Son won’t wear sun screen - should I give up? :(

[Nicoal]

Ds 13 has always hated sunscreen. But in previous years we’ve got by with a combination of nagging and white lies (saying teacher says they have to wear it etc). Since secondary school and being more independent it has been pretty much impossible to insist. He hardly wears it. He plays sport and comes back with a red face and arms. Says it doesn’t hurt. I don’t know what to do, I have told him risks of skin cancer but he just ignores me. Not sure what to do

Try Nivea sun cream spray - take 4 seconds no rubbing and it doesn’t feel sticky or smell of sun cream

He’s 13. You’re the parent. It should be none negotiable. Either he wears it, or doesn’t go to his hobbies if outdoors. Simple.

He wears it or he doesn't play sport. Stop being so wet

I'd recommend trying a solar buddies suncream applicator. It's a refillable roller ball. The sponge around it automatically rubs in the suncream for you. It's really good for those which sensory issues as you don't get the wet cream feel.

I've never heard such nonsense.
He's the kid, you're the parent.
Parent him.

Another advocate for a spray. Panama Jack aerosol spray is the only one I’ve ever found that doesn’t make me feel grubby. I used to have to wear prescription sun cream (remember Uvistat?!) and I hated feeling so greasy. Sun cream is a non-negotiable here, though.

I'd go with a loose, light, long-sleeved top and a wide-brimmed hat then, depending on what he is doing. If that's not practical and he repeatedly comes back burnt, it's sun cream or grounded, I'm afraid.

My DH struggles with how suncream feels on his skin but we've been doing really well with the Dry Spray ones that have been around the last year or so. They feel so much better and don't leave you with that greasy feeling. Maybe he'd give one of those a try?

Sun screen fills me with dread every year because my son hates the sensation and puts up a battle. It's a non-negotiable though, my best friend died from skin cancer at 24 and there is just no way DS will be leaving the house without it on (or full UV suit and legionnaires uv hat).

Finding Ultrasun Sports gel this year has been a gamechanger. It's more like an oil and its amazing. My son is perfectly happy putting it on. I hope it is never discontinued!!

My son is autistic and sun cream actually feels awful for him, but we now use the Solar Buddy mentioned above without issue - I still can't quite believe it!

Don't give up! With mine it's wear sunscreen or you don't go out! No compromise and in the end they put it on reluctantly as they want to go out.

I am recovering from melanoma surgery too, my children can see the scarred/bald patch on my head and other scars elsewhere and yet I can only get them to use the garnier SPF50 aerosol.

They are late teens and I leave these by the front door and they have a quick spray as they leave. They will also use the garnier over make up spf50 when out as again doesn’t feel like much on

At 13 he is deemed old enough to consent to - or refuse - live saving surgery.

He's therefore old enough to decide whether he wants to risk sunburn and cancer. You can definitely refuse to facilitate activities or trips where he refuses to wear any, but you can't pin him down and apply sunblock.

Show him what skin cancer does.
I am very pale skinned and never go out in the sun uncovered. And yet last year i had two lesions dug from my skin. And now i am to go back every 6 months, even though i still never go in the sun, to get checked for more skin cancer.

He wears sunscreen, or he doesn't go out.

YABU.

Trying to scare him with horror stories probably won't persuade him, it usually doesn't for teens.

First he needs to find a sunscreen he'll tolerate. Ambre Solaire Invisible Protect (formerly Clear Protect) is my favourite, it's an evaporating spray and not lotioney at all.

Secondly until he finds a sunscreen he'll use, you don't allow him to do his outdoor stuff. Don't let him wear tees either. Ground him if you have to. An immediate consequence like that will persuade most teens far more than scare stories.

No suncream no sports. Tell him if he does not put it on you are telling school he cannot take part. Follow through and call school telling them his not to take part as refused suncream. They have a duty of care and the most school will tell him permission has been withdrawn. He will learn his lesson.

Only let him wear collared shirts or long sleeved shirts in the sun, depending on the sport.

Consider a long sleeved rash vest.

But for the suncream - he might have very sensitive skin and it may be that most suncreams hurt. Only get ones in white bottles at 50+. we have had to move onto expensive suncream for one DC as it is the only one they can tolerate, but it works . You can get spray ones for sport too.

I wouldn't use Nivea - go for a more expensive brand

Does he also have a few hats? Always, always one at school and in his bag. No excuses

For me, I'd approach it in the same way as if they refused to brush their teeth.

Sorry, it's a non-negotiable. If you don't wear sunscreen, you're grounded or no pocket money, or no screen time etc.

It's for his own health.

I understand the battle. I have two highly intelligent teens who are mainly well behaved (13 and 15) who just will not take it seriously.

All the talking, explaining, warning has no effect. They're not rude, they don't argue during a mature chat about the importance, skin cancer etc... they agree, wholeheartedly. Then they still try and escape without it nearly every day it's needed. Then moan or get cross and argue that they don't have time/couldn't find it/23 degrees isn't that hot anyway/they already did it (caught out in a lie on that occasion).

Nothing works. Only me forcing them by standing over them whilst they do it, whilst threatening them that if they want mummy to put it on for them she will. They then do it grudgingly.

Did sunscreen even exist when your Dad was a child?

I was born in the 70’s and we rarely wore it then

Try Riemann p20. Once a day. Totally non sticky at all. It's almost like the consistency of a facial toner. We swore by it when we lived in Europe.

I live in a country with either the highest or second highest melanoma rate in the world. In general people do use high factor sun block. Someone who was repeatedly burnt the way your son is being burnt would just be considered an idiot. People do die of melanoma and others have very unpleasant treatment depending on how advanced it is. I myself never put enough sun block round my hairline and despite not sunbathing for decades I've had two skin cancer basal cell cancers removed and it's taken both dermatogists and a plastic surgeon (all privately paid for) to be left with unobtrusive scars on my face which is considered the best possible outcome in my situation.

Don’t give up. My brother burnt as a child and died of melanoma in his thirties. Try a once a day cream that you get him to put on first thing, like P20. Agree with others, if he doesn’t put it on he should be grounded from going out.

Agree with others, go and choose a spray or even wipes if necessary.
my kids as teens burnt a couple of times not on my watch(!) and I felt bad even though I wasn’t there - I’m sure it does hurt your ds and he’s saying it doesn’t do he can avoid the cream!