DP says DD can never have eye lash extensions when she grows up.. but it's ok to pierce a toddlers ears

[OffensiveEyelash]

I sometimes get my lashes done and when I do my DD age 4 notices and says she wants hers to look like that too, it's harmless interest on her part (she asks for everything!) and of course I explain that they're not suitable for children and that's that.

I arrived home today, with lash extensions, and DD who's sitting with her dad.. makes the same comment.

I said to her, within ear shot of her dad, that when she's 16 if she wants them then I'll consider taking her but that's not for a very long time.

He went off on a rant about how she's never having them done, not on his watch, he doesn't want her making herself look older than what she is and it'll start with lashes then end up with cosmetic surgery (??!)

It was clear as day he was accusing me of setting a bad example to DD.

I suggested he save some of that energy for his other child's mother who has been trying to make their child look older ever since birth, piercing her ears as a baby, wearing hoops and dangling ear rings by 2 and having the poor girl stumble around in wedged sandals a size too big on days out where lots of walking is involved just because she thinks it looks nice.

AIBU to think he's got a nerve?

Are you meant to wear a bin bag and look shit just to please him? If you like your lashes you should have them. He sounds like one of those who's daughter will not be allowed to go a date till she's 54!

Sounds like he is picking the wrong fight.

The double standards are so frustrating. I can't believe he has the nerve to say things like this to me, with such conviction, yet endorses his other daughters mother to do whatever she likes to/with the DD. If he was level across the table atleast I could respect that but the disparity is staggering.

It's all hypothetical in this case as DD might never want to get her lashes done at 16 ffs.

Yeah that would annoy me

You ever think he’s acting overprotective because he clearly has no control over how his ex treats his other daughter?

Haha well he's in for a shock when she's a teenager then 🤣

I hope you didn't 'suggest' all that in front of your 4 year old child?

He is of course BU.

I'm getting incel vibes.

What's his problem with lashes specifically? Is he one of those blokes who thinks any make up or artifice is 'cheating'?
Did he completely disregard looks when looking for his own partner then? Going solely on personality? Did he fuck

Look, I'd love to live in a vacuum where women didn't feel the need for make up, jewellery, boob jobs etc. But we live in the real world where girls are judged by men and boys (no doubt your husband too) for not meeting beauty standards. Denying a teenager beauty armour to navigate misogyny is a bit cruel in my book. Yes I'd encourage a natural confidence, but I'm aware that's a little tricky when teen boys follow you around and call you ugly, minging etc and don't begrudge girls a mask to hide behind.

I mean, basically I think your husband is a dick and a hypocrite. Commiserations.
And of he said that in front of her and put you down like that even worse.

Do you bring back all your fights to his ex-wife and the way she's with his other child?

That's completely out of order. I feel sorry for your kid. Stick with your own business, his ex-wife has nothing to do with you. Maybe remember there's a reason why they're not together right now?

Ugh. Does he think his daughter is his possession? Yuck.

Well when she's 18 she can do as she pleases.

So a Dad, understandably upset at the idea of his 4 year old daughter already wanting cosmetic enhancement (and the mother encouraging it) is now an incel and controlling?

This

How are fake eyelashes in any way harmful?!
They come right off. Like hair dye and make up.
I thought the puritans all went off the US to get eaten by bears or something.

He better start preparing for a future of no relationship with his daughter if he thinks he has a right to police her body.

I don’t think you need to worry about it. It’s 12 years away and already now fake lashes, fake nails, fake brows etc are unfashionable. There might be something else in 12 years time she’ll want to do, but there’s no point in starting to fight about that already.

If she is pale skinned/ white then he should be warned of a much greater issue ahead. Don't know about where you live but around here teenage girls turn orange.

He is being a dick, he'll soon learn no one cares what he thinks. Enjoy your lashes OP or whatever else you do to feel good about yourself.

She has my colouring and I'm as white as a ghost 😁

I have nothing but failed attempts at fake tan in my early 20's. Is it just me or does it never 'work' on the very pale? It only ever looked dirty on me. I quickly gave up on that one.

No I didn't mention DSD's mother and her parenting choices infront of DD, she was in the garden at that point. I was seething about his tangent for ten minutes or so before I responded.

Anybody who claims not to see the hypocrisy would be lying. Don't endorse all sorts of fuckery like that, but then have a go at me for making a throw away comment about something that may never materialise, in 10+ years time.

It's either acceptable for your children to play about with their appearance or it's not.

And why would he have no control over what his ex does with their daughter? He's on the BC and has rights. He can oppose things.

And if its up to her what she does with her DD then surely its up to me what I do with my DD too.

Double standards.

Well done for being so superior to ‘the other child’s’ mother.

Well clearly I'm not because according to him I'm setting a bad example to my DD for having my lashes done...

There is a 2 year-old going around in wedge sandals and hoop earrings??? Where is this?

I agree with you OP. It's double standards and out of order.

Double standards.

is it? Does the other child spends 50% of her life at your home? It's still more than your own who is there full time. How can he have the same parenting role when he has one child full time, and the other "part-time"?

Don't endorse all sorts of fuckery like that
Does he?

It doesn't matter if you are right and wrong in this argument, but bringing his ex-wife and other child in the mix already is not healthy. Nothing to do with you. His ex-wife has no say over the way you both raise her child's half-sister, you have no say over the way she parents.