To desperately need a break from people

[Lemonfizzy]

I feel constantly overwhelmed by people. Everyone wants something from me constantly. And I have to pretend I'm happy and sociable around people all the time and fill all their needs. I just want to be quiet, have some space to read and not have to answer to anyone. I never get to relax at home and I'm always on edge. Aibu? Does anyone else feel like this or is there something wrong with me?

Also where could I escape and spend a few days on the cheap? And is it possible rent a private space for even just a few hours? (I saw about sleep pods in Japan you can rent for a couple of hours, sounds magical!)

My Mum needed the same one year and went to a quiet hotel in the Lakes. She left 4/5 days later feeling much better about things and not as people'd out. Hope you can find something.

Absolutely OP. And I'm pretty damn sociable but it's the fact that at the moment someone always wants something;

• do this for the school/PTA
• do this for dance club
• join the committee for swimming
• volunteer for XYZ event

FFS. I work full time and fed up of being guilted by people if I can't do something. Sometimes I feel like my head may explode.

I voted YABU because of this line:

“And I have to pretend I'm happy and sociable around people all the time and fill all their needs.”

You don’t have to pretend. Stop doing it. If you are people pleasing then that is pathetic and is on you.

Most on here will agree with you as text based social media (ie forums that dont require selfies) attract introverts as opposite to extroverts on say tiktok.

YANBU. Everyone needs some alone time at some point in their lives. Hope you find some solace soon OP 💐 🍷 📚

I get like this too, last month I booked a solo five day holiday abroad and it was bliss.
For an easier fix I love to go to the cinema on my own.

Before children I remember being fascinated by a motif running through Carol Shield’s books: each different heroine at some point, iircc, found herself in a cell-like room with a single bed, as a nun would have.

I couldn’t understand why anyone would crave such a thing. Until I had kids.

Get thee to an Air B&B.

OP, you are me 😔

YANBU, I feel the same at the moment, I have reached my capacity for people and I don't have the energy or patience for anything much at the moment. I know I am neglecting myself but I just don't have the energy to do anything about it. I feel unreasonable wanting to take time for myself and I'm not sure how I'd fit it in anyway.

I work full time and then every other waking minute seems to be spent dealing with DC or the dog or life admin or admin for the organisation I volunteer for, or my parents, or school stuff etc. My head feels like it's about to explode and I don't get a moment's peace.

Which is why I'm sitting here at 11.30pm, 20 mins after DH went to bed, just for some time to myself. But I'll regret it when the alarm goes off at 6am and I'm still tired. Not sure what the answer is but I definitely hear you!

Get off social media?

Been feeling a bit like this myself lately op so tomorrow l am slipping off the radar for a few hours while dd is at school. Going for a swim then out for lunch all by myself!

I did this too and again, really uncomfortable, and was kept up all night by the people in the room next door. I'd love to stay at a quiet, rural little cottage for a weekend or something, but so much money.

Take up cycling; when you're out whizzing round the streets and country lanes no-one except the odd irate driver can get at you. It's just you, your bike and the journey.

Yes, it is a problem that I'm a perpetual people pleaser. That's engrained in me because my dad was a violent alcoholic who beat me and my siblings for many years. Hard to shake that mentality unfortunately. But guess you probably think I was a pathetic child too.

I'm convinced that a fair proportion of the other cyclists I see are in it partly for this reason, btw! And this is backed up by the fact that I hardly ever see women around my own age, too many responsibilities, I guess.

I do cycle a lot actually! It's one thing I do enjoy a lot. But I see it more as a mode of transport I think, and also I feel like I can never relax and enjoy time like this because there's always a strict time limit and something waiting for me to do afterwards. Or I'm racing to get somewhere on time.

Ah, my cycling is hardly ever on a deadline, it's usually for leisure so maybe it has a different feel. When I go shopping on my bike I don't feel so relaxed, just normal, so I guess I can see where you're coming from.

Oh @Lemonfizzy that is so awful. Not pathetic now and a million miles from pathetic then. It is very, very hard to shake that mentality after going through what you have.

You really deserve a break from people. Well done you for identifying that and you go and get that break. I hope it brings you the peace you need.

See your GP and also book a counsellor to help you with your self esteem.

Can't you go to bed early with a book, get up early and meditate, go for a run, have a long bath, etc, there are many ways to snatch small pieces of peace in your life

God yes I feel your pain. I was trying to do something to my house yesterday in a very short time frame and every single neighbour came out to talk to me, bloody hell they just didn't shut up. I could feel my chest tightening with anxiety. I'm always so busy. I haven't got time to chat endlessly. I just went in an hour and a half later and just cried.
Last time I felt like this I booked a weekend air B&B in Cornwall which isn't far and it was heaven, other times I've gone to a campsite and just stayed in my tent under a tree on the far side of the field reading books in complete silence.

I'd recommend going to an air B&B well outside the school holidays, I rented a flat for the weekend - bedroom/bathroom, it was very cheap and there were no holiday makers in any of the other flats. It was heaven.

There’s a convent (probably more than one) somewhere on south coast that has a single retreat room you can stay in. Good can be dropped off so no one interacts with you; you don’t have to be religious to stay there. Always sounded great (although couldn’t take my dogs and I like being with my dogs far more than with people!)

I feel so much better reading and seeing I'm not alone in this and that others are struggling, sometimes I feel like it's just me

I am going off on my own tomorrow for a few days. I have just had it with everyone and everything. Selfish lazy teens, demanding grumpy husband.
Very lucky to have access to a coastal house. DH and DS will be fine without me, infact they will probably enjoy it.

I will sleep, walk, take long baths, read, listen to music. If I want some company (I won’t) I will go for coffee and cake or pop into the pub for a glass of wine. Might eat out or just pick up some seafood from the harbour or call into the farm shop for overpriced but delicious deli bits.

Hopefully I will return home in a better mood, rested and ready to face the rest of the summer.