sensory issues with sun cream as he is autistic. He will use the ones that come in a roll on(like a deodorant) with a little sponge bit that rubs it in as then he doesn’t have the feeling of it being rubbed on.

Tidlywinks · 23/06/2023 19:33

If he doesn’t use it, he doesn’t go out (except school maybe).

Everydayimhuffling · 23/06/2023 19:36

Offer different types of you can so he can work out the most tolerable. Highest factor possible to limit re-application.

After that the immediate consequence is that he doesn't go to the next sport event if he comes home burnt or without sunscreen on. Your teammates are upset with you? Well you knew the consequences, so it was your choice to let them down.

violetsunrise · 23/06/2023 19:44

It’s a running battle getting sun cream on my DS but he knows I won’t relent so after a wee strop he’ll eventually give in and I can slap some on. It’s the clear non greasy stuff I have at the moment. He’s always out on his bike or with his friends so it’s peace of mind for me.