Putting pictures of other parents teenagers on FB

[SeaSnakes1]

People in my area are posting pics of unruly teenagers (aged about 13 -15) in the area on FB asking if anyone ‘knows them’ as they are trouble makers.

I totally get the frustration and reasoning but surely this is a safeguarding issue? I’m surprised admin allow this?

It’s not great, I wouldn’t do it. But ‘safeguarding’ is probably pushing it a bit.

I think it can be a good thing.

I saw one about a month ago on a local Facebook group about two 13 year old boys. They had been harassing a shop keeper that week and a customer took photos of them swearing and threatening the poor man. One mum responded within an hour to apologise to the poster and say how mortified she was. She said she'd spoken to him and detailed how he was being punished. His father had already been round to the shop with the son in tow to make him apologise and his savings were left on the shop counter as an apology. Then the second mum popped up 10 minutes later with another profuse apology. Her son was also brought to the shop. Both mum's were horrified and said they'd never have expected it of their children.

It was no doubt a good lesson for the boys. I doubt they expected their parents could find out from Facebook posts written by a stranger. It was also good for everyone else on there to see parents being parents. The number of positive comments and sympathy the mum's received was very heartwarming too. If it hadn't happened that poor shop keeper could have faced months of abuse.

The thing is the Internet is permanent. So forevermore there will be a video of them at 13 making poor choices. I think everyone has the right to make mistakes as they're growing up and becoming better people. Would probably have been better this be dealt with by community police who could have intervened, caused the same reaction from the parents but then let everyone go about their business. I've seen young people get hammered in court cases because court of public opinion negated their right to a fair trial, what wasn't shown in the video is that they were exceptionally vulnerable and it wasn't then taken into account in court. I always felt that was because there was a public baying for blood. There was also a significant impact on the young person when they got online and got to see lots of people saying they should have killed themselves, that they deserved to die that they were scum etc etc etc. Of course its a safeguarding issue. What if those kids were in the care system and weren't allowed their image online incase people who exploited them in the past tracked them down. The other problem is that context is everything. I know anther person who was filmed being violent- what wasn't shown was that her partner was forcing her and was highly abusive. Surely people are allowed to make mistakes and grow and become better without having everything immortalised, especially when they're that young?

God this is so heartening to read. People actually taking responsibility for their kids and doing a spot of parenting.
Not defending indefensible behaviour so that the teenagers get cockier and up the ante.

Stigma and shame do serve some purpose in society and if people (of any age) are going to behave shamefully then they should expect to be embarrassed at some point in the future.

upping the ante - that should have said. Am tired.

In the past when people lived in actual communities, rather than this so-called global village, they would have been “corrected” within their community.
Now we don’t live in the same way so everyone just does whatever the hell they like, to whomever they like, with no consequences.

You only have to look on here to read about inconsiderate neighbours, kids riding up and down the street on electric scooters, people shouting at each other in shops and so on.
There’s just no consequence to any of it.

Why do people always throw this “safeguarding” into every argument? If your kids are naughty take responsibility for it!

I thought the same of you until I worked in education and realised that more children and teenagers than we know are in the care system. Some have been removed from parents or fled with a parent from abusive relationships. Posting their photo can and does compromise their safety: hence safeguarding. It can seriously jeopardise the safety of their placement.

Most court cases for teens are dealt with in the youth court by specially trained JPs and I’ve never seen a situation where negative publicity has been brought up in court because it would be totally inappropriate for a prosecutor to do so. I’ve never seen a child get ‘hammered’ in court. Kids are so very rarely given harsh sentences these days because we’ve learned that out of court disposals are often more effective.

If you’ve seen someone given a harsher sentence because of bad publicity, and the mitigation that they were ‘exceptionally vulnerable’ has not been taken into account, then they’d have a great case to appeal their sentence.

I’ve only ever seen negative social media coverage brought up in mitigation - because it’s had a dreadful effect on the defendant. Most judges discount it.

If they weren't acting feral they wouldn't get posted online.

I think it's a horrible thing to do to 'shame' people on facebook, and only the worst kind of people do it IME. The ones who want all the attention and all the glory, and all the 'fanx 4 flagging this up hun' comments. Utter attention seeking nobs. Taking pics of a few 'naughty' children and posting them on facebook! How pathetic. Kids are naughty sometimes, get over it. If someone had ever taken a photo of MY kids and posted them on facebook, they'd have been fucking sorry.

