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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be absolutely raging at my 5mo

129 replies

Lammveg · 16/06/2023 02:45

My DD is 5mo and is waking up hourly and has been for the last week or so. She's fed, clean, is lovely in the day time, super happy etc. Won't settle without boob, but also pinches my skin and bites my nipple when feeding overnight. Refuses bottles and dummies. I'm raging (somewhat light hearted...but also not really). I'm so tired. Tell me it gets better!!?

OP posts:
Purpleshoes13 · 16/06/2023 02:52

Currently awake with 2nd child who is 5 wks old and won't settle.

It does get better. It has been very hot recently which maybe why. Is it possible they are teething? Could be they are distracted during the day and it hurt at night?

Sparklesocks · 16/06/2023 02:55

My 9 week old is on one tonight too, just won’t settle. I’ve resigned myself to being the living dead tomorrow 🫣

also hope it gets better, don’t think I could cope if she’s still doing it at 5 months!!

Lammveg · 16/06/2023 02:58

Aww sorry you're up too @Purpleshoes13 but there's comfort in knowing others are awake too.

I did think it might be the heat. Teething wise...maybe? I might try a dose of ibuprofen before bed tomorrow, I just need a good 4 hour stretch of sleep and I'll feel much better. I can't even nap in the day as she only contact naps and I don't have anyone around to help in the week.

OP posts:
Lammveg · 16/06/2023 03:02

@Sparklesocks DD has been somewhat of a bad sleeper since she entered this world but she has slept in 3-4hr chunks from about 12 weeks (and once teased me with a 9hr stretch!). The first 12 weeks are just about survival, you're doing great!

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 16/06/2023 03:06

Thank you! She only really sleeps 3 hour stretches still, sometimes 4-4.5 at night if I’m lucky, despite my NCT group gushing that their babies have started doing 5-6 hours now 😩
Hope yours settles down, I guess the heat doesn’t help - it can be hard enough for adults to sleep when it’s warm let alone babies!

TopMog · 16/06/2023 03:38

Find your nearest La Leche League and go to a meeting. Buy their book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. Ask the leader and other mothers there for their advice: you will get support and positive feedback and encouragement. Don't battle on in isolation. They helped me survive!

Lower your housekeeping standards - drop everything when she sleeps - lie down yourself and sleep. Don't use those times to catch up on laundry, etc. I made this mistake and it was dreadful. Housework can keep - babies grow up fast, and they are more important. Can your partner or a friend (maybe another La Leche League mother) take your baby out to a park and give you time to sleep?

How much stimulation does your baby get - going out, visiting a park or 'reading' picture books to her, etc. to tire her out.

Play classical music to relax both of you? Do you have a comfortable rocking chair? Do you get out into nature yourself? Cabin fever is enervating.

If it's teething, the homoeopathic remedy that saved my sanity is Calc phos. Speak to Ainsworths Pharmacy. It really works! I tried everything else without success.

Remember that children only learn when they are awake, so you most likely have an exceptionally intelligent baby.

An occasional small glass of wine or beer (Vitamin B) won't do any harm.

This will soon pass, but you must get sleep.

Moonlighting · 16/06/2023 03:56

Such a relief to know it’s not just me! Currently sat up with my 12-week-old latched on and fluttering away knowing that if I pull out we’ll just have to start over again…

I do think half my problem is torturing myself as to whether we’re doing something wrong for baby to not be sleeping more/better. This worry sometimes eats me up so much that I can’t fall asleep even in the rare chances I have aaaargh! But literally at a loss as to what else to do other than wait for him to grow up a bit. He only falls asleep at the breast or in the sling and the latter is becoming progressively unfeasible.

Anyway, solidarity sister! This can’t possibly last forever, can it?!

Janefx40 · 16/06/2023 04:03

Hi everyone. Can you tell from the time that
my baby is the same!!! He's only 4 weeks but just won't sleep at night in his cot which means I am awake from when he is. I can't find a way to co-sleep that seems safe so I am awake when he is.

My partner bottle feeds him in the evenings until 12 or 1 and then (somehow) manages to get him down in his cot so I get a stretch of sleep then but then I'm basically awake from whenever he next wakes up.

I have already watched 2 full series on Netflix.

My DD wasn't easy - no baby is - but it was more being awake for a couple of hours at night rather than all night.

I hate this heat!! I feel like he's sleep better if he was in a sleeping bag/swaddled but it's far too hot for that.

Anyway sending solidarity!!

Campinghelp · 16/06/2023 04:11

Up with my 8 mo 😭 been doing better but having a tough week. The heat surely?!

Flittingaboutagain · 16/06/2023 04:32

Up with my toddler several times tonight due to the heat. But generally yes it gets better for a while then bad again and then one day they move out and I will absolutely adore all the memories of having them on top of me! Sleep isn't linear - it doesn't go from bad to good. It can be good to good or up and down etc.

Makes me sad to think about there will be a time when we hold hold hands as I feed them!

Tofu35 · 16/06/2023 04:33

It took mine (5.5 mo) until 11pm tonight to get to sleep, would crash out when being held or breastfed but soon as his head touched the mattress- wide awake and raging. We had to go to the spare room/husbands office space because it was cooler (and there's an old couch bed for me to sleep on). He was asleep within 5 mins, and gave me 3 hours before waking.

