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Original poster

To keep "trying" when it could clash with sisters wedding?

43 replies

WoolyAndYug · 20/06/2023 21:23

I am 38 and trying for DC2. First month and this month nothing happened. If I try next month the rough due date will be the same day as my sisters wedding which is in Devon (we are in London).

I love my sister and am so excited about her wedding and she is super excited too. Would you miss a month just in case or crack on and work around things? I know the chances of me falling pregnant are probably slim but that's why I want to try each month! If I do get pregnant and have a due date like that I know she would be nice but probably disappointed and feel like I'd stolen her thunder as well.

My age is what's scaring me into thinking every opportunity is precious.

OP posts:
Finderskeepers90 · 20/06/2023 21:53

I was in a similar position last year, but I ended up falling pregnant and feeling very guilty about it (although my sister was so lovely about it) only to loose my beautiful little girl at 25weeks. I don't say this to upset but that you never know what is around the corner and you have to do what is right for you, at the time, the world works in mysterious ways ♥️

similarminimer · 20/06/2023 21:56

I'm sure she'd rather a niece or nephew than a wedding photo.

ShadowPuppets · 20/06/2023 21:58

If you were 38 on cycle 6+ I’d say crack on but at cycle 2 I think I’d take the ‘risk’ for the wedding.

CatsMcGoo · 20/06/2023 22:02

People saying “skip 2 months because you don’t want to take a newborn to a wedding” 😂

Orangetang · 20/06/2023 22:04

Some of the replies on here are batshit (to me). Don’t try because you might give birth near her wedding date but a month later is ok? WTF? so you’d be 8 mo pregnant at the wedding and might give birth early?

RIDICULOUS. Try now.

OrwellianTimes · 20/06/2023 22:06

Crack on. It’s perfectly possible to go to a wedding heavily pregnant or with a newborn. Maybe not whilst in active labour, you might steal the limelight there.

OrwellianTimes · 20/06/2023 22:09

OrwellianTimes · 20/06/2023 22:06

Crack on. It’s perfectly possible to go to a wedding heavily pregnant or with a newborn. Maybe not whilst in active labour, you might steal the limelight there.

For reference I’ve done both. Went to family wedding 4 hours away at 38 weeks. Went to family wedding with two week old after a bad c-section. Both exhausting and a bit mad but fine.

LaMaG · 20/06/2023 22:13

I skipped a month TTC as my sis was getting married abroad, At worst I would have been 7 months along, it didn't happen in that time anyhow so wasn't relevant. It was France so flight travel wouldn't have been an issue if i was pg. What did annoy me was my 2 sisters constantly joking about how they hoped I wasn't trying and how awful would it be to have a pg bridesmaid or a newborn at the wedding etc so I obviously didn't tell them. I thought they were ridiculous. But I am so glad I was at my sisters wedding, missing would have been awful and not gone down well believe me

JanesBlond · 20/06/2023 22:14

I’d keep trying. You might wait 2 months only to have the baby come 2 months early. Just keep trying and you’ll cross that bridge when you come to it!

Perry13579 · 20/06/2023 22:16

If it's important for you to be there, I would hold off for a month. It's would be tricky enough to be there at 36wks pregnant or with a 2-4 week old baby - but those situations you could work around.

If you were to get pregnant next month meaning that you are 40 weeks pregnant on the wedding day, you're simply not going to be able to travel to the wedding (unless the baby has made an appearance a couple of weeks early).

Rightnowstraightaway · 20/06/2023 22:22

Personally wouldn't wait, but it took me two years to conceive starting at 38.

Xmasbaby11 · 20/06/2023 22:25

I would miss a month tbh but only one month.

Peachy2005 · 20/06/2023 22:25

Keep trying…that could be the magic egg and you would never know if you missed your chance.

Ingrowncrotchhair · 20/06/2023 22:28

I can’t even believe this is a thing

do people care this much about weddings IRL or is this a MN thing? I’ve honestly never seen this wedding madness IRL like what I read on here sometimes

Violasaremyfavourite · 20/06/2023 22:29

I wouldn't wait given your age. You get 12 chances a year and nothing would make me throw away a month and the chance of a baby for the joy of attending a wedding for one day at 8 months pregnant.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 20/06/2023 22:29

If you’re fertile you’ll conceive sooner or later, one month isn’t going to make a massive difference.

LaMaG · 20/06/2023 22:52

Ingrowncrotchhair · 20/06/2023 22:28

I can’t even believe this is a thing

do people care this much about weddings IRL or is this a MN thing? I’ve honestly never seen this wedding madness IRL like what I read on here sometimes

It's not wedding madness fussing about make up or shoes, its being at your sisters wedding. Which I'm sure is not only important to OP and sister but other family members too.

Fruitflylady · 20/06/2023 22:57

I had the same issue, but we’d been trying for over 2 years already (secondary infertility). We had a brief discussion about whether to stop trying for the month that would have put my due date a few days after my sister’s wedding. We decided to carry on regardless and amazingly that was the month I got pregnant! I ended up giving a speech at the wedding within days of my due date. We stayed up until the first dance then sloped off to bed. DS hung on for another 11 days before being dragged out of me very unwillingly 😄
I think it was the fact I was almost not wanting to get pregnant that month that made my body relax enough to allow it to happen in the end. My sister and family were all absolutely fine with it, and delighted for us.

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