Would this be really insensitive of me..

[Champagneponies]

I'm on a girl's night out, spent all afternoon dressing up and had makeup done. Very rare for me to get all done up etc and was very excited to share some snaps on sm....

Until, just now bf calls very sad as he has had news his friend has cancer. I spoke at length to him on the phone. He is working in another part of the country ATM so I can't go and see him.
It's not his best pal, but a long standing friend. I've never met the friend. I consoled him etc, and he said he'd call me again later.

Am I being unreasonable if I continue my night and post snaps on my Story with the girls? I am sad for my bf ofcourse, but I don't know the friend of his at all. I feel guilty being out and wanting to share pics while I'm dressed up... But part of me thinks live and let live!

Post them, just not tonight.

If my dh was suffering the sad news of someone dear to him, regardless of whether i knew the person or not, my heart would want to be with him. If i did know the person then this would be my sad news too. You can't physically be with your bf so that's where it gets complicated. However, your bf may not mean that much to you that you want to be available to him. If he does, then out of respect you could go, have a wonderful time, but not post on sm until after you've been able to see each other irl and be supportive of him before posting your pics.

I don't see a reason nor to go out but why the need to post photos about it?

Agree with everyone above. Very excited about posting photos? Wrong priorities. I agree you could post them later if it means that much to you.

I think not ok for you to post however if your friends post you in their stories you can share withoit looking insensitive. That's the current Instagram etiquette.

No point taking the advice of people who don't use social media much 😉

@dudsville 🙁your message really resonated. He is important to me...

May go home and be available to him on other end of the phone.

I wouldn't go home. It won't cure the cancer and you've already offered him support. It does not help the cancer patient when people around them stop living and start sorrowfully head tilting
Having said that, there's a difference between being diagnosed with a high grade stage 4 cancer and a lower level with a good prognosis. That much is not mentioned in your post

Agreed. You should act as normal. If your BF is that devastated he won't be on social media to see any of it.

I'm speaking from experience here. Don't let social media rule your life. A couple of years ago, I spent way too much time trying to get amazing pics of my life for social media that I started forgetting to enjoy it.

It's fine for you to go out, but posting on social media, no way, that would be insensitive. Why can't people just go out and enjoy themselves these days without plastering the evidence all the internet?

My first thought was, "Did he KNOW OP was going out?"

I'm no fan of plastering wall-to-wall photos all over social media, but in his situation, if I'd known she was going out with friends, I'd have kept that conversation for later.

I think social media feeds of insecurities

Don’t listen to the PPs trying to shame you for wanting to share your night out on sm. If they don’t want to do that personally than that’s fine - but they don’t need to make out that their decision not to do that is superior.

If I were you I’d go out and post pics, but just hide it from your boyfriend so he can’t see them. I think it would come across as really insensitive if he saw them but he doesn’t need to if you hide them from him. You can change your settings back tomorrow

If you don’t post them as they happen, do the photographs fade away or something?

It feels manipulative that he felt the need to tell you news about someone he's not even close to tonight ... when you're about to go out !! Do not go home and wait for his call ...

What did he say when you told him you plan to stay at home? Honestly I would feel worse if my significant other missed a fun night out to sit by the phone.

Go out have fun. Post pictures on SM and don’t feel bad. Set aside some time to talk to him when he’s home or you both have some quiet time.

I don’t understand why the OP is expected to sit in mourning by the phone for a cancer diagnosis of a friend of her boyfriend ? That is a little weird if I’m honest.

Maybe if the friend had died, but a diagnosis?

But im getting the general consensus is not to post anything... So I won't as don't want to be insensitive.

good on you.

Imagine the reverse happened, how would you feel if your BF posted photos of a night out when you just told him you are at home absolutely devastated.
It just doesn't feel right.

For me, I'd continue my night but wouldn't post anything till later. I don't do social media so I don't know if...maybe if you don't post it there and then, it ruins the whole night? However, I think pictures can wait to be posted just out of sensitivity.

How dare he have a heart to heart with his girlfriend?
It's just a night out, not her graduation party or some exceptional event.

What kind of relationship do people have, it's pathetic.

I think its good that he talked to you. I think its fine now to go out and have fun. You can talk to him and support him more tomorrow.

It depends how you think your boyfriend would react, but to me social media photos seem a bit jarring, because they lack nuance. In real life you can be thinking of your boyfriend and sad for him and also dolled up and having a laugh with friends. But the photos only show half of that.

This

I’m another one who has spent too long on MN and had a 🤨 reaction to him telling you just as you’re going out on a rare and especially “done up for” night.

And it’s a diagnosis… not a death?

imo it’s not a huge deal to wait until the next day to chat, knowing a partner is doing something they’ve been looking forward to, and they don’t do very often?

But that’s just me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Go out. But don't post on SM.