To kiss out dream of country living goodbye because of lack of schools?

[mmmflakycrust81]

I grew up in an idyllic village, very 'Darling Buds of May'. I have lived in London pretty much since my 20s, and always dreamed of moving back to raise my own family there.

I had started looking up properties in one of the larger villages in the area I grew up in (still has a train connection to London) and joined a local FB group to get an idea of what was going on. I saw a post today that stated the local primary school had 120 applicants for two 30 form classes from the village alone, let alone the neighbouring smaller villages which had no school. Children were therefore being placed at larger schools 15 or so miles away.

I can't see how we would be able to make that work, especially as I am unable to drive. I always imagined that we would be able to walk to school during the work day.

Is this going to be the case for most areas now? Complete lack of infrastructure development, especially while they build new and much-needed housing on the outskirts of these areas?

I feel like we are going to have to stay in London for that reason - there are at least 6 schools local to where we are, but I really wanted to get DD out of the city.

Is there a solution here that I am missing? Or is it a case of tough luck?

You need a bigger town with good transport. I live in a suburban area and we barely have any public transport. You can't rely on one driver. Everyone has two cars, and older teens often have their own. You will have to tell your child they can't do this club or go to that party because you got only one car. It's different if there's only one parent because the child won't be comparing it to their friends.

As an example, I got two kids and one day a week we need both of us to drive. Next week there is one more because DC1 has a concert she will perform in her secondary at the same time as DC2's brownies. Without two cars, you'll be telling them either they don't perform at the school concert or the other can't go to brownies. It happens all the time and much more often when they go older.

School places are generally allocated on distance, so move really close to your preferred school. Really close.
If you don't drive, you need a village with a fair bit going on you can walk/cycle to, and good bus/train links to other places.
I wouldn't give up on it - but I would factor the driving in to all aspects of your life, not just schools.

So many points to consider here other than schooling that I had never given much thought to other than 'DH can drive there' which... isn't always going to be practical or fair. Even if they do provide a school bus, its going to put strain on us always having to scramble to find a way to get DD anywhere else, e.g birthday parties at the swimming pool in the nearest large town etc....

London is perfect for us in the sense that, we can get everywhere without a car, so DD is always getting to experience everything the city can offer -we are always busy at weekends. I just hate the idea of schooling here. City life is tiring me out.

However. I would seriously consider how practical it will be to live rurally and not drive. Your children will want to do after school clubs and won’t be able to get the bus. They will want to do play dates with friends who don’t live within walking distance- this would likely be the case even if they were at the local school, if not at primary because you’re very lucky, then certainly at secondary. They will forget their PE kit, or will need collecting early because they’ve been sick. The school once forgot to put my child on the bus and I had to go and get him….

Do consider that your kids may actually be quite happy to grow up in London/a city, and wouldn’t get the same value out of rural life as you did.

I need to rename the thread 'Kiss goodbye to the rural dream because I cannot drive.....'

!

Stupid eyeballs ruin everything.

@mmmflakycrust81 DC1 secondary has a school bus. However, it only does one trip to and one trip back from school. She can't use the school bus if she has to start early or leave late. As an example for starting early, DC1 has a school field trip and their coach leaves at 8am. School doesn't start till 8.30. That same day I also have to pick up from school because the coach arrives after normal school finish time. They might also do after school clubs at school which also means a car pick up. There are just so many times you need to drive.

A few kids called ubers when their school bus broke down at school last year.

But I agree with other PP that there must be a smaller town with a lot at walking distance you can choose from. As I said, I'm suburban and we needed cars here. However, the city close by is small and you can easily live without a car there. (It's not nice so I won't recommend it).

I love our country life. There are many positives. But don’t think it’s all rosy. I know my kids miss out on stuff too - yes at 8 they’re chasing across fields with their friends, and playing in rivers etc. But they only go to the cinema maybe once a year. Clothes shopping? Online or twice a year to the ‘local’ primark. They’ve been to the big London museums - but only a couple of times, so not seen much of them. Their friendship groups are very small - and it’s something I’m very wary of. As for night life - well, there’s not a lot and the local pubs have known them since small so know exactly what their ages are and who to tell if they get in trouble!

