to think that saying "my house is messy but clean" is a big fat lie?

[SwordViolin]

People say this all the time, my house is a mess but it's always clean but how? If your house is a mess then who knows what filth lurks under piles of papers or clothes or boxes. Anytime I've ever been in a messy house it has always been pretty dusty and unclean. Times when my house has been messy its much harder to actually clean, I need to tidy everything up and organise the space to get ot properly clean.

I mean it's fine if your house is messy and not cleaned because that's life we all have different tolerances of mess and dirt, we all have different circumstances but why say "my house is messy but clean" when it is so obviously not true?

Why is it any of your business?

I tidy up once a week before cleaner but always manage to make a mess (but not dirty mess just my clothes and stuff being all over the place) in the week. So I'm messy but not dirty.

I know people who also say this. Maybe they’re a bit embarrassed by the mess and feel they need to ‘clarify/justify’. Either way…does it matter??

Absolutely, yes yes yes!! I’ve heard this so many times and it’s absolute BS. What do people do, move all the mess and rubbish, clean up then put it all back? Of course they don’t.
Some people just don’t see the dirt, or they have low standards or they simply think their grubby homes are ok because there’s no dog poo on the floor or green fuzz on leftover food on the worktops or there are no flies or maggots. If their bedding doesn’t show visible dirt, they think it’s ok.
Even when they clean up they still have grimy plug holes,kettles and toasters; shelves are dusty and mugs have brown stains. They use the same tea towel for days and their dish cloths are rank.
Doesn’t mean they are not lovely people but I get frustrated when I can’t say “You’re messy but clean?? let me take you round your house and show you the dirt and grime you’re living in.”
Oh, I feel so much better now 🤣🤣🤣

Probably the OP means whose homes are permanently messy and just NEVER tidy.

I mean. From your posts you seem to believe items can't be moved and cleaned under or behind... my DH also seems to be of this belief, judging by his hoovering techniques.

My house is clean but always in some state of untidiness. Surfaces get cleared and cleaned, but items almost always immediately reappear on them and I'm sorry but as the only person in the house who gives a fuck, I'm not going to spend my non-working hours chasing everything back into it's proper place every evening. There's always laundry, or schoolbag detritus, or every possible spread/ condiment that DH seems to think disappears if it's behind a door so it needs to exist on the counter at all times. etc. They get tidied away if someone is coming over.

🙄

Lol 😂 I agree!

I don’t think feminism and cleanliness are mutually exclusive. You’re right about a lot of men, though. If I’m surrounded by clutter and dirt I just feel like my head’s full of clutter and dirt 😊. I find clean and tidy spaces relaxing. But I know not everyone feels like this.

Lol. You’re so right. But I still love a clean and tidy home because it makes me feel relaxed.

Some posters who have toddlers and young children are being far too hard on themselves. A perfectly tidy, clean house with toddlers would be weird!
But I find it amusing when some people say they have better things to think about as if they’re living on some more meaningful, higher plane than the rest of us 😆

You can't possibly clean a house well if it's untidy, so I agree with you!

Stop judging. There is a difference. I pay attention to the hygiene of my bathroom and kitchen and ensure no room goes too long without some kind of once over… but day to day, yeah there is mess and clutter.

Ha ha I am with you on this

I'd say my house is a bit untidy but I do consider myself to have a good grasp of domestic hygiene and cleanliness.
Where as my DM is obsessed with everything in her house looking perfectly neat and tidy all the time but her actual domestic hygiene standards are abysmal, she'll use the same cloth to clean the bathroom sink that she's just used to clean the toilet, she'll use the dishcloth to wipe the floor, she'll use a used hanky to wipe down the coffee table etc etc

is this really something you worry about? My home is cluttered-messy-and clean all in the space of a few days because life? If someone came into my house I would generally say it was messy but clean but unless you’re going into someone’s house and you’re coming out with dirt on you, why would you care?

Depends on the physical condition of the person saying it. If kitchen and bathroom are clean, it may be all that they can cope with. My house is never tidy in every room because by the time I’ve worked through all the rooms the ones I began with are messy again. I’ve learned that life is too short to stress about the things I used to do - ironing nappies (really) and polishing the toilet seat.

Get something else to think about. Keep your house how you like and let others (me) live their lives without having to worry about the clean police. I have better things to do with my life than clean under a box I’ve left there for a few weeks 😂

You sound like a cleanliness martyr OP. Maybe you run some sort of dictatorial regime where your family are scared of doing their own thing. My DH is brilliant but eccentric and often parks his specs on the coffee maker. I am not going to spend my life putting all the families shoes in the shoe box, and am not chained to daily hoovering. Our loo is spotless, the kitchen gleams, but stuff does spontaneously accumulate as soon as one tidies one area. Live your life, enjoy your loved ones, embrace a little messy!

I would say it can be. My house, the clean washing is normally left on the draining board as I never get a chance to put it away… the clean laundry is normally folded on half the table we don’t eat off…. By the time I’ve moved it another load goes on.

Towels are thrown over doors, but at dry and clean. Toys over the floor but again the floors are hoovered. Or the little ones clothes that are clean but she’s tried to put them on from the laundry pile are scattered between the toys by the end of the night….

and I normally have a cup or 2 lying around which were from the washed up side in the morning but I just reuse them during the day… 🤷‍♀️

A friend of mine is always telling me her house is messy. It looks pretty clean and tidy to me.
So I told her that it looked pretty clean to me. She said 'oh no it isn't! Didn't you see those empty boxes in my dining room?!'

She has a cleaner every week and would call her house clean but messy. Me, with lower standards, would call it clean and tidy.

Depends… a hoarders house obviously can’t be cleaned thoroughly if at all!
I consider my house a bit untidy, but it’s tidied, sides wiped down, etc and then stuff gets used, moved etc and it looks untidy again… thankfully my daughter is suddenly more aware and is tidying up after herself and the house is suddenly much tidier. But it was never dirty. Floor is swept several times a day and sprayed and mopped every day. Rugs hoovered constantly etc. but it depends what you consider messy really. Some people consider the throw on the sofa not being straight and cushions not plumped as being messy

Wow this is judgey even for mumsnet.

My house is clean because I clean it often but day to day life means things end up slightly messy that gets tidied away probably once a day. So my house is clean but 23 of 24 hours it’s probably classed as messy. Sounds like you need to get a life though if this is what you’re pondering when your kids are in bed.

I can't believe there are 9 pages of women arguing about cleanliness of houses. Who cares how clean anyone's house is as long as you're happy with the cleanliness of yours. Stay in your lane and do you, and let others do them.

Nah you’re wrong , we have a cleaner every two weeks so the house is fundamentally cleaned from top to bottom , during the two weeks it gets cluttered but the house itself is clean we just have to sort the mess back to it’s home