He's currently just singing to himself and not going back to sleep easily but at least he's not crying...

Pearlhavingherfifth · 16/06/2023 04:44

Hello!
My now 10 month old was doing the same from 16 weeks old till 8 months.
No problems,just he woke up,wanted to play,feed.
He is my fifth,before any of my kids were like that.
He is now sleeps better,wakes up only at 4 am,but not during the night :)
He was crawling at 7 months,now saying words and started walking.
So maybe because he is doing everything earlier made Him woke up every night.....don't know.But stay strong!It will get better,one day....

WaltzingWaters · 16/06/2023 04:49

Janefx40 · 16/06/2023 04:03

Hi everyone. Can you tell from the time that
my baby is the same!!! He's only 4 weeks but just won't sleep at night in his cot which means I am awake from when he is. I can't find a way to co-sleep that seems safe so I am awake when he is.

My partner bottle feeds him in the evenings until 12 or 1 and then (somehow) manages to get him down in his cot so I get a stretch of sleep then but then I'm basically awake from whenever he next wakes up.

I have already watched 2 full series on Netflix.

My DD wasn't easy - no baby is - but it was more being awake for a couple of hours at night rather than all night.

I hate this heat!! I feel like he's sleep better if he was in a sleeping bag/swaddled but it's far too hot for that.

Anyway sending solidarity!!

I had a .5 tog swaddle bag for my baby last year, it was so lightweight that with him in that and just a nappy was perfect during the heat. I think it was a Tommee tippee swaddle.

Mariposa26 · 16/06/2023 04:51

My almost 11 week old is being a nightmare in this heat too. Sending solidarity!

YouPutTheScrewInTheTuna · 16/06/2023 04:55

9 month old twins, taking it in turns to torture DH and I for the last few weeks... I hope it's sleep regression/teething/heat related and not a permanent new behaviour(s)! Solidarity with you all

Fearnecuptea · 16/06/2023 05:23

So pleased I'm not alone!

Baby is 12 weeks and seems to be the only baby I know IRL who isn't sleeping 4+ hour stretches! WTF. Second baby as well and tried all the usual tricks- white noise, approximate sleep windows and stimulation in the day, ensuring good naps in day, good feeding in day. He's even formula fed which I thought might make him sleep better but doesn't make a difference.

He tends to sleep from 7pm but wakes for milk at 9,11,12.30,3,3.45 and has only just fallen back to sleep after cuddling! (He wouldn't be put back down). Every night he wakes around 3/4 and takes absolutely ages to get back to sleep. Am fully expecting him to wake again soon...

This heat can do one! It's just too much when you have a baby...

Solasum · 16/06/2023 05:44

I know it isn’t for everyone, but co-sleeping and learning to feed lying down absolutely saved me when DS was a baby.

Minniem2020 · 16/06/2023 05:52

DS(14mo) teased me by having a very rare 8 hour stretch 2 nights ago. I was actually thinking he might start sleeping better.
Cue him waking at 0030, 3am and we've been up for the day since 4.

Sugargliderwombat · 16/06/2023 05:57

Yep my 8mo loves to pinch my skin. I, too feel ragey sometimes when he does it. It bloody hurts!

Noodlepoodles21 · 16/06/2023 05:57

Hi everyone, it’ll get better. I know this is an annoying thing to say but cherish the cuddles as one day they’ll be teens and will want nothing to do with you. Easy to say and I remember the relentlessness of being woken repeatedly and feeding through the night. Rest when you can. And those awful 4/5am starts when you’ve barely slept! You’re all doing really well.

Potplant19 · 16/06/2023 06:04

Ah thank you for this, I have a pinchy, shrieky 8 month old who I love very much but have also been feeling the real rage with, especially when something as necessary as sleep feels so out of my control. Good to hear it being talked about - sometimes I feel awful for feeling angry about it all.

Rainbowrocket234 · 16/06/2023 06:15

This sounds rubbish OP. I’ve got a 5 and a half month old so I feel your pain, it’s hard work at times! Mine doesn’t go down at night, doesn’t think she needs to sleep.
Definitely worth a try with paracetamol, ibuprofen, teething gels etc before bed as possibly teething? People will say it can’t be as they’re so young but my DD has four teeth already so we’ve had a month of really poor sleep because of it.
We find white noise, very dark room with black out blind and a fan, to cool room as it’s so hot, helpful. Failing that, we co-sleep following NHS guidance (a sin on here I know!).
Good luck, you’re really not alone. Some nights you win, some nights you lose. Thank god they’re so cute and cuddly.

Rainbowrocket234 · 16/06/2023 06:18

Oh yeah, and forgot to say, some babies are just shit sleepers! It’s hard when you’ve got one though and everyone else seems to have a good sleeper!

Alwaystired2023 · 16/06/2023 06:27

It gets better !!

Hazelnuttella · 16/06/2023 06:31

It got unbelievably better for me when I did sleep training at 6 months. My advice to my former self in your situation would be to read Dr Ferber’s book, count down the days till 6 months and enjoy sleeping again.

I was very anti-sleep training until I had no other option, and it was the best decision I ever made. DS is 2 now and still goes to sleep within seconds.

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