To keep "trying" when it could clash with sisters wedding?

[WoolyAndYug]

I am 38 and trying for DC2. First month and this month nothing happened. If I try next month the rough due date will be the same day as my sisters wedding which is in Devon (we are in London).

I love my sister and am so excited about her wedding and she is super excited too. Would you miss a month just in case or crack on and work around things? I know the chances of me falling pregnant are probably slim but that's why I want to try each month! If I do get pregnant and have a due date like that I know she would be nice but probably disappointed and feel like I'd stolen her thunder as well.

My age is what's scaring me into thinking every opportunity is precious.

At your age ( sorry !) I’d keep trying.

Don't stop ttc on timings that's daft!

I know people who were pregnant at 38/39/40/42. I would wait just for that month as a one off.

In my world, you're way way overthinking this. If you're hoping to get pregnant keep at it, hopefully enjoy it even if you're trying in the time honoured way. There's a slim chance you'll go into labour at her wedding but really, there's a lot of leeway in due dates and cross that bridge if you come to it. Good luck :)

How would she feel knowing you were wasting your fertility on the 'might' and that might be your one chance?

If she's your sister and she cares for you, she would understand how much this means to you and that you aren't deliberately trying to scupper her wedding.

If she's the type to throw her toys out the pram over it, she's also not worth wasting your emotional energy trying to please by not trying this month.

Just get on with it...

There is no way I would delay any of my life plans for someone’s wedding.

Well, unless you stopped TTC from now until the wedding- you might be at any stage of pregnancy for it!!!

Having been there at 38 and older TTC- I would keep trying. Best of luck.

It's one month, it really won't make a difference to your chances of conceiving if you hold off one or two months. Chances are it'll take anything from 1-12 months to fall pregnant, like most people trying. I know so many women who've had babies at 38 no problem, unless you have a specific reason to be concerned beyond age, I wouldn't panic.

I guess there's a difference between being pregnant at a wedding and due to give birth at the time of the wedding.

In a nicest way, you don't know what will happen in 9 months, the wedding may as well be off. Don't put such an important life plans off. Good luck OP!

Do not stop trying! Just keep having regular doing of the deed right the way through your cycle every month. Try not to focus too much on timings - stress and overthinking not ideal for ttc! If you are pregnant for the wedding it will be lovely.
Do not worry in any way shape or form about "stealing her thunder". Your grown women not juveniles!
Best of luck :) x

You do not put off TTC for anything that isn't life threatening. You may always wonder what if. Also babies are late and early. No guarantee either way.

On your deathbed which would you regret more: never having children, knowing you threw away some chances to try for them, or missing your sister's wedding day

I'd probably skip a month, tbh. Maybe two, as the next month you could have only very recently given birth.

38 is hardly ancient, 38 year olds have babies all the time. Yes it's probably going to take a bit longer than when you were 25, but equally you're not 45.

Don't waste your chances.

Please try for a baby. I have been trying for my second since 38- 4 years later still no second baby. If you were 28 I would say wait but don't put your plans on hold for a wedding.

I would wait for that month in case I had the baby on her wedding day

She has a child already and there's no reason to think she'll struggle this time. She's only on cycle 2.

How dramatic are you?!

And this is her sister's wedding, hardly any other day. Personally I'd want to be there, even if it meant delaying having another child by a month or two.

I would have gone to a wedding heavily pregnant if we weren't in lockdown but then I was doing pretty heavy exercise right the way through mine. Not a humble brag, just a reminder that you can still do things when you are pregnant, we aren't in Tudor times any more when pregnant ladies were confined to bed rest!

1 month wont make any difference to your fertility. For the sake of one month, I'd hold off

Keep trying. Even if you waited a month or two and then fell pregnant you could give birth early, be having a difficult pregnancy, have morning sickness etc. Unless you’re planning on stopping trying until after the wedding )which sounds bonkers to be there doesn’t seem much point in trying to be so precise.

Keep trying. Spoken as someone who missed my best friends wedding as I was giving birth. She got it, we worked through it. We had a bizarre Skype (yeah I'm old) call in the morning with me in my contractions and her in her wedding makeup. Life happens. X

I don't know if I'd stop trying because of wedding but saying that, I would have stopped trying to avoid a July/August born baby as my first was late August and I found her being so small starting school really difficult. I was only 27 at the time though so would've taken my chances.
Also, my cousin was induced on my sisters wedding day. She really didn't mind at all and was thrilled for them, especially as they'd lost 2 babies.

I’d skip this one month then crack on again next month.

Just bear in mind you might want to pause for 2 months as you won't be wanting to take a newborn to Devon either.