To be absolutely raging at my 5mo

[Lammveg]

My DD is 5mo and is waking up hourly and has been for the last week or so. She's fed, clean, is lovely in the day time, super happy etc. Won't settle without boob, but also pinches my skin and bites my nipple when feeding overnight. Refuses bottles and dummies. I'm raging (somewhat light hearted...but also not really). I'm so tired. Tell me it gets better!!?

Glad there are more of us! Yes I’ve adjusted to it mostly…hoping one day she’ll do 5 hours and blow my mind 😁
NCT is a double edged sword isn’t it? So helpful for ‘oh my baby does that too!’ moments but a nightmare for ‘why isnt my baby doing that too’??

I honestly could have written this post word for word! All I keep hearing about IRL is other 12 weeks old who are sleeping for longer stretches! But my baby is waking up constantly! And the 3/4am wake up is a killer! 😴

Oh also, we did gentle sleep training from about 8 months and it worked really well. Google Ferber method - we did a variation on this. Some nights it was too much for little DS and I just kept him with me. But in general it worked really well and then worked again at 16 or so months when the night wakes for unnecessary milk became too much.

Haven’t RTFT but it might be time for solids….

Thank you, you’re absolutely right that they’re all different - as long as she’s sleeping and is happy/healthy that’s that matters, but it’s so tempting to compare them to others. Im a FTM so it’s all new to me!

SIL and BIL swore by Wonder Weeks. They found it really helpful to know when the regressions were likely and why eg because DN was going through a period of growth so was ratty but also finding it hard to sleep.

I didn’t use it myself and our regressions didn’t time with when they said they would anyway, but they and friends of theirs thought it was brilliant.

OP my DS sounds exactly the same! Although he was a better sleeper before the four month regression and used to do 8 hour stretches. He has such a strong grip and is so pinchy and scratchy. I'm sorry to say he is now 8 months and still wakes every 1.5-2 hours. When the four month regression started he was doing 3-4 hour stints and I thought that was bad but it's gradually got worse and worse! Like you, I feel ok in the morning but it mustn't be healthy having no more than two hours consecutive sleep for months on end. He is also such a happy chap in the day. DS associates breast with sleep so I am gradually trying to stop the feeding to sleep by unlatching him before he drifts off.
I hope yours improves quicker than ours has! I really think the feeding to sleep is the issue. He's the only way he knows at the moment.

This made SUCH a difference to us too.

DD woke every 45-60 minutes at night from 2-12 months. It was horrible, I can see why it's a torture,. exhaustion and anger yes, surreal exhaustion. Might not feel like it now, but it does pass and you will survive it.

My DD was like that around that age, I put it down to the sleep cycles changing and her just needing more assistance (the dreaded sleep regression). It was soooo tough.
Ds is 5 months and has the odd night where he wakes hourly with no reason why. It's so hard.

I'll echo what the other PP have said. It really does get better. My DD is now 15 months old and sleeps from 7pm until 5:30/6am with just the very rare wake up through the night.

I remember when she was a baby I never thought it would end. It's relentless 😆

Now gearing myself up for those sleepless nights again as we're due our second in 6 weeks! Yikes 🤣

Maybe a growth spurt and your milk supply will catch up in a day or two. When mine bit I took her off.

I feel the same and my baby is 15 months. His sleep never improved 😢

Probably growing quickly and trying to get your milk going.

Go with this. My kids never slept like other kids. Be kind to yourself. Don’t fight it but just go with your baby’s schedule. It will get better. Teething and breastfeeding will be fine. A few times of no and taking the breast away sorts it out. Your baby will quickly understand that biting means no milk. You are doing the best possible.

It's weird because in the morning when she's smiling up at me from the crib I don't even feel that tired or angry but in the middle of the night when being repeatedly woken up I have to take a few deep breaths before tending to her.
Everything seems worse in the middle of the night. Everything. I would have a meltdown over things in the night that wouldn’t even make me blink through the day. Just keep doing those breaths.

Sleep progression isn’t linear and you’ll find you’ll have good times and bad times. Mine is 22 months now but we have weeks when she wakes between 11pm-1am hysterical and won’t settle unless we bring her into bed and even then she wakes a lot or isn’t settled and will wake early. Then now we’re in a good period where she’s actually sleeping all the way through till 7am.

it’ll get better. I thought it never would but it does.

