Page 4 | To think after school club straight away when DD joins school is too much?

Sadmadsleepy · 2023-06-19T21:07:10+00:00

DD is starting in reception at a local infants school this September. Currently, she attends her preschool 4 days a week and does an after school club two days with others from her preschool. DH and I are looking at diaries for September to work out juggling jobs around childcare. I think she should just attend her normal school hours for at least the first few weeks and that throwing in after school club early on us a bit much for her. This will of course impact on work schedules. For context; -DH is self employed and we will loose money when he has to finish early. I have a fairly full on job. Might be able to negotiate a little flexibility. -The after school club at DDs new school is run in the junior school next door. -DD is the only one joining her school from her preschool so will not have friends initially, and will certainly not know anyone in after school club. YABU - it is what it is, if she needs to go to after school club for childcare, she’ll be fine. YANBU - that’s all too much!!

bussteward · 20/06/2023 16:40

daffodilandtulip · 20/06/2023 07:24

Around here, you're already too late to make that decision, they're all full

This sort of thing terrified me so I checked this week with the school DD is starting at in September; they laughed kindly and said it’s never full and can be booked 24 hours in advance if needed. So it really depends, thank goodness!

daffodilandtulip · 20/06/2023 16:47

@bussteward that's really good! You're lucky!

bussteward · 20/06/2023 16:48

@daffodilandtulip We’re in a very undersubscribed district where everyone got their first choice of school! Waiting for the other shoe to drop…

CaptainJackSparrow85 · 20/06/2023 17:03

Sadmadsleepy · 19/06/2023 22:39

Thanks for all the responses. Interesting that most so far seem fine coming down on the YABU side. I have quite an emotive reaction to the thought of her being overwhelmed and friendless in ASC 🫣
Maybe I’m letting that colour things a bit too much.

Doesn't help that I’m having serious mum guilt over separating her from her buddies for school.

I’ll also enquire re ASC spaces - don’t want to miss out if super full.

Definitely enquire before making any decisions. At our school the ASC is hugely oversubscribed - you have to book for the days you want the second your child’s school place is awarded. There’s absolutely no flexibility to be picking up extra days during the school year, unless another parent cancels/wants to move days etc.

It’ll probably be fine if you’re happy to pay for the ASC and not use it (that’s what one of my friends who’s on maternity leave till January is having to do - pay for a term of ASC she doesn’t need in order to ensure there’s a space in Jan). But if your DH will be losing money in order to pick her up early then you might have to work out whether you’re happy to do that.

Finally, I think we as parents can project an our own feelings and anxieties onto our children, especially when it comes to starting school. That’s not a criticism, I definitely do it and I think lots of people do. I think this is partly about your guilt, anxiety, maybe even some of your own memories from school. She won’t be alone and friendless crying in a corner. She’ll make friends really easily - they do at that age. And she’ll most likely have a really good time.

RuthW · 20/06/2023 17:09

It will be worse if she's not there for the first few weeks. She will find it harder to settle in.

RuthW · 20/06/2023 17:11

I would think the ASC would be fully booked by now anyway.

WeightoftheWorld · 20/06/2023 17:15

I think YABU, definitely wouldn't pick to lose money for it (as you said thats what would happen if DH couldn't work his usual hours). She will settle quickly, I'd prioritise him taking time off during the school hols than term time.

Baba197 · 20/06/2023 17:19

My sons school doesn’t allow yr r to do after school clubs- they can do
the breakfast/after school wrap around care but not things like karate ballet etc. if you are working and need the care then it can’t be helped and they will adjust but if it’s just the “fun” clubs then i
personally would wait as school us a lot more demanding than preschool

RidingMyBike · 20/06/2023 17:22

Mine went into wraparound 3 days a week from her first full day in school. She was used to longer days at nursery and we'd had to use up annual leave covering the settling in short chunks of time so no choice.

She was fine and really loved the 'privileges' it got her - eg access to a play area Reception didn't normally use! It also meant she made a wider range of friends who she then saw at break times.

thatsn0tmyname · 20/06/2023 17:28

Be honest. If she didn't go to after school club she'd come home and sit alone watching TV/an i-pad. May as well go to after school club and make new friends.