I hate the ones who take a photo of someone's car and post that too. Number plate and everything.. With 'this arsehole overtook me at 10 mph over the speed limit today' written under the photo (or something else as pointless and annoying.)

What do these people expect people to do?

One woman got her arse handed to her on a plate a few months ago. She had parked in a parking space, and she was 5-6 inches over the line (back into the space behind.) Some person parked behind her shortly after, and they had parked really close to her - 1 inch from her bumper - but they were in their space properly!

She took a photo (WITH the other driver's numberplate,) and said 'who did THIS? Look at this AWFUL driving. Blah blah blah!!!' (On the town's facebook page.) She got DOZENS of posts saying 'you're the bad driver you silly cow. All we can see is the other driver parked properly and YOU parked 6 inches over the line into the space behind ha haha!' 😆 The admin on the page wouldn't delete it for her. (They rarely delete,) and all she could do could turn off commenting. There were 50-odd shirty, sarcy comments before she did it though LOL! Made herself look like an utter twat.

fair enough, I respect and get your point! But around where i live (think small inbred village) we know these kids are not in the care system xx

I know, it's like MN's favourite buzzword.

I've seen videos being used as evidence but the video didn't contain the full information. I don't want to say too much about it because it was big profile at the time but it had a significant impact. The other issue is the knock on impact on the wider community. In the part of the UK I'm in if something like this was posted online identifying the young person you'd have a group of men knocking your door and telling you to move house very sharpish. Or as I've seen happen stubbing their cigarettes out on the young person by way of warning. That limits the areas that child can then go on to live and work in as they get older. I've seen it happen where the family couldn't afford to move so that young person has effectively had to go into care or supported living because they aren't allowed in their own community any more. So yes safeguarding is important and at the end of the day we're talking about CHILDREN.

I think it's a horrible thing to do to 'shame' people on facebook, and only the worst kind of people do it IME. Agree with this.

I think adults shaming children/young people online is unacceptable.

There's a lot of frustration around now, due to Tory cuts there is very little police response to antisocial behaviour, but I still don't like this approach.

I think it's a horrible thing to do to 'shame' people on facebook, and only the worst kind of people do it IME. The ones who want all the attention and all the glory, and all the 'fanx 4 flagging this up hun' comments. Utter attention seeking nobs. Taking pics of a few 'naughty' children and posting them on facebook! How pathetic. Kids are naughty sometimes, get over it. If someone had ever taken a photo of MY kids and posted them on facebook, they'd have been fucking sorry.

Don't you sound delightful?

I know someone who was publicly shamed on FB during lockdown for “breaking the rules and mixing households” (out on a walk). Photograph included.

She was furious as a) it was just one household (large family) and b) she kept her children’s images off social media yet a random stranger felt it was appropriate to upload to a public group.

Next the word "vulnerable' be added in here on Mumsnet Bingo of overused words

It might shock their parents to actually do something about it

If they’re old enough to use the language f…ing c… in every sentence and bold enough to repeatedly throw balls at my car then they are old enough to be recorded and shamed on social media! Safeguarding and vulnerable, my arse!!!!!!

Quite,
But it's everyone else's fault innit remember 🙄🙄

No it’s useful when there is a spate of incidents to see if it’s the same child or not. It then means action can be taken once they know who it is and can contact school etc.

We have huge issues with a group of 4 young teenagers, the mother just defends them but they are not being “naughty” they are making the town centre a no go zone.

If you are in public you have no expectation of privacy. If you don’t want to appear online then don’t behave in a way that people feel the need to take photos. If you break the law expect to be treated like a criminal, not a “naughty child”, teenagers are old enough to know the difference and face the consequences.

I think it depends on your definition of “unruly “ , people have posted pictures from our town of young teenagers with bolt cutters stealing bikes . They didn’t feel safe to confront them , but wanted people to know what had happened. If the teens are doing something like that I don’t see an issue . There have been a couple of similar cases where property and also a dog have been reunited following such posts , never due to parent or carer intervention though .

The problem is, people take photos and post incorrect information. It becomes trial by Facebook. Have seen it happen with adults as well - sometimes the person complained about gets involved in the chat and gives a different version of events. But their name has already been dragged through the mud.

I am on the side of the pp's saying they shouldn't have been doing it in the first place. Never too young to learn actions have consequences and am pleased the parents dealt with it.

I couldn't care less if they have their photos plastered all over social media. There aren't consequences now if you're going to behave like a twat so this is an effective one.