Sending lots of sympathy . It will get better but is really hard isn't it. I remember my DS at that age was the same and I thought I would never sleep again but I did. Hope you get some sleep soon.

Oh, yes – the night rage and anxiety. It’s awful. The biting in the night makes me cry; in the day it’s tolerable with a simple “no” and putting him down. (He learns but does it again with each new tooth!)

Your body wants to be asleep at 3am which is why the wake-ups are so awful, especially if they land in the middle of your own sleep cycle so you’re interrupted. In the morning your body clock and the light and circadian rhythms make you want to be awake, even if you had a sum total of two hours sleep spread out in 20 small
increments.

Night weaning (5m is too young anyway, but for the future) doesn’t necessarily make them sleep better but it made ME sleep better – they settled for their dad in the night better, we could do shifts, I slept more deeply because I didn’t have that breastfeeding “light sleep attuned to every murmur” thing going on, I wasn’t having to dehydrate myself to feed, etc. I never did get the hang of feeding lying down and my babies never figured out how to latch themselves on while I slept through it: I had to properly wake up to get them back to sleep. Awful. Once that part is over and they can climb into bed with you and settle with a cuddle (or starfish out and thrash around all night with their wiggly feet in your ear…) it’s much easier, even if they’re still dreadful sleepers.

It gets better and it's almost certainly nothing you have done/can do. It is dreadful when they don't sleep because even if they do, you're waiting for them to wake.

I had 3 who I treated pretty much the same. All fully breastfed, bath routine the same, etc:

#1 slept 12 hours a night from 6 week. 8:30pm-8:30am normally
#2 didn't sleep more than 2 hours a time until she was 20 months (when the doctor gave her the lovely, but unfortunately not licenced for children anymore, medised). Then she slept about 8-10 hours after a couple of doses of that. Somehow it seemed to trip her into being able to sleep after dosing her for only 2 nights. She didn't really get to sleep until 10pm until she was nearly school age, dropped daytime naps at 22 months, and naps were never longer than 40 minutes either.
#3 I used to have to really struggle to keep away after 5pm, but would put him down at 7pm and, as long as he didn't have an ear infection, would sleep 10-12 hours.

There was nothing I didn't try with #2, and certainly I treated her in the same way as #1; she just didn't sleep.

They're now teens/young adults and #1 and #2 happily doze in bed until lunch time or beyond. #3 still thinks of 9am as a huge lie in, but thankfully he doesn't disturb us!

FOUR MONTH SLEEP REGRESSION.

It is normal and expected at this age.

You can decide live with it or you can decide to do something about it. Both are fine.

This is what we did: suffered for 6 weeks. I barely remember anything that happened in that time, I was so exhausted. Talked to the HV, made a sleep training plan. The plan was no boob more often that every 3h during the night. Time it and write it down because we we were too tired to remember. In the 3h gaps, DH would lie next to the baby and sooth her. Hand on her back, pat and shush. A small muslin with satin edges for self soothing. DH would be there but NO BOOB. Took 2 nights of crying and then we were all back to normal sleep with feeds every 3h, then every 6h. Saved the sanity of the whole family.

I just wanted to pop on and tell you all you're amazing! You're doing a fantastic job at keeping your babies loved, fed, clean and safe. I had a really tough time with my dd but I promise you, it gets so much easier! Hang in there! 💐

It's too hot I wouldn't bother with sleeping bag just a sheet over the cot, vests and nappies. A fan also helps and good blackout blinds. They're also thirstier so will feed more.

I'm not ready (and she's not ready) for weaning yet and I'm not comfortable having her in her own room yet either. Also feel she's too little for sleep training, and is something I'd prefer to avoid but can see how it might be something I end up considering (a gentle version anyway). I've tried to settle her by rocking/shushing/patting but she just wants boob and its the path of least resistance and settles her the quickest. I want her to have what she wants and needs at this age but that doesn't mean it's not hard.

My mom told me I slept through from 6 weeks...on further probing she actually just put me to bed at 7pm in my own room and let me just cry until she got me up at 7am as she 'wanted her evenings back' lol

DD's lovely and cheery as usual this morning so I know the broken nights aren't affecting her!

Also re the sleep IG accounts - Lyndsey hookway is another one that's saved my sanity.

That’s lovely said. Adding in that they’ll be many of use here all wishing you well. Remembering the tough times and wondering how I made it through - coffee I think helped.

Well there is your answer OP. Good luck and I hope you get to have some rest today.