To think that MIL has exerted a malign influence here (LIGHTHEARTED)

[MagicClawHasNoChildren]

DD(4) has recently started asking for her toast 'without the butter melted in' in the mornings. As far as I'm concerned, this is the height of weirdness, so naturally, I was wondering to my husband whether this creature was born or made.

He then casually mentioned that that's how his mum eats toast - she toasts it, lets it go cold, and then smears butter on it like it's a massive ryvita. AIBU to be appalled at this shocking influence on my innocent baby? It starts like this, but where does it end?

(Disclaimer for the hard of humour: DD can have her toast any way she wants, and I love my MIL very, very much. She's a wonderful person, toast preferences aside, and I'm glad she spends as much time as she does with my kids. )

No contact is the only reasonable way forward here.
Today dry toast.
Tomorrow dry pasta.

Haha, @MagicClawHasNoChildren , my mum also does toast in this way. I was laughing long until you mentioned the butter on Weetabix thing... I do that 😳My family (in fact, anyone I've ever admitted it to) thinks it's weird. I am unrepentant though; I love my big, buttery, chipboard biscuits 😂

I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE!!!

Clearly a glutton as I can take my toast either way!

I do this when it’s beans on toast so much better. Really toasted until it’s just before burnt let it cool, add butter, beans and or cheese with a big cup of builders tea= perfection 👌

You need to LTB and go NC with MIL, altho you have a DH problem not a MIL problem as he should have warned you of her degeneracy.

That is the only way to eat toast. I agree with your MIL

This is the only way to make toast. I don’t mind it cooling in the toaster though.

This is impeccable standard setting from your MIL!
I leave mine to cool propped up on a knife so it goes extra chewy.

We used to have a big plate of toast on the breakfast trolly for patients and parents. Cool/cold by the time we got the left overs. Semi soggy with proper nutter on. Lush. We don't have it anymore, the menu went posh and it's pancakes and croissants cooked to order. Really miss the cozy toast smell.

@FussyPud I always put the butter packs between the roast if I make it at work. Clearly I should be sacked on the spot. 🤣

That’s the only way to eat nice butter.

This is how I like my beans on toast too! Cool crispy toast and butter. It's all too soggy with melted butter and beans.

How are people buttering weetabix without it all just crumbling?

The toast cooler, you mean?

@RightOnTheEdge It must require a firm but gentle touch and a nerve of steel. Or maybe do it while it's still in the packet, so you have the paper/other chipboard biscuits to bolster the top victim.

Delos's Perfect Toast

"While that’s happening, keep and eye on it and don’t wander far away. When the toast is done, remove it immediately to a toast rack. Why a toast rack? Because they are a brilliant invention. Freshly made toast contains steam, and if you place it in a vertical position, in which the air is allowed to circulate, the steam escapes and the toast becomes crisp and crunchy. Putting it straight on to a plate means the steam is trapped underneath, making it damp and soggy. If you don’t posses a toast rack, you really ought to invest in a modest one. Failing that, stand your toast up against a jar or something similar for about 1 minute before serving."

I heard Delia on the Food Programme on R4, I think, talking about toast.
She is so right, butter on slightly cold, freshly made toast is perfection.

Topped with Marmire, or Bonne Maman Apricot Preserves, food of the Goddess!

Delia Not Delos! Autocorrect won't let me change it!

Cold buttered toast here too. Butter that's just soft enough to spread on cold toast tastes a lot better than butter that's melted on hot toast.

My mother eats toast the same way as your MIL.

If I am having just butter on my toast then it's loads of salted butter all over and eat it with rivers of butter streaming over your hand/arm/clean clothes etc. But, if I decide to have toast with jam for a change, it's cool the toast on the plate in triangular house mode, it also needs to be really really well done, not black but almost then when cold it gets a very thin layer of butter followed by raspberry jam, yummm it's heaven, the crunch, the well done almost bitter taste and the raspberry jam lol
I chop and change my toast for beans on toast too, sometimes I have it with immediately buttered soggy toast prepared seconds before putting the beans on and other times it's well done to the point of burnt, left to go cold, oodles of butter and then the beans on top.

I'd be really concerned if your MIL did what I witnessed as a child on a sleepover at a friends house. Offered toast for breakfast, was so pleased that the toast was made and handed to me still warm with loads of marg on top and started eating. Looked over at my friend with her piece of toast and she'd folded it in half and was dunking it in her tea 😮I gagged at the sight of the fat floating around the top of the mug, it was so gross! On following sleepovers I declined breakfast 😆

I see your cold toast with butter and raise you ..... coq au vin served with sweet chilli sauce. [Glares at DFIL]

Timing is critical for perfect toast and butter. The toast has to be semi-cooled so that it's just warm enough for about 25% of the butter to melt and the rest to be little blobs that give your tongue chance to taste it fully. The timing also means that the toast is neither cardboard-y nor soggy.

Nice soft butter, don't press too hard. Best with a sprinkle of sugar as well.....

Did she go to boarding school?

I believe food scientists have decreed that the "best tasting toast" is cut into triangles with some melted butter and some small pieces of solid but melting butter. I am inclined to agree.

However, after years at boarding school where, by the time you have queued to get your breakfast, even freshly made hot toast (which it probably wasn't, it had probably been sitting in the warming tray for 10 minutes) will be cold by the time you have sat down, I quite like cold toast spread with cold and barely spreadable butter, like your MIL. I would go so far as to say it is better than warm toast with only partially melted butter or warm toast with only completely melted butter.

My MIL convinced my dd that custard should be thin not thick. And she's 25 now and STILL thinks that!

Oh. That is APPALLING.

How did these 'people' (I think they're aliens) get into our lives?!

The 'Nigella Method' is far and away the best way to eat toast.

Highly recommended.