to think that saying "my house is messy but clean" is a big fat lie?

[SwordViolin]

People say this all the time, my house is a mess but it's always clean but how? If your house is a mess then who knows what filth lurks under piles of papers or clothes or boxes. Anytime I've ever been in a messy house it has always been pretty dusty and unclean. Times when my house has been messy its much harder to actually clean, I need to tidy everything up and organise the space to get ot properly clean.

I mean it's fine if your house is messy and not cleaned because that's life we all have different tolerances of mess and dirt, we all have different circumstances but why say "my house is messy but clean" when it is so obviously not true?

Totally agree with this!

I think they mean cluttered but clean.
The detritus of every day life, children, paperwork etc, rather than dirty dishes etc.
My floors and surfaces are clean and fairly clear, but there are Lego instructions on the sofa, my crochet project in the corner, shoes by the door...
The bedding is washed, laundry done, dishwasher emptied, carpets vacuumed, but there is 'stuff' everywhere that needs to find a home!

Messy
Toys strewn on floor
Laundry not folded
Cups left by sink

Dirty
Mud or dirt on floor
Skid marks in loo
Grease in kitchen

Of course it can be messy but still clean fgs.

Thats pretty much how it is WHILST cleaning. The counters are wiped spotless, but the toys are piled up to vacuum and mop the floor. That is messy, but clean.

Where's the biscuit emoji gone?
I'm pregnant right now and have a very active toddler and your original post made me want to cry. No it's not a fucking big fat lie.
I tidy everything up, clean everywhere, and my toddler is like a little tornado behind me messing it up again. I'm fucking shattered.
I have no help whatsoever at home and very very limited childcare.
My floor is clean and hoovered, my laundry is up to date, albeit the clean and dry stuff often stays in a big pile, my bathroom is spotless, my kitchen surfaces are clean, but I have limited space so doesn't take long before they are covered in mess again. Dishes could be done quicker but they aren't left to fester.
There are just toys everywhere and sometimes my stuff too.
So yes, sometimes it is clean but messy. HTH

My house is messy but clean. Right now I have a cleaner that comes in once a week so it’s definitely clean and tidy for the few hours between her leaving and my kids getting home.

Even before I had a cleaner I’d say I’m messy but clean. Example: pick toys up to do the floors and throw them back down once the floors cleaned. Do my washing but leave it folded on chairs or in baskets. Socks never put in draws, it’s far easier to leave them all in one washing basket. If DH is taking in or sorting the washing it will be strewn across the back of chairs and not folded, it will be put away when I have the energy to deal with it (I prefer doing it than letting DH do it). Shoes lying around, but all the floors are hoovered and mopped, I’m the most guilty for this I have shoes in every room but DCs have their own shoe draws which they use (after prompting) and DH tends to wear one pair of trainers at a time. There is very little dust as I’m constantly dusting, I have a child allergic to dust also, but I will pick what ever crap has been left lying around up, dust and then put it back rather than figure out where it should live. I can’t stand dirty kitchen tops, or dirty pans and dishes but I’m ok with a pile of dishes on the counter if they have been rinsed and waiting to wash properly. DH dose the washing up in the mornings before DCs get up, he likes to drink his coffee and listen to his radio while everyone is in bed, I’m ok with this as long as the foods cleaned off straight away and pans rinsed before bed.

This is what my house is like. I do tidy away the accumulated stuff on surfaces every now and then - letters, papers etc - and get the kids to pick all the stuff off the floor before the cleaner. But it's clean because the cleaner spends hours a week doing all the bits I don't like bathrooms & floors.

I think they mean the toys aren't always tidied away and there might be a coat over the sofa arm and some magazines lying about, a pile of clean laundry on the chair waiting to go away. Not hoarder level untidy.

My house is lived in. Both work FT. It’s clean but at times can be a little messy.
i cant do show room houses - mine is a home.

My house is a mess and most likely dirty in places. I can’t cope. I cleaned a section today and within an hour the kids had spilt a drink all
over the new table cloth, the freshly mopped floor, I don’t have the energy to start again on the one bit of clean house. I hope all the people with clean houses are happy and smug with themselves. Maybe whoever says that to you are embrassed their house isn’t as well presented as yours and it’s just something to say. Be happy they let you in at all.

@birdglasspen

I feel you. Some people have no idea.

Highly smacks of privilege. They should sit down and have a good think about how blessed they are to be in good health, free of disability and with perfect children who put things away, and with homes large enough to have spaces to put things away easily. Oh and money. That's always a big help too.

