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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can a 4 month old baby play alone?

55 replies

Sistersisterrr · 20/06/2023 18:45

I am at home with my 4 month old baby and feel like I’m constantly on the go and trying to entertain them and exhausted. We do walks, classes etc - all naps are contact (trying to move to the cot) and play time on a mat / mobile.

When my husband is in charge he makes it look easier - baby in bouncer facing away from the tv or a cloth over the mobile so the baby can’t see the screen and he chills and watches cricket / football. He says our baby needs to learn to be independent.

Is that lazy or would it be OK if I did it too? I don’t just mean for 10 minutes while I do a load of washing but to watch a full tv show? I’d feel so guilty but not sure if I am being OTT.

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 20/06/2023 18:47

What does he do if the baby cries?

Original poster
Sistersisterrr · 20/06/2023 18:48

@GrazingSheep obviously he doesn’t ignore them and doesn’t leave the room.

OP posts:
SuperSonicAyeAye · 20/06/2023 18:49

I could with my older DC, definitely not the younger. I would encourage a bit of independence tbh, good for them to explore the world on their own terms and parents and helps as they get older.

Hugasauras · 20/06/2023 18:50

It's fine. I didn't do constant entertaining with either at 4mo. Maybe some songs and some play and then I would do my own thing for a bit. Babies certainly don't need constant interaction! If they're happy sitting or lying on a playmat or batting at toys in bouncer then leave them to it. I try not interrupt independent play!

LittleBearPad · 20/06/2023 18:50

Why is the screen covered up?

Of course it would be ok. You’re being a bit of a martyr here.

Guavafish1 · 20/06/2023 18:50

I think you need to chill out

Lammveg · 20/06/2023 18:50

I think as long as you respond to your baby if they're crying/fussing etc (which I'm sure you would), engage with them lots during the rest of the day and don't watch excessive amounts of TV it'll be fine.

I feel the same re always feeling on the go. There's no way my 5month old would stay relaxed longer than 10minutes without interaction though lol. I use the contact naps to watch tv/chill out.

yeahscience · 20/06/2023 18:50

Your being OTT.

But I also wouldn't be bothering with covering them with a muslin, that's also OTT.

mynameiscalypso · 20/06/2023 18:50

I watched a lot of TV when DS was that age. They don't need constant stimulation and he was happy in his bouncer or on his play mat. You can't really entertain a 4 month old. Anything you do is more for your own benefit/sanity than anything else.

Hugasauras · 20/06/2023 18:51

Oh and I got through entire box sets when on mat leave with both! Neither of mine were interested in the TV as young babies anyway.

VisionsOfSplendour · 20/06/2023 18:51

He doesn't actually put a cloth over his phone does he? Is that a thing nowadays?

My children are much older now but as small babies I certainly didn't do stuff with them all day, your life sounds very tiring

Can't the baby sit and watch you or lie on the floor?

mynameiscalypso · 20/06/2023 18:51

Oh and I never covered the screen. DS seemed to enjoy Masterchef Australia a lot.

LittleBearPad · 20/06/2023 18:53

Mine liked the Formula 1. They used to drive on DH’s lap.

YoureAMeanOneMrGrinch · 20/06/2023 18:53

Everything is fun to look at at this age. My son is 4.5 months and he's quite happy playing on his mat by himself. I will interact with him for a bit but he's happy to be left to it. He's not a fan of just sitting in his bounder unless he's napping but at this age he doesn't demand my attention

Original poster
Sistersisterrr · 20/06/2023 18:54

Okay thanks all 😃I did say I might be being OTT but I am new to this. I will chill out.

I thought babies weren’t allowed screen time and ours will always try and watch tv if they can see the screen hence covering it!

OP posts:
AIBU123456789 · 20/06/2023 18:54

Of course it is fine, you are being completely OTT and so is your dp covering his screen.

JulieHoney · 20/06/2023 18:54

I’m confused as to which voting option is which, but…

4 month olds do not need constant stimulation. He can sit in his bouncy chair and you can chat to him while you do other things, or he can spend 10 minutes working out how to eat his toe and other crazy bendy things babies do as they learn their own bodies. He doesn’t need endless interaction with you or he’ll never learn how to entertain himself.

HousePlantNeglect · 20/06/2023 18:56

At that age they literally just need to see your happy face as you tuck into a cuppa and another episode of that ever tv show you are binge watching.

Original poster
Sistersisterrr · 20/06/2023 18:57

To be clear my husband doesn’t with a cloth over his mobile phone! I meant like this!

Can a 4 month old baby play alone?
OP posts:
Sapphire387 · 20/06/2023 18:57

OP, in the kindest way, you are making a rod for your own back and you will probably look back on this and laugh at yourself. You're overthinking it. Your baby will let you know if they are bored or unhappy.

converseandjeans · 20/06/2023 18:58

It depends on the baby - DD at that age would play & entertain herself but DS used to get bored after about 5 mins. Your DH doesn't sound neglectful tbh

Hotandverybotheredagain · 20/06/2023 19:03

Cannot remember with my children but granddaughter definitely spent a good 20 mins under baby gym a few times a day !

Smartiepants79 · 20/06/2023 19:04

4 months! They don’t really play, independently or otherwise. And they don’t really need entertainment either! You would hope they can lie on a mat or in a bouncer for a short period of time and be happy. Other than that they just need different things to look at through the day and they’re good. Most of their day should still just be eating and sleeping!

mindutopia · 20/06/2023 19:05

Honestly, I'm not sure I really 'played with' mine at all at 4 months. If not sleeping or eating or in the car or being held, they sat in the bouncer watching me load the dishwasher.

riotlady · 20/06/2023 19:10

Yeah ofc, constant stimulation can be overwhelming! If they’re happy to lie on their playmat for a bit or in a bouncer and stare out the window then leave them be. Remember they’ve literally never seen the world before, watching the branches on a tree will be fucking fascinating to them

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