I often wonder where our kids will choose to bring up their families!

Also an excellent point. My mum once told me that before we moved to the country, my Grandad told her that 'Its lovely for them when they are little, but what happens once they become teenagers?' Which...fair point. Unless you had a hobby e.g. horses, sports, there was bugger all else to do.

Another con added to the list then....

Yes. This is why literally everybody lives in London.

We moved to Northumberland with our 4 little ones and they love it,freedom to play, great schoold when there ready,lovely community. Would never go back to the city

Our village primary has gone from full 30 in current year 2 to only 19 in incoming Year R. So no, definitely not the case everywhere

When you say the number of applicants for the school, was the the number who put it down as one of their choices? It probably includes lots who put it down but weren’t in catchment and lots who put it as second or third choice. How many in catchment children didn’t get in? If you apply to your catchment school as first choice but are allocated out if catchment, the council have to provide transport so you don’t need to worry about getting them there.
Most rural village schools in my area ;south) are under subscribed due to the falling birth rate and the housing being so expensive. Some small schools are facing closure as most people prefer larger schools, although a 2 form entry school is already large so I guess you are in a town rather than a small village and that won’t apply to you.
Just move where you want to live rather than base it on the school. The best predictor of how successful a child will be in school is how engaged their parents are.

There are plenty of places that are commutable to London but more rural. I live just inside the m25 and my son went to a local village school with single form entry. He enjoyed the benefits of a village community and still enjoys going to the village to build dens, coming to our allotment etc. But we also have local shops plus bigger shopping centres in local towns within easy reach by bus/ train.

Don't give up completely.

I'd check what the catchment area is for the school - where was the furthest place they offered? As you have to put down three (I think) schools on the application, many schools will get double the applicants for places. We live less than a mile from the school, a ten minute walk, and got in easily with DD1 then DD2 got in as a sibling place anyway. Some local schools have a 200 yard catchment though.

Another vote here for a small town. A feeling of community, better resources, much more to walk out to and possibly better transport links. The best of both worlds.

INSIDE the M25?!

Depends how remote it is really. Teen DDs never moan about living in a village. For one thing they can get to London on the train in 40 minutes.

Just to make you feel better. I lived in a rural village as a child and loved it. The reality of living rurally as an adult is very different to that of a child. It's bloody miserable. Not easy to get tontej shops if you run out. Constantly running children to their friends miles away. Reliance on a car to do anything so always one is a designated driver.

I hated it. Couldn't wait to leave. I'm now happy back in a town

If you can’t drive then it’s probably more sensible to start looking at small towns where there’s more amenities within walking distance and more public transport.

I'd figure out the things that appeal to you about living rurally and see if you can find an approximation of them in a town with decent public transport. There could be a good healthy medium somewhere.

This is not an issue in our rural area. Lots of excellent schools and most are not oversubscribed. All are Ofsted Good or Outstanding- there is nothing shit and most get in to the school that serves their village. There is bus transport if you don’t and it’s only a few miles max.

Lots of semi rural villages have schools within distance by foot or bus. My two are about 40 mins drive away now they're at secondary (they could go by bus if they wanted). Primary school was 5 mins walk away. All very good schools, with good grammars, also the countryside is on our doorstep. If you're wanting a total rural setting then you will always have a problem if you don't drive.

We live very rurally and yet have an excellent train service to a large city (but we have to drive to the station!), so we pop into the city and pretend to be ladies who lunch every now and then. We don't miss out on things like theatre, shopping or restaurants and yet can escape back to our rural bolt hole at the end of the day. My now adult DC love the countryside but they are very keen horse riders and both have taken up rural professions that allow them to have a job with a decent wage in an area where there is very little work. They were raised in cities when they were younger so are able to compare the two and neither of them are keen on moving back to a city or town. But it was a huge gamble and if the desire to own a horse each hadn't pushed us into country living, we may not have done it. Country living works well if you have a lifestyle that only the country can offer - otherwise I think there are more cons than pros, even if you drive. You might not be missing out on as much as you think you are, OP!