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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To quit my job

41 replies

chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:32

DS has SEN. He starts school in Sept. There are induction days and I think it’s highly they’ll ask him start reception part-time.

I work part time. I feel like my line manager is trying to push me out of her area. I’m going to be used ‘as and where needed’ next year. Very vague and today no one knew what I was supposed to be doing when I went in. Current line manager won’t be my line manager in Sept. I don’t know who is.

If DS is part time (this will best suit his needs), I’ll need to change my current work hours in order to pick him up. He’ll also need to go to breakfast club. Working out his induction days around work will be tricky. And I have no idea who to ask about changing my hours or whether it’s ok, as no one know what I’m doing!

I don’t feel valued, wanted or needed at work. However the hours are currently working well, and I don’t work school holidays. The income is fairly significant and things will be tight if I quit. I was called to a meeting last week and thought I was going to be made redundant. However that didn’t happen - I was simply told I’d be working the same hours in Sept. Were they hoping I may chose to quit? Or could they still make me redundant?

I could resign and then look for a new job once DS has hopefully settled in? I feel I need to be around for DS.

Or - should I stick with my job and hopefully things will fall into place??

OP posts:
mycoffeecup · 20/06/2023 21:33

Do you have a partner/husband/wife - do they work? who is the higher earner? could you both go part time?

Beenawhilesinceacupoftea · 20/06/2023 21:34

You are not unreasonable to feel this but I would urge you to consider it very carefully. A well paid part time job is basically gold dust.

Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:34

Thanks @mycoffeecup DP is the high earner. He can help with some of the induction.

OP posts:
TeenagersAngst · 20/06/2023 21:36

I think you're conflating two situations. If you loved your job, would you be considering quitting?

Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:37

@Beenawhilesinceacupoftea yes. It is a well paid part time job. It would be very hard to come by another. I think they are regretting taking me on. It’s not nice feeling like a spare part and not valued. But maybe I should suck it up!

OP posts:
SchoolShenanigans · 20/06/2023 21:37

Do you mean they'll be part time for a week or two, or forever? Children are legally required to be in school full time the term after they turn 5, so depending on when your child turns 5, he won't be able to be part time for long.

I would stay at the job. It sounds like you'll be under the radar so should be able to be flexible? And if not, you can always quit then. Do you get paid for the summer? If so, don't quit before then!

Teleguard · 20/06/2023 21:39

I think they would make you redundant if they wanted so I would stick with it but explore other options

Starwarslover · 20/06/2023 21:39

Dont quit until you have something else to go to. Especially as you don’t work school holidays and it’s well paid.

Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:41

I don’t know - I’ve never heard or really considered a part time start to reception. But the school discussed it, and I’m sure they’ll say part time will best suit DS. I guess it would be until the term they turn 5.

OP posts:
mycoffeecup · 20/06/2023 21:41

You say DP - so you're not married? Do not downsize your earning potential by one penny without a wedding or civil partnership.

Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:45

DS’s SEN is significant. He has an EHCP and I think he is going to find reception very tricky. So I feel some guilt over enrolling him into breakfast club - which he’ll have to do.

OP posts:
JackieWeaveristheboss · 20/06/2023 21:45

Would it be possible for you or your husband to book some annual leave over the first few weeks of the term to help him transition into school? How significant are your son’s needs? Is he at nursery now?

JackieWeaveristheboss · 20/06/2023 21:49

Sorry crossed post. If he already has an EHCP what funding/ support is in place for him? Have you had a meeting with the SENDCo and class teacher to discuss levels of support?

Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:49

He’s at preschool and coping fine. The preschool are very SEN orientated. DS has speech and language needs, so doesn’t really know or understand that he’s going to reception. But he’s very calm and obedient so I don’t think he’ll be upset about starting school.

OP posts:
Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:51

Yes. The school were going to say they couldn’t meet his needs - but they met him, and chatted with his preschool. He’s mainstream with 20hrs support.

OP posts:
autieawesome · 20/06/2023 21:52

chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:45

DS’s SEN is significant. He has an EHCP and I think he is going to find reception very tricky. So I feel some guilt over enrolling him into breakfast club - which he’ll have to do.

School club may not accept him if they feel they can't support need. My ds has 24 hours of one to one a week. But can not have additional support in holiday club so they can't manage him in ratios.

Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 21:53

That’s a good point about breakfast club…

OP posts:
autieawesome · 20/06/2023 21:54

Are you claiming dla? You can get carers too although there's a earnings threshold (£130 per week I think)

JackieWeaveristheboss · 20/06/2023 21:54

I would hold off on resigning then as it sounds like the basics are in place. You would honestly be shocked with the number of children that start school with significant needs and no support at all!
I would have a chat with the school to sound out their expectations. Are all of the children in full time from day 1 or is there a phased start?

Merryoldgoat · 20/06/2023 21:55

It’s tricky OP.

I have two boys with additional needs and I have a well paid part time job too.

However I have an exceptional manager who basically leaves me to it with my boys and their various appointments.

He let me take a course during work hours to help my older boy and has never made me feel guilty for the weeks shit kicks off.

If I didn’t have the support and flexibility I couldn’t stay.

Houseplantmad · 20/06/2023 21:55

I’d hold off resigning. Could you or your DP take parental leave to get DS underway in the new setting?

Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 22:02

I’ve just applied for DLA. The EHCP/Breakfast Club place is a very good point because with no Breakfast Club - I won’t be able to work. I REALLY pushed for the EHCP and almost wish I’d waited as DS being flagged up seems to put the barriers up before he’s started. If he’d just gone in through a mainstream application I’d be having less issues.

OP posts:
Bromptotoo · 20/06/2023 22:04

Round here, when mine were 4, kids did half day in reception as a matter of course until October half term. Just to make it more fun they were split into two groups; am and pm changing over after 3 or 4 weeks.

Mrs Bt was teaching part time locally, I could WFH if necessary and we had Granny and friends in same boat. It was still a PITA.

JackieWeaveristheboss · 20/06/2023 22:06

It’s amazing that you have got and EHCP at such a young age as the threshold is so difficult and lots get rejected.
The school have a duty of care for him and the fact you gave funding in place is a positive. Is he doing full time hours at preschool at the moment?

Original poster
chaffinch32456 · 20/06/2023 22:09

Yes - it is great that he’s got it, I know it’s a real struggle to get one. Just the timing is that it was finalised and voided his mainstream right at the end of May. I’ve had a stressful couple of weeks ensuring he has a school place.

OP posts:
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