To protect my home before moving in DP

[bombemma]

A little king in the tooth and been stung previously, although that was a marriage so the legalisation is clear.

Me and my DP are going to move in together, for various reasons it makes more sense for him and his 2 children to move into mine.

I've a lot of equity in my house, no pension and a single mum to 2 children so need to protect my only asset carefully.

Obvs not planning for anything to go wrong but I need to be careful.

Does anyone have any experience advice?

Ye everyone is up for moving in, I'm slightly apprehensive due to work load but I'm being told everyone will muck in.

This is the weakest, most zero-confidence statement ever. You're already slightly apprehensive because you know it's a mistake.

I suggest you listen to that gut of yours that is trying to warn you to slow down.

Of course there are the very very occasional great success story of blended familys and theybare fantastic to hear about.

Unfortunately I have only mostly heard of the shit shows and the regrets.

Now these would be familys where there was money to throw at loads of help.

If you insist on this, make sure you do not get involved in their destist,gp, schooling, uniforms, clothes, hobbies, etc.

Make sure you both split cooking.
Do they all eat the same food or will you be cooking multiple meals?

Wear and tear of your home?
3 extra people is a lot.

Will there be sharing of bedrooms?
If so what happens when they are teens?

I have had 4 teens, and them not sharing bedrooms was a contributing factor to how they all have always got on so well.

Had they shared, who knows.
They benefited from their own space and peace.

What exactly is he bringing to the table?
Besides an appetite to move into your home with his children?

If you go ahead and he moves in, please consider making a will or at least think about what would happen if either of you died unexpectedly. It's your house but who would inherit it? What about his kids? Just something to discuss but don't leave it hanging. At least make one with your family as beneficiaries if you haven't already.

Could you not just pay a small amount if rent and be your lodger?

Sounds crazy, doubling the amount of people living in your house.

Seeing each other regularly in each other's house becomes a whole different ball game when combined in one dwelling.

What you have now is LAT. Living Apart Together. My neighbour and his wife live like that and have been married over 30 years. It works for them.

Anyway, talking about "all mucking in" sounds very vague. I presume you'll be the one it all falls to, the mental load. It's your house.

Don't do it without proper legal advice and use the gender equality tool link someone suggested earlier

Thanks everyone, I'll look at legal advice to be in the safe side.

No I've got a big old house so everyone who have their own room. Wouldn't dream of allowing my children to share with someone else's on a permanent basis