To desperately need a break from people

[Lemonfizzy]

I feel constantly overwhelmed by people. Everyone wants something from me constantly. And I have to pretend I'm happy and sociable around people all the time and fill all their needs. I just want to be quiet, have some space to read and not have to answer to anyone. I never get to relax at home and I'm always on edge. Aibu? Does anyone else feel like this or is there something wrong with me?

Also where could I escape and spend a few days on the cheap? And is it possible rent a private space for even just a few hours? (I saw about sleep pods in Japan you can rent for a couple of hours, sounds magical!)

Christ, me too. I need a two week break from my life.

Same!

I absolutely get what you are saying.

I was only thinking the other night that I haven't actually sat in my house alone for 2 years!, when my kids were young and at school I so enjoyed this time. They're grown, they're still here because to rent privately is too expensive, I still have teens here too, who need me, I love them all and love them here, but sometimes I would like to sit and watch a programme without being disturbed or waiting till 2am.

I would like for family and friends to understand that I'm not sitting waiting on their texts or phone calls and I can't always sit and chat for hours. I have a disabled dd and I'm busy, busy, I can't just up and go out for drinks and food without notice. They're bored, home alone and don't have these stresses.

I sometimes take a book and go for coffee in the cafe in our local John Lewis. I don’t shop - I just go for a bit of piece and quiet. You could always go to the cinema and turn your phone off. Some hotels rent rooms for meetings and you might have an office block near you that rents out rooms by the hour.

I feel you!

Same. Some days I'm all peopled out.

Nothing wrong with it. I'm revived by time alone, while DH is revived by a party with mates. Different solutions to the same problem.

Same op. Never on my own, always 'on call'. It's exhausting

Why on earth are you not relaxed at home? I've done practically nothing today. We tidied yesterday morning and had friends over for dinner last night. I've done little today. Why are you not making this happen?

My dream is to spent a night in a premier inn all by myself! I feel you 100%

Me too, OP, me too!

I actually did something like this a while ago but the mattress quality was awful. I reckon I'd rent Airnbnb now for a week or so. Hotels are a bit impersonal.

"And I have to pretend I'm happy and sociable around people all the time and fill all their needs."

Can I ask why OP?

Are you a single parent to small children? If not, can you really not say you want a couple of hours to yourself to go swimming or something? Can you really not say 'Please don't disturb me for the next 2 hours, I'm reading'?
I can't imagine not being able to carve out any time at all to rest in MY OWN HOME.

I am currently travelling back from 6 days in the Isle of Tiree (W Scotland). Totally peaceful. No sound other than birds, the sea, the breeze. Blissful!

Oh goodness I can so relate to this, so much so I sometimes just sit in the car for a bit. Just to get some headspace.
Literally wish I could disappear just for one night somewhere silent and alone

Yup. I often “have an early meeting” to allow me to go to work an hour early, so that I can drink coffee in peace before anyone else turns up.

Not gloating OP, but this is basically my life and although I sometimes have perhaps too much time to think, I generally love it. People think I must be lonely but I'm not. I'm very solitary and quiet and have never wanted a family; just my dog.

But the downside- if any- is that when I go back into the world, I really can't cope with it. Noise, people, traffic, children, crowding. All too much, but I do think I'm on the ASD spectrum.

Can you carve out a regular bit of time just for you? A 2 hour slot that you ring-fence? What you do is up to you. My friend sits in the local library browsing books and papers. Another does a stained glass class. They're not alone but both feel no need to be sociable during that time.

Not now, but there have been times in my life when I have felt exactly like this.

I used to close my eyes and picture myself alone in a perfectly white room with curtains blowing in the breeze. (like John and Yoko's Imagine video)

As a free escape I would go to the library reference section and sit with a book for a few hours or just sit in the local churchyard. So peaceful.

My kids are young teens and want my attention when they want it- usually on demand when I'm in the middle of a program. Several interruptions in and I give up. They badger and text, and often walk in to wherever I am and start discussing the most in depth matters - it's exhausting!

I sometimes add things in my calendar (seen by everyone) so they won't contact me an hour or so here or there. It's not great but asking for space and privacy falls on deaf ears.

A few years ago I’d had enough of the constant questions and demands from family, so I informed them I was going to a spa for three nights. I just had my kindle, sunglasses and swimming costume. it was utter bliss; the only decisions I had to make was what to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I realised just how neglectful I had become of my own needs when the massage therapist asked me how long I’d had back pain for. When I said I didn’t, she replied that my gait revealed otherwise. Anyway, I lay face down on the couch feeling slightly sorry for myself and wept what I hoped were some silent tears. Alas, I couldn’t get away with it - the snot dangled out of my nose and headed for the floor.

She was very kind.

When I had newborns, I'd look at Prem Inns with such lust!

I can completely empathise. I have always run and that helps my mental health so much. If I'm ever injured, I cannot bear it! I don't need to go far and fit it into my week whichever which way I can. Are you able to get out for a walk, run or similar?

I'm a single parent working full time in a job where I'm around people all the time. My DC are very chatty and demanding.

But they go to their dad's EOW so every 2 weeks I get 2 full days and nights to myself. I love my kids so much and love being around them but OMG I need that weekend without them so so much when it comes around.

Friends always ask why I don't "make the most" of my child free time by meeting up with people and going out but I need to be able to be on my own and the there is no way I would use even a tiny proportion of that time in the presence of another human. It was difficult when I worked p/t and could get some down time in the week or when the DC were less emotionally draining but currently I'm at my limit of being with people.

You are so not unreasonable. I feel the same. Things have been utterly awful for my DD this year and is is a full time job addressing this on top of my own very FT job. DH literally ficks off to work and does none of this. I have literally had to remove myself upstairs as I am so resentful of always being needed. Someone said to me last week that we need to make time for us but it is impossible.

Fucks off to work, sorry. One day I will proof read ( maybe when I am less angry).