AIBU to be cross at driving instructor probing son’s sexuality?

[NoseyDI]

Name changed because son isn’t out to whole family.

He’s passed now, so doesn’t have to see her again, but he just told me his driving instructor had been asking his friends (who she also teaches) if he’s gay. She asked if he had a partner: “boyfriend, or girlfriend, or boyfriend…?” I’m really cross and tempted to phone her and tell her just how inappropriate this is.

Very unprofessional. Very gossipy. Not what I would expect either OP - if friend's version of events is correct. They might be enjoying the "drama" of it all.

If she repeated the boyfriend part of the question she's probably already realised he's gay.

Btw, your family have probably already realised too.

Btw, your family have probably already realised too.

Probably. I’ve been pretty certain since he was little. But it’s up to him when he tells people. It’s a big deal to him, even though nobody he’s told has had any kind of bad reaction.

Oh she did did she aye.

It comes down to professionalism. Speaking about a client to other clients is clearly not acceptable. The 'gay' element is almost irrelevant.

I would absolutely be ringing her and spelling this out.

You haven'y mentioned one word about your son's views on this! It's all about what you think! Do you think as a grown man he iws going to be pleased at Mummy wading in on his behalf?

He really doesn’t like her as a result (I mentioned that!) and if I were planning to phone her I’d certainly check with him first.

Sounds like all the kids and parents are gossiping and bitching about this woman.

I doubt the other teens have mentioned it to their parents unless they’ve learned of the driving instructor talking about them in questionable ways. My DS had just mentioned in passing that she was ‘problematic’, then the subject came up this morning and I asked him how she was problematic.

Presumably she doesn't know that he only came out recently.
You are overreacting.
Other people in his life will ask this question OP. It's not sinister.

Then don't use her 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think you should email her directly and inform her it has made you and your son feel uncomfortable also tell her about his friends telling you about her gossiping.

She may think she’s being friendly. At least if she knows she’s creeping her students out she can change.