Arrghh what do I do?

[Justfeckoffwiththeovulating]

Serious crush at work.
I'm not attached, neither is he.
Deep down I don't think he's interested. No real signs apart from office chit chat. He is very reserved. Doesn't always reply to my emails.
He is leaving the workplace next week.
Do I do something crazy like write a note and attach it to a mars bar (his vending machine usual)?
I was thinking of saying 'I have never done something like this before but do you want to go for a walk sometime? Here's my number, please don't reply if you're not interested, I would be mortified' but I want to put something in about him not giving me any signs that he is interested incase he goes to his new role thinking he's done something wrong!
Part of me thinks it is super weird and cringey but part of me thinks what do I have to lose?
Honestly this is so embarrassing, feel like 15 year old me trying to decide how to write out my unrequited love's Christmas card to portray the right amount of coolness and desperation.

Buy him a mats bar - put a note on

Ring me if you fancy meeting up love to here about your new job.

This 👆

Dont suggest a walk, that would put me off a potential date 😂 but good luck OP

@OnlyFannys he's not a drinker so not sure what else to suggest??

So he doesn't even reply to work-related emails?
I wouldn't write a whole essay about a potential meet up, him not giving signs or anything - that would be some big post it note on an ever shrinking Mars Bar.

Buy him a Mars Bar, give it to him with a post it omwith just your name and number on it and just say, 'if you ever fancy catching up sometime, give me a ring'.

If you're going to be brave and bold, don't let it be a 'you can ring me if you want but you don't have to if you don't want to, I'm mortified...' message. By giving him your number, you're already telling him you're interested. That's all it needs.
I'll be here this time next week to find out how it went! 😉

You don't have to suggest anything except a potential catch up.

Part of the reason he might have 'friend zoned' me or whatever the colleague equivalent is, may be due to bumping into me with my kid in the local supermarket. He stopped to chat but my kid was going 'who's that? WHO'S THAT? Mmmuuuummmmm who is that?' So I politely made an excuse and went, being pulled along by said child. Was also in a horrible dog walking dirty coat (don't have a dog but that describes it accurately)

The message above was perfect. Or Just attach a note to the Mars Bar with your number and say ring me if you would like to keep in touch. Don’t mention never having done it before or all that other stuff. Far too heavy. But yes. Buy the Mars Bar and leave a simple note. Best of luck.

"Deep down I don't think he's interested"

You'd like him to be, though. Put a note on his Mars bar, simply saying "This is my number, ring if you fancy a chat. Hope the job goes well. "

Deep down I don't think he's interested if I genuinely thought this, I wouldn't do anything. I'd wait for someone who was more keen.

Do it!!

@wildfirewonder then again, if I do it and he's not interested I haven't lost anything. But there is a slim 00.1% chance that he is or could be if he knows I am? I'll probably never see him again!

Do it OP, my DH did this to me (told me on my last day that he would like to take me out) I thought sure why not (hadn’t really thought about him in that way) and 10 years later we are married with two kids 😂😂😂

Does he not just have some sort of social media that you can friend him on?

Honestly I think the breezy message which pp suggested on mars bar sounds nice and it sounds like you won't be too surprised / devastated if he doesn't get in touch.

@Zhougzhoug no he's very against it, as in a bit of a hermit, probably doesn't want any company really.
Weird isn't it, I always attract the 'lads' who come on really strong when I'm really into the introvert nerdy types who never bloody tell you how they feel.

I would definitely not put a message on a Mars bar! That sounds insane.

Just ask him if he wants to grab a coffee some time/go for a drink.

@Beehavewillyou that's a beautiful thing

@NuffSaidSam but then I have to face his reaction, what if his face is pure horror, how do you recover from that??

@Justfeckoffwiththeovulating it’s not weird at all, you’ve probably got an anxious attachment style which means you’re drawn to men who make you feel uncertain and perhaps a bit unworthy because deep down that’s your comfort zone. This can sometimes be the result of a father/daughter relationship which was distant, on/off or a bit detached - you’ve got that as a pattern of how to relate to men and so the men that ring your bell are the ones that subconsciously evoke that feeling in you again.

If you know you won’t see him again and can take possible rejection then go for it.

The Mars bar with a note is a good idea. But don’t push it after this if he seems uninterested.

In case there was any confusion, I didn't mean to write in a note 'give me a call if you fancy catching up' and putting it on a Mars bar. What I actually said was put your number on a post it on a Mars bar and say 'give me a call...'

I think writing the whole message down would look silly and childish, same with stalking him on SM. The Mars bar was just a vessel on which to transport golden digits

@AtomicBlondeRose ah yes that's quite possible. Also, I love a guy who's into very niche things, much more interesting than 'football, the pub and tits'.

But if he's asked shy as you say, his face may look horrified to you but it might just be complete and utter astonishment and embarrassment of what to do or say next, even if he is interested. If you go for it, please try not overthink his facial expression.

And as you said, you may never see him again...

If he pulls a face of pure horror then I'd think you dodged a bullet, he's a grown man and so should be able to be polite!