To feel sick every time someone bitches about their colleague?

[stayathomer]

Two years ago I started working for a large bookstore (that also has a huge card and gift section). It was /is still my dream job, I have the loveliest colleagues ever, the work is brilliant and I still pinch myself that I work with books and get to work around people, and we have lovely customers as well as staff plus I’m an author too (but make money so sporadically that it doesn’t really help the house- 4 kids, me and dh, who works in a very good job but not enough that we wouldn’t have to go back to a previous existence where pretty much everything was a luxury). Over the past five months two people have left, one who I helped out on gifts and we have been told they can’t be replaced so we’ve all shifted roles. I’m now solely over gifts and have come to realise how generally shit I am at ordering/merchandising/all of it really. Manager is supportive as is assistant manager so both jump in to help out a lot more than they had to when the other girl would sometimes do five times more on her own. I flounder daily and now everyone has started digging me out adding to their work. They’re all still positive, lovely etc, but with me being the weakest of a very good group of people I can tell they’re getting a bit tired. Now every time any of my friends talks about a shit day at work as a result of x person not being capable or dh says ‘oh for gods sake’ about a person in work that messed up I feel sick. I can’t leave my job as I’d never find another. I suppose I’m just looking for any form of … I don’t even know. Sorry.

Oh gosh.
Poor you

Okay. So first thing to do is talk to manager
Help: I am struggling. I love the job I don't know why I am not good at these bits, please can you help me put procedures in place so I can do things better?

Can you not acknowledge that you're shit on gifts and be swapped with someone who's better at it?

I've put you're being unreasonable, as I'm sure you're not as 'bad' as you think you are. You sound intelligent and articulate, I'm sure you will learn more on the job.

Don't be second guessing what others are thinking. People bring different things to a team and if you're cheerful and chatty, I think that helps a lot.

Be proactive. Talk to your manager about how you know you're struggling. Ask for either more support in your current role, or (my recommendation) to be moved back to what you were doing before.

Can you move to another branch of the same company?

BillyNoM8s
Can you not acknowledge that you're shit on gifts and be swapped with someone who's better at it?
There’s nobody to swap with, we’re threadbare now in terms of staff with only one person on books flat out all the time (we are all scheduled to help an hour and a half on different days) two on schoolbooks and stationary, where years ago they had three, and a girl on three different sections who’s always running. There’s literally nowhere I can go, and (hilariously) nothing I can do better!

Ask for extra training. It'll do your confidence no good in the long run if you continue to be the weakest link at work.

AlligatorPsychopath
Be proactive. Talk to your manager about how you know you're struggling. Ask for either more support in your current role, or (my recommendation) to be moved back to what you were doing before.
Shes with me a lot. She’s an absolute legend and shows me how to do things so they’re more professional looking, held with orders etc. she’s a real people person, knows I’m struggling and is regularly motivating me/praising me but I take up too much of her time.

DancingShinyFlamingo
Can you move to another branch of the same company?
It would be the same issues in a not as nice place and anyway unfortunately the company doesn’t have room for movement (we recently got a group email asking could people stop taking cvs)

Btw thanks everyone x

In which case you'll just have to improve your weaknesses. Why are you struggling with ordering - I'm not sure how that can be particularly taxing, but maybe I'm misunderstanding?

Merchandising takes practise. Take photos of good displays so you have a reference of what works. Gift wrapping (if an issue) is purely a matter of practise.

pimmsandgin
btw we’ve had multiple talks, she says she knows it’s hard on me, she’s asked for another staff member but it definitely won’t be this year, they’re here to support etc. She is practically by my side every day and diplomatic as hell (hence the reason I know I’m so lucky!)

Just set yourself a goal to be better at the job you are doing. Write down procedures and break it dkwn to small tasks and try and pinpoint any areas you have particular difficulty with. Write it all out if necessary. If changing jobs isnt an option you need to try amd improve your performamce in your present job.

You need to go in & cheerfully do your best, learn where you can. You're short staffed & everyone's pitching in where they can. Be positive & stop apologising & whittering on about how crap you are & being apologetic... it's draining for other people to have to keep on reassuring you.

You’re being a bit hard on yourself. Learning new things takes time.

BillyNoM8s
Thanks- I’m definitely getting slightly better with merchandising (did a window the other day and manager fixed nothing and when next in line came in to check the store she said window was fine (which I’ll take!!) from looking at what my manager does and yes am taking photos in different shops and looking at how to place things eg frames not just one in front of the other. Wrapping is fine as I have 4 kids and enjoy it but I physically can’t make eg hampers look professional so manager did them (the old gifts employee was epic at it!)

