Teaching my 1yo to use the stairs

[DownWithBreadsticks]

My husband and I cannot agree on this. He thinks I’ve made a major error, I think it’s sensible.

I have a 1yo. They crawl at lightning speed and cruise around happily but they’re not walking yet.

I have taught 1yo to climb stairs. I’m always always right behind them. They do it well. We’re working on climbing down.

Husband says that this is madness and stairs should always be met with a firm “no”. He thinks I’m inviting disaster.

I think that they’re always obsessed with stairs and it’s best to teach them properly. We do have stair gates.

I have done this with all 3, but my husband didn’t WFH with 1 & 2, so he wasn’t around as much to see. (I’m not a SAHM, but I work compressed hours to have a day at home with youngest on Fridays)

I have googled it, but I can’t find any definitive advice about stair-teaching.

What’s the MN consensus?

YABU: Stairs are so dangerous. WTF were you thinking encouraging a 1yo to climb them?
YANBU: Stairs need to be learned and the sooner the better.

I taught both of mine to use the stairs before they could even walk! We live in a house that’s had 4 floors so we have a lot of stairs. Neither have ever fallen down them.

DD1 was taught how to clamber upstairs and then she came downstairs backward and then on her bottom. At 4 she still likes to come down on her bottom at home when she's carrying something as she says it's faster! DD2 has just turned 1 and has been able to get up the stairs for quite a few months. We let her go up and just follow behind. She's starting to get the hang of turning to come down like she does to get off sofas and things too.

Does he think the child is just going to float up and down the stairs? Of course you have to teach them. I am assuming you have taught going down as well as up? If not, then add that into the mix and you are good to go. Give you husband a copy of The Scientist in the Crib..great book

My DD had physio and occupational therapy at 18 months old.

Both asked me if DD can do stairs and when I said no they taught her how to. Going up first and then down. It was hard on her due to her conditions but apparently most children get it around aged 1 anyway.

I think you’re doing the right thing myself, we taught DS to go up and down the stairs when he was about 9/10 months, obviously he wasn’t let loose to scoot up and down on his own but we just thought it was sensible he knew sooner rather than later.

My opinion is you meet the child where they're at. So if your child is constantly going for the stairs then it's helpful to teach them how to navigate them safely. As long as you know that they can't get on the stairs without you being there, I think what you're doing is fine.

My DD used to climb on absolutely everything at one. I spent ages teaching her how to turn herself backwards, where to put her feet, how to always keep three points on whatever she's on etc... It worked well for us. But the looks I got from other people!

Dd1 used stairs before she could walk. Would climb up and slide back down on her tummy feet first. Much safer than stairgates

Is your child a Dalek?

Do they even need teaching?

Both mine, and my grandson, were up their like rats up the proverbial drainpipe.

It depends if the baby was showing an interest in the stairs.

If yes, you did the right thing.

If no, I agree with DH. Leave it until they start trying themselves and then show them how to do it safely.

Same here, DS could climb the stairs before he could walk, started around 9/10 months, definitely seemed to ingrain in him that the stairs are something you do together and made them less mysterious / tempting (I think!)

This is your answer right here, isn’t it:

I have done this with all 3, but my husband didn’t WFH with 1 & 2, so he wasn’t around as much to see. (I’m not a SAHM, but I work compressed hours to have a day at home with youngest on Fridays)

What a mansplaining twat your DH is! I’m guessing that whatever job he does from home it doesn’t involve weighing up risk, considering evidence or learning from experience.

My child taught himself to climb the stairs at that age. Just one day out of nowhere climbed the bottom four, so I followed him close behind and he did the whole lot.

I spent a month or two following him up ready to catch him if he fell and he never did. Since he was about 15 months, I've let him go up by himself if he wants. If he's going down I still tend to get ahead of him as that's riskier imo but wouldn't freak out if he went down himself (he's 21 months now).

(This assumes he's crawling or climbing up the stairs on his knees and the stairs are carpeted. If he's trying to walk them on his feet or they're wooden floored, I wouldn't allow that and would put in a baby gate).

I would say yes but teach how to get down too .

my D’s chipped a tooth falling down stairs . We moved into a new home . I had ordered a gate extender but was waiting for it to arrive ( stairs in lounge ) I took my eye off him for a minute he was up 5 stairs but fell backwards.

as a childminder I always taught get down with things like climbing on sofa etc .

I taught mine when she was small, we used to play on them crawling up and sliding down on her tummies. We live in an old house with wonky walls so figured it was easier to teach her to be safe than to lose hours of my life researching stair gates. Taught her to always wait for an adult when going down at the same time and now, at nearly 3, she still waits on the top step (they really are pretty treacherous, I'm not being fussy, she does stairs alone other places!)

Your husband's being an idiot.

Here’s a pic of DS learning to crawl backwards down some steps aged 11 months, pre-walking.

That is a little set of 3 that was useful to learn on, but he was definitely trying out the main ones at that age too. I was always right next to him and they were gated both ends so he couldn’t decide to go up or down by himself.

What else do you do at home when it’s raining? Stairs are fun! DS is now nearly 7 and a brilliant climber.

Agree with others: teach him to come down backwards.

Mine went up and down stairs before walking. Stay behind them, don't touch them as it can wobble them. Come down facing the stairs and teach how to hold the handrail.
Your husband is being silly

I didn't go out of my way to 'teach' DD to climb the stairs - she just showed interest in them and started climbing them of her own accord - I'm always right behind her when she does so, so she's not at risk or anything.
You are definitely not being unreasonable and your husband needs to calm down a bit!

Mine were up stairs well before walking, also a great way to tire them out before bed, bit like a hamster wheel. Used to whisk them down to the bottom repeatedly to start again. Great fun and needs learning as soon as you can. Yes also to down on tummies feet first when independent.

I think it's a good thing to teach children to use stairs from a young age. Both my DC liked to climb up from around 1 year old (with someone behind them). My youngest DC has just turned 2 and I've been teaching him to walk down the stairs by himself (holding my hand) for a few weeks now. This morning he decided he wanted to walk down by himself holding the bannister (I walk backwards in front of him in case he does fall) but it's a good skill for them to learn.

I would teach him to climb up and down on all fours for now.

I'm of the opinion it's best to teach them so they know the best way to do it.

If you want them to stay perfectly still and safe then you wouldn't teach them to sit, roll, crawl, walk or run but we know they need to do those things in the safest way possible so we help them out and give them tips and support them to learn.

Thanks all. I am vindicated.

Of course I am teaching them to go down safely too. It’s taking a little longer to master. (They want to crawl down head first!)

Can confirm child is not a Dalek.

DD was also climbing up and down stairs (supervised) since before she was walking. She's now nearly two and for the past few months we're confident enough to send her up and down alone ... With one of us waiting at the top or bottom e.g. 'go up and see daddy'

So helpful now I'm pregnant and don't fancy carrying her up and down all the time!