A MIL one!

[Summering23]

I quite possibly may be being entirely pre-menstrually and unreasonable here. In general I find my MIL a bit much. Constantly hassling me for things she should go to my husband for etc.
Last week was our wedding anniversary and I saw that MIL has posted to congratulate us on her Facebook wall. Not on mine or DH’s wall, nor tagging us. She’s had various congratulatory messages from people neither of us have ever heard of. She’s then thanked each one of them on our behalf. AIBU to find this really fucking weird and attention seeking?

DH just rolled his eyes when he saw it but it really irritated me. We didn’t really acknowledge the anniversary or celebrate it ourselves and it feels a bit intrusive for her to be using it for attention from people that are complete randoms to us.

Why does this bother you? Just say thanks and move on.

If just assume she doesn’t really know how to use fb. Hardly the crime of the century

Take her off your friends list!

I'd say it's typical of that generation.
I've seen FB posts that are supposed to be replies etc.
Annoying, cringy but hey they'll die out eventually :D

I’m guessing theres more to it.

i agree op.

Of course it's attention seeking - that's what most Facebook posts are for, but I don't see why her not tagging you is a massive issue as you clearly saw it.

Tempting!!

I guess it annoys me because it feels like her muscling in on something that’s not really to do with her and we wouldn’t be posting about our anniversary on social media. DH has told her off multiple times in the past for posting our stuff online like photos etc.

I'd tend to agree with this, and why would someone celebrating your anniversary be annoying? I don't get it, honestly. It's harmless AND kind.

Do it. Stop sending her pictures too, I’d hate my pictures to be put on social media.

I don’t care that she didn’t tag me I just would rather she didn’t post about me/us at all. We don’t post anything these days and I only use it for for specific health groups I’m in.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's a lovely sentiment that I just could not get worked up about this, even if I really disliked her.

I don't get how it's 'muscling in', and surely if you wouldn't post it yourself it's better that she doesn't tag you?

Does it really matter though? Is the intention malicious?

My parents and my MIL are always much more interested in our wedding anniversary than we are. I'd forget it if it wasn't for them sending cards and gifts each year. I think wedding anniversaries are just a big deal for the older generation. I'm sure she meant no harm by it. In her eyes I expect she was just celebrating a happy family event. I don't think she was "muscling in".

I’m just not sure why somebody would celebrate someone else’s anniversary when they themselves aren’t celebrating.
in any case surely to be kind a text to us would do it?

I don't think there is anything nasty about it.

Some women of a certain age like to show off to their friends that their offspring can do no wrong and by posting about your wedding anniversary to her friends only it makes her feel good.

They are often like a bunch of clucking hens each one trying to trump the other with some tale about their son or daughter!

Have a mental image of this in your head when you read such posts -

Yeah it’s weird but you’re spending too much time and energy thinking about it. Just shrug and move on like your husband, you’d have a much easier life

It's not just somebody else tho, is it? It's her son and daughter in law. She's proud of you and likes to share that. She knows you don't post so doesn't tag you.

Your post has made me realise what it is that annoys me I think. I see her very much as DH’s family and not mine ( due to a combination of things not least that we are married but pretty much live separate lives at this stage) So I do find it intrusive in a way I perhaps wouldn’t otherwise.

Genuinely couldn't be arsed to be annoyed about this if I were in your position.

Just let her get on with it if it makes her happy.

This is nothing to do with you being pre menstrual, and most likely to do with you not liking your MIL. It was a harmless post on her Facebook.

So you and DH are living separate lives? Is this the real reason you're so annoyed? Because your marriage is on the rocks and you don't want the anniversary to be celebrated? Does MIL know you're having marriage problems?

Aww my late MIL was so excited by our wedding anniversary’s, particularly our silver wedding. Such a lovely women, very supportive to me, better than my own mother and the best grandmother you could ever wish for to my DS’.

Yes she is completely aware.

She's just happy it's your anniversary abs doesn't really get Facebook. A non issue imo.