How much cash for wedding present

[Toohotto]

It's my nephews wedding tomorrow at a very nice venue. Me, dh, adult dc & partners, so 6 of us, are all going to the whole thing.
Is £100 from the 6 of us not enough, or too much? We can afford £100, more if it is deemed to be tight. I don't want to spend more though, as there's outfits & accommodation. I'm not asking adult dc to contribute due to cost of living. We're mortgage & debt free so I'd rather pay their share fir them.

£100 from six adults is very tight. You should gift whatever you want and the kids gift what they can.

I do think gifts should be funded yourself actually. It would be better for the cousin to pay £20 out of their own pocket if that's all they can afford and you and your husband to give £200 from you to your nephew to make up for it. IMO.

I would say £100 from you as a couple and then your dc should give their own cards with whatever they deem appropriate, be that £20, £50, a bottle of champagne then that’s up to them. I understand the col thing and I think if my dc were in this position and we’re not working then I would cover their gift but as they are working I think your dc should cover their own gifts and you and your husband could buy their drinks whilst at the wedding to help out.

I agree that the adult dc should be doing their own thing. £100 from you two is fine.

I'd say £50-£100 per couple is more the norm if you're invited to the whole day.

So £150+ if you're teaming it all together.

£100 is more than enough
Anybody that expects more is just grabby

Minimum £100 per couple. £100 between 6 is TIGHT!

I think it depends on your social circle. £100 per couple for a wedding gift would be ridiculously ££ for my family/friends. £30-50 is the norm depending on how tight things are.

I think it’s nice you want to help your adult DC, when I was on mat leave for my second baby and I was a bridesmaid for a wedding my Mam chipped in some money for the hotel room which I greatly appreciated.

There's a cost of living crisis, people should be happy with what they get.

Are you sure your adult DC haven’t already sorted their own gifts? You could end up doubling up.

Yes this sounds the norm.

It seems fine to me. I've never even given money as a wedding gift. A wedding isn't an excuse to get money, if people turn up with a card only, the main thing is they're there, surely. It's your presence at the wedding that they want, not money.

We always do a small personalised gift with the bride and groom's names and date of the wedding and also give £50 between us (me and DH). If we know they are going away on honeymoon we give the cash in the relevant currency.

Feels weird and a bit controlling to try to dictate what your children give. Are you worried they’ll not give anything and embarrass you?

Why does helping out your children have to be tied to giving money to a third party? Just give each child £50 if you want to, but let them organise their own gift?!

It's cheeky to ask for money. I'd give £26.50.

Give what you can afford and then forget about it.
The bride and groom might have spent a lot of money on the wedding; that's up to them. You should never spend money expecting to get it back in cash or in kind, regardless of the occasion.

Agree with this 100%. Giving a joint card between six of you when your kids are adults is very strange.

Just to add; it’s not about the amount, it’s just a weird way of doing it,

I do £25 per adult and £10 per child. A family of six adults would be £150.

Really weird to give your adult children with their plus ones some cash to put in their own card.

If they’re old enough to be invited with a partner they are old enough to sort your own gift.

You keep insisting that you want to be considerate and therefore gift on behalf of your children but £100 obviously isn’t doing that. Surely you wouldn’t have given £30 if it was just you and DH attending?

No one asked for money.