RidingMyBike · 20/06/2023 17:32

Conkersinautumn · 20/06/2023 07:09

It's a big change, it's unusual for children to really be in wraparound and school until more like 7. It's hugely different to a school class, children up to 11, little staff, little structure so kids can relax but not ideal for the youngest ones, they get lost in the mix

Opposite experience here - wraparound really common for Reception to about year 3 or 4.

Older primary aged children more likely to be collected at end of school by WFH parent who nipped out for them and then carried on working as child old enough to get own snacks and not need supervision. The 11 year olds have gate passes and make their own way home.

Scunnered123 · 20/06/2023 18:02

Mine all started at breakfast club and after school as soon as they started school. Didn't know anyone at school as they went to a different nursery. They all got in fine.

Oysterbabe · 20/06/2023 18:09

I agree with those saying it might be too late. We got our school place confirmed 2 minutes past midnight. I'd applied for afterschool club by 5 minutes past midnight.

Bax765 · 20/06/2023 18:39

We had a week of half days and then I started her in after school club the week after. I figured it was best for it to be something she was used to doing from the beginning. Turns out I needn't have worried anyway - she absolutely loves it and never wants to leave! I think she enjoys the time to wind down and do her own choice of activities before coming home.

No problems at all with capacity here luckily.

Grumpyfroghats · 20/06/2023 19:01

No issues here with spaces here either - you can even book on the day!

There are nursery kids in ASC here too so I think reception will be fine.

Both of mine really like ASC

Holilollybobs · 20/06/2023 20:15

My dd started reception last September, the ASC didn't run for reception kids in week 1 as they were doing a phased start but we started her the next week. She was used to 4 days at nursery until 6pm so when she started school she was miffed she couldn't stay there for dinner on days where we did pick her up at normal school finish time.
I also found that she's made nice friends with some of the older kids who do ASC and they look out for her at playtime and in the local park after school.

Ginandtonic1234 · 20/06/2023 20:50

My son started full time school and after school club every day in September and he was fine. They play and have a snack so he loves it. At home he’d probably be in front of the screen while I finish work/prep dinner whereas at after school club he plays with toys and plays outside.

What’s more, I’m pleased I did it because he has a place and many other parents who tried to book them in after a few weeks couldn’t get a place. Also, as far as he is concerned, playing for two hours after school is just part of the normal school day for him so he never moans about going.

Original poster

Sadmadsleepy · 20/06/2023 21:12

CaptainJackSparrow85 · 20/06/2023 17:03

Definitely enquire before making any decisions. At our school the ASC is hugely oversubscribed - you have to book for the days you want the second your child’s school place is awarded. There’s absolutely no flexibility to be picking up extra days during the school year, unless another parent cancels/wants to move days etc.

It’ll probably be fine if you’re happy to pay for the ASC and not use it (that’s what one of my friends who’s on maternity leave till January is having to do - pay for a term of ASC she doesn’t need in order to ensure there’s a space in Jan). But if your DH will be losing money in order to pick her up early then you might have to work out whether you’re happy to do that.

Finally, I think we as parents can project an our own feelings and anxieties onto our children, especially when it comes to starting school. That’s not a criticism, I definitely do it and I think lots of people do. I think this is partly about your guilt, anxiety, maybe even some of your own memories from school. She won’t be alone and friendless crying in a corner. She’ll make friends really easily - they do at that age. And she’ll most likely have a really good time.

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Thank you. that’s a really helpful post. I absolutely think there’s an element of putting my own worries into her! Especially with the separation from known friends.

She is a very articulate autumn born kiddie who is confident to talk to adults so is better set up to manage than many joining school! However, she can also find new scenarios a bit overwhelming though and is also a super tiny 4 year old so that’s where some worry comes from (and the sobbing in a friendless corner lol).

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Sadmadsleepy · 20/06/2023 21:20

Thanks for all the messages. Chat reply to all individually but some really good points.

I’ve emailed the ASC to get the lay of the land re booking/fullness. My general experience of local ASCs (I’ve worked in schools for quite a while!) is that they can get full certain days but have flexibility on others. We only need 2 days ASC and have a degree of flex on which ones so hoping it will be fine.

I also spoke with my boss today who is happy to support a bit of WFH flexibility the first few weeks, which is awesome. If we can make that work, and spaces not booked up, will give DD a couple of weeks to settle then crack on with ASC.

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