Clique at gym classes

[Ykn]

Not really an AIBU but posting for traffic.

The clique at the exercise classes at my gym are really spoiling it for me. They are a group of around 4 or 5 women who all know each other and the instructor who takes one of the classes, they save each other spaces at the class, stand in the same area of the studio each class, exclude others from their chats, glare and ignore newcomers, and even regulars who aren't in the clique.

One of them even looked at me like she was going to kill me when I arrived at a class last week.

I'm going to start looking for classes at different times, or a new gym.

How do you/would you handle such a clique in your exercise classes?

I have been in this situation. The problem is that those people spoil the class by dictating the spaces that others in the class can occupy. God help a newcomer if they innocently take one of these people’s spots. I once set up my weights etc for a class, turned my back and then realised that someone had moved them to the back because I was in “her spot”. If she had asked I would have given her the spot. They act as though they own the class when you have all paid exactly the same fees to do it. If anything like this is happening in your class I think you should move on and report the teacher who enables this behaviour to management. That’s what I did. The teacher grovelled and begged me to return, but I had had enough.

I would feel the same tbh. It’s pathetic for for adults to behave this way.

@Ykn your encounter in the morning class ?. That’s disgusting! They sound like they have a pathetic gang mentality.

Ignore. Poke your tongue out. These people are absurd.

what do you mean by “4months later”?
It happened yesterday.

Op, you can tell from some of the replies that people do think it’s ok to act like the gym is the playground.

Try and ignore them and enjoy your class.

Tbh for me, i don’t go to the gym to make friends. The most i do is return a smile but i’m straight in, straight out. I don’t engage, apart from with the class, really.

Just ignore it, couldn’t get worked up about this. All the glaring is very odd. I’d be mildly amused, past that you’re there for the class, it’s fine for them to be mates, so crack on and do your class.

I'm surprised by some of these reactions. Of course adults can and do behave abhorrently. Whether you call them a clique or a 'friendship group', if they're glaring at people, they're being bullies. I don't understand the motivation, though. Do you think they want the class all to themselves?

If I understand correctly, you're saying the instructor is friendly with this group? Otherwise, I'd consider saying something to them. You could at least leave an anonymous message, if possible, with the gym, explaining the problem. It's probably a waste of time, but I'd feel better getting it off my chest. (NB: Only do this if they won't be able to deduct by the process of elimination that you're the 'complainer'.)

The best option is to ignore them, but if they're honestly intimidating, I'd consider finding another class entirely.

Glaring at people is not being bullies. And just because someone thinks they are being glared at, it doesn't mean they are.

What do you actually think will happen if you go and tell the gym management that you're unhappy someone looked at you funny in a class?

I agree.

I have seen a few threads on here in this vein, often about school gate cliques. If any of these women are actually glaring then clearly they’ve some mental health problems. But it could be the op feels excluded from the friendship group and is envious they are all mates so is not reacting well.

Is it really a clique, or just a group of people who, y'know, know each other? Suspect you are reading way to much into it and they aren't, in fact, giving the evils to all and sundry. If they don't know you, why do you think they should be including you in anything?

Unless they are actually stopping you from participating, just go to the class and get on with it.

This is very interesting to me as I own a couple of fitness studios. The classes have the same capacity as yours.

At one point a culture had developed exactly like what you've described OP. Four or five women formed a little gang. They were obnoxious. They'd moan if it wasn't their favourite trainer, they'd refuse to share if it was partner work, they'd demand to know how many were booked in as they preferred when it was a smaller group. They would adopt some newbies but ignore others. They'd advise newbies to demand the early bird rate months after it had expired. If they missed a class they'd arrive unannounced to a later one and insist to the trainer it was ok to join.

I found them very unpleasant to deal with but thought I should rise above it. Then I found out other members were leaving as they didn't enjoy the atmosphere so I tackled it head on.

I retrained the trainers on how to manage the room. I disabled and deleted comments and made some announcements about studio rules. Two left of their own accord and I didn't try to change their minds. I spoke to two of them directly. One left furious. The other one I had to eject. No regrets.

If the owner or a manager is onsite have a word about how you love the classes but the atmosphere can be unpleasant.

It can be frustrating when gym cliques form, but just let them. You are there for yourself, and that’s all that matters. Any friendships you make along the way are just a bonus. Once you embrace this mindset, the right people will naturally gravitate toward you.