Posts like these are what made me run around cleaning manically when I had a newborn even though the NHS website clearly states "leave the housework within reason it can wait a few days" on multiple pages to do with parenting (i have paraphrased of course but go and search it out if no one believes me).

There is a world of difference between "clean but messy" and "fucking squalor"

I really shouldn't come on MN when I'm pregnant I get too riled up 😂😂😂😂

This. Exactly this.

My house is tiny, I think dormice may have built it, but we own stuff that we like and we did the Marie Kondo but it all brought us joy. Therefore items abound everywhere but we pick them up, clean the surface plus item, and then replace. Messy but clean.

This is it exactly. There is a difference between one temporary small ‘mess’ such as toys on the floor which can be swooped back into bins or toy box in a couple of minutes and longer term piles of things and clutter everywhere most of the time that would take hours to really sort through and then clean. You can’t clean clutter when there are a bunch of messy cluttered zones,mit simply isn’t efficient or possible to really clean, and it’s overwhelming to declutter, put away, then clean. That is what Op means, not Barbies on the floor or the other examples of one tiny mess or one tiny pile with that being the only mess.

My mums house is very messy AND unclean and she has no excuse for it. She won't throw anything away and lives on her own now in a three bed extended house (just downsized from 4 bed). She leaves all the washing up out for days, has crumbs all over the kitchen floor and it's just generally a tip. Every surface has dust on it and just piles of 'stuff' that she can never find.
She takes offence when anyone comments or hints and gets stroppy saying we're over reacting.
She's 78 now and was always the same and she won't change now. It's going to be one hell of a job for us to sort out and expense when she leaves there.

Oh bog off OP with your judginess.

My house is both messy and - by your standards, certainly - dirty. We are all more or less happy and healthy. There are more things in life to concern oneself with than running a finger over surfaces and sucking your teeth.

No one wants to be thought of as dirty. Mess is acceptable, dirt isn't. But yeh I agree, unlikely to be properly clean if there is mess everywhere.

Nah, my house is tidy (ish) but dusty on high surfaces etc. kitchen surfaces are clean and floors hoovered most days but not spotless.

More to the point - why does this even matter and why are you judging other people?

I have a cleaner who deep cleans our house once a week. I'm also allergic to dust so can't have a dusty house.

I'm very, very messy. I shove everything away for the cleaner once a week so she can clean everything properly, but most of the time the house is a complete mess - stuff everywhere.

However it is very clean. Cleaner than a lot of "tidy" houses I've been to

I know two people who say this. Both live in homes that would be in no way considered clean.
I am not a great housekeeper, however bathroom and kitchen clean and everywhere else is tidy. When people come over I go on a wild cleaning spree so the don’t realise how slovenly I am. I would never say my home is messy but clean.

I am a very messy person but I do keep things clean, every room in my house is tidied and cleaned top to bottom once a week, bathrooms get a wipe over and toilet cleaned more regularly, kitchen sides are cleaned and dishwasher done everyday, but by the next day there will be clothes out on my bedroom floor, toys from the baby and the 7 year old in the living room, things from the car left on the stairs/kitchen table. It gets tidied away eventually. So yes I have mess but every surface is dusted/polished, floors are swept when needed, windows/glass are sparkly and it smells nice. Of course if I’m having anyone over I have a mad tidy to make it look like I have my shiz together.

Mine is surface tidy but deep down filthy.

To me “messy but clean” is when have spent the morning cleaning but then by tea-time the kids magantiles are lying on the living room floor and there is a pile of laundry to be put away. Not piles of stuff everywhere.

An extremely messy house would be hard to get clean but having a bit of clutter and mess that rotates frequently isn't inherently unclean.

My husband and I both acknowledge that he is tidy (but sometimes unclean) while I am clean (yet messy). He values having no clutter and having things put away in proper locations but will do a half hearted job doing dishes resulting in bits of food caked onto them etc. He also isn't great at wiping down surfaces and won't move furniture to vacuum under it. I have quite literally seen him sweep mess under rugs and not care because it looks "tidy". I'm the opposite. I will dump clothes and things in random places temporarily (usually not for more than 24 hours mind you) and I don't care if our son leaves toys everywhere for hours, but I can't stand actual uncleanliness like lots of dust, food scraps, dirt on carpets etc. In my younger days I didn't bother to put clothes away and just had a dirty laundry basket and a clean one. Messy, but not unclean. We might have hit jackpot with our son though because he seems to be showing early signs of being clean AND tidy XD

^^ this.

My house is messy but clean. I spend my life cleaning and tidying but have 3 monsters who see a clear area and immediately fill it with toys/craft/etc. I cannot have the whole house tidy unless there are no kids home