Ordering gifts unfortunately isn’t like confectionery where you know stuff is missing and just order it, in gifts the other girl looked through catalogues and ordered what would sell. I can’t tell how much stock we need to have out the back because it differs so hugely from one thing to another due to space in the stock room etc. My last two orders I’ve gotten it spectacularly wrong, too much of one thing, two little of another and I didn’t order in time for an occasion. Understandable if I was new to the job but it’s in my handover and I’d been warned- I just couldn’t figure out quantities and took my manager up wrong. That’s kind of my thing- I’ve no common sense on this stuff

ThursdayFreedom
You need to go in & cheerfully do your best, learn where you can. You're short staffed & everyone's pitching in where they can. Be positive & stop apologising & whittering on about how crap you are & being apologetic... it's draining for other people to have to keep on reassuring you.
They don’t know I feel like this and they don’t know I know I’m shit. I go in positive because I love the place and I love them but as the day wears on I get a lot of ‘do you need a hand, do you think you’ll get that done, I can help’ because they recognise I’m not at the speed my ex colleague is at eg for putting orders on the system and then stocking out. It ends up them helping to the detriment of their sections and I see that they’re tired. I thank them, tell them they don’t have to but I never say ‘god I'm so crap etc’ because I do see that would be wearing. I’ve made a joke the very off time about them being too good etc but the latest one they just all looked wrecked and I felt so bad.

Fisharejumping
Thanks so much x I have worked there and with her two years though but honestly thanks! X

Sounds like a lot of it is probably down to experience. Was the last person there for a long time? Some things just take a long time to be good at and they cannot expect perfection if management are choosing to cut corners with staffing. Perhaps they can put you in contact with a colleague who does the gift ordering in a similar sized store and you could compare your ordering to theirs?

OP I really feel for you. The job you are being required to do isn't what you signed up for, and is something you don't have a natural aptitude for (I wonder if, like me, you struggle with mind's eye/spacial awareness...) I think you need to get out before it completely destroys your confidence. And it's not your fault that staffing has been cut drastically.

Reading your responses to people’s suggestions, there’s a lot of ‘yes but’ and ‘I can’t’. You’ve written a post saying you’re worried that you’re useless and everyone has to help you too much, but when people make suggestions for what you might do to develop the skills you’re lacking, your responses suggest you believe you have no power/ability to change or improve. It’s this limiting belief that’s holding you back.

Merchandising might not be a natural skill, but you can learn to get better at it. You’ve already done a display that was well received. Some people do have a more natural eye for design than others, but that’s not to say it’s not a skill that can be honed and improved over time. So if merchandising is now part of your job, do some reading about what makes a successful display, pay attention when you’re out shopping and take photos of displays you like, look at the colour wheel and work out what colours go together, make a calendar of special occasions throughout the year and set reminders to tell you when to change displays and when to order stuff to furnish the display so that you’re regularly mixing things up. When you’ve made displays, proactively ask for feedback and learn from it.

Same goes for ordering stock. It’s not something anyone is born with an innate ability to do. You learn how to do it from doing it. You need to create systems. You must have a system that tells you what stock you have and how sales are going so that you can see what’s selling well, what’s not, what you’re running low on, etc. All shops do. Use it. Look at the numbers and use them to help you plan. Organise the stock room so it’s easy to see exactly what you have. Like with the displays, create alerts for when you have to order products in advance of significant events. If you don’t know how to do any of these things, ask your manager to explain them. If you feel it’s necessary, find some training/a course on stock management/control you can attend.

You’re not useless otherwise they would have fired you already. It sounds like you have really supportive colleagues who value you and want to get alongside you when you’re struggling. You’re clearly intelligent and capable. So stop telling yourself that you can’t and start being more proactive about developing the skills you’re lacking. Your predecessor was good because they learned how to do their job well. They wouldn’t have just waltzed in on day one able to do everything right. You can learn to do everything as well as she did - you will just have to put the time and effort in to doing that learning.

Please ask for help. DON’T actively say youre shit. But go in proactively and say you want to get better. A manager can work with that. Then they aren’t dragging you along, having to be political, tip toeing around your feelings while still trying to get the job done. There’s not much you manager can do while you’re bobbing about smiling pretending everything is ok. All they can do is pick up your slack. If you go to them and commit to TRYING to learn, they can have open conversations with you which will help.

sounds like your self esteem is low and that will be preventing you from improving at you job. You’re convininv yourself you “can’t,” and maybe you aren’t naturally amazing at your job but you CAN do it.

also I’m guessing but do you struggle with maths? Dyscalculia even? You seem to be not seeing the patterns and unable to conceptualise space and time and for stock taking that’s important. You can put things in place to assist. Get some training which WILL help.

but overall you need to do some work to really get to the bottom of why you feel so inadequate - like I said, you may not be the best but why are you so certain you can’t even improve incrementally? That’s a confidence/esteem issue.

please be proactive and ask for help to improve. And stop talking yourself down. You sound lovely

Why do you think you would never find another job if you were to leave that one. There are plenty of jobs. Of course you would find another if this one isn't working out for you.

rainbowunicorn we kind of live in one of those areas- we have 2 or 3 people drop in cvs daily, there were a lot of jobs last year but they're definitely dwindling down and this year alone a sweet shop and two cafes closed down in the town. And to be honest I was a long long long time searching for a job when I got this one, I'd tried every pub and shop and cafe and fast food place, most had online ways to apply and nobody ever even got back to me. We have four kids and so I really want to stay in our locality as I commuted before and basically didn't see the kids.