Aibu to be bloody annoyed with the school here?

[jmscp]

DD5 (who's in foundation) has just merrily come out with a revelation at bedtime (obviously when else!?😂) that she has something in her book bag to show us that she'd forgotten about.

Intrigued I went and investigated and have found about 25 berry seeds.

Went back up and me and DP quizzed her on where they where from. She said they are from the playground and she's been putting them in her mouth and or peeling them and collecting the seeds.

Obviously I don't know what sort of berries they are or if they are likely to be harmful but even regardless of that am I right to be bloody annoyed nobody has noticed her ;

1. Doing it in the first place or
2. Then placing all of the sodding seeds in her book-bag and asking her where she had gotten them from?

As not to drip feed she's under watch of SENCO for suspected ADHD as she's highly impulsive and lacks sense for danger, so tbh I thought they might of been a little bit more interested in keeping and eye on her!

She's been told not to eat wild berries etc by us before and all that jazz but as per the above she forgets and just follows the impulse.

So am I just being totally over the top or am I well within my rights to be really annoyed and telling them so on Monday?

TIA. 🫠

They can’t have eyes on everything she does at all times. And no one would be in her bookbag to see them.

Maybe mention it to school, but I don’t see anything to be annoyed at them about.

I would mention that it happened but don't go in all guns blazing. It's not realistic to expect your child to have an adult's eyes on her every minute she's in the playground, they have dozens of other kids and their issues to deal with too.

I do realise that of course.

And if it was a few of them I'd absolutely not bat an eyelid. But there is 25 of them so I'd guess she spent more than a quick 5 minutes doing it. Lol

If she's got form for this as your post says......then it's up to YOU to highlight to them!

My guess is that there wouldn't be any berries on school grounds which could be a problem if eaten - but obv I don't know in your specific case.
I'd definitely mention it in an email, as a sort of "DD ate some berries she picked in the playground, and obviously I'd know by now if they were poisonous but just wanted to check what they were in case they're something that they shouldn't be eating"
She'll get up to allsorts at school, and they can't watch every child at all times, so there has to be a bit of a balance as to how to approach things with them.

No no form for picking berries 😂 it's just we've mentioned it in the past as it's something you just teach your child isn't it?

But obviously it has been highlighted by us that she's got suspected ADHD and all of the characteristics that go with that yes. Hence her being under watch of SENCO.

Yep, you're being over the top, sorry. You need to tell her not to eat berries and seeds she's found. Your child is one of hundreds to keep an eye on. Don't be that parent, especially in the first year at school!

That's fine I'm absolutely happy to be told I'm being over the top. It was just the amount that alarmed me.

It's hard to explain just how many children at present - post Covid - need a close eye. It's just not possible to watch everyone.

I don't think you're being over the top to be concerned. It could be pretty serious if she ate something poisonous. I do think you were unreasonable to be annoyed that they didn't notice or prevent it on this occasion.

However, given that she's on watch from the SENCO, I think it would be reasonable to ask for a risk assessment to be done because of this, and for measures to be put in place to supervise her in the playground. That may mean that she loses a little of her freedom (e.g. "Lucy must stay near a staff member"), but it would add a layer of safety.

I remember doing this at the back of the field with my best friend when we were about 7!! She then went and told me that actually those berries were poison and would grow spikes in my tummy and kill me, thanks Rebecca for the nightmares! No teachers were ever involved!

Seriously though mention to school, there shouldn't really be berries growing where small children can eat them even if harmless. They can't watch them all the time but for that reason the site should be as safe as possible, obviously.

Good idea to flag it to them on Monday. Also you might be able to find an app to identify the seeds for your own peace of mind.

i don’t think you can be too annoyed that they didn’t see the seeds in the book bag though. I mean, you didn’t discover them and you only have one book bag to check.

Thank you all.

With the book bag I didn't mean they should of checked it at all I don't expect that. I'm just wondering how she managed to get them back in the classroom and into the drawer in which her book bag is kept all day. Didn't explain that very well so apologies. Even then I get that they can't watch them all individually like hawks but it must of been a bit of a faff around for her to even do, there's LOADS of them! 😂

Absolutely your are right, this is just what I needed to hear so thanks so much. 😊

I think you have a point regarding the playground monitoring, especially if your child is being checked for ADHD. 'Oral fixation' is a sign of ADHD - it would be surprising for her to have never put things in her mouth in class if she's doing it with the berries - I feel that should have been noticed and therefore thought about in terms of safeguarding inside and out.

The bag thing though, is less of a complaint. Things go by so quickly in a school day and to expect scheduled bag checks for 30 children is unrealistic. Also, managing your own stuff is part of growing up and becoming independent.

What @buckeyetree said. There are so many that need kept an eye on and not enough staff to do it. There is a post covid explosion of need in schools. The sendco that is keeping an eye of her is likely in a meeting in an office at the other end of the school when she is out at break. Do let the staff know what she has been up to so they can take additional steps to keep her safe, but please don't go in all guns blazing.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that someone could have noticed. The playground is busy but bringing the seeds into the classroom, transferring them to her book bag - surely someone could have seen that ? I wouldn't be furious but certainly I'm surprised that this was not seen at all .

I think you at least need to tell the school what she has done so they can remove the berries.

It would be interested to know if school even knew what type of berries they had growing in the playground. Because they are aware of them and know them to be harmless then that's something at-least, but if they have no idea then that's a problem in itself

'If' they are aware of them *

So you didn't notice them until bedtime when she brought it up, but someone else should have? If I were your daughter's teacher and you came complaining with this story and telling us to watch her more closely, I'd ask you to check her bookbag each afternoon and to read with her.

You are being completely unrealistic if you think staff can keep an eye on everyone in the playground. They are usually busy with rows, upsets, pushing and shoving, grazed knees, bumped heads, infringements of playground rules, disagreements over who is out, complaints about classmates not taking turns, complaints about others not sharing, complaints about not taking turns, requests for going in to the toilet, etc etc etc etc.
There will be many many children at school with SEN, far too many to keep an eye on as well as sorting out all the usual playtime issues.

My kids have brought all sorts home in their book bags - my DS used to come out with so many stones in his pockets he'd drag on the floor. He has ADHD so I definitely sympathise on the impulse control front

I wouldn't be annoyed with the school but I'd mention she reckons she's been eating berries she's found in the playground and let them check around it's nothing to worry about.

Dunno think it's easy enough to do tbh - in their pockets and in their bags takes seconds - she'd have been happy enough doing it not crying or anything - not sure they would

Staff have to watch all children at break times not just the ones with ADHD. They cannot see everything that happens.

I would not give a shiny shit about them being in the book bag but I would probably ask the staff to please try and keep a closer eye her until she grows out of it.