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AIBU?

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Original poster

School withholding food as punishment

296 replies

catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:25

DS is due to start high school in September.

I’ve just seen a highly alarming thread about the school in a local Facebook group.

Massive disclaimer : Obviously people can write any sort of garbage on social media and it may well not be true and I will of course be speaking to the school at the earliest opportunity to gain clarity before taking any action but enough people have confirmed the allegations to make me a bit worried.

The issues raised are

  1. Toilets are now pretty much all gender neutral. I can deal with that - I know enough about the law to be confident I. Challenging and ensuring sufficient single sex provision is in place so whilst I’ll be challenging if true I’m confident in my ability to do that.
  2. Kids are getting a detention for being one minute late. I can live with that. Late is late. Important lesson.
  3. Classrooms are 29 degrees (new building has thermometers in each classroom) and kids cannot have water during class or in the playground at breaks. Seems a bit mad. Willing to listen to the rationale and alternative arrangements if this is true.
  4. This is the big one for me…kids are routinely being denied lunch as a punishment for bad behaviour. I am totally fine with appropriate sanctions for bad behaviour. E.g. mess about in the lunch queue eat lunch in isolation or miss break. But actually not he allowed to have lunch? To be denied food? Surely that’s illegal? I would have thought this was nonsense but at least 10 people have commented that their child has been denied lunch. No other arrangements or food just no food. So breakfast at home and nothing to eat all day. Surely this cannot be legal?

as said before I’ll check with the school about the truth of this and points one to three I can deal with but if point four is true and good is being withheld as a punishment…what would you do? There’s a transition evening coming up where I will have chance to ask questions and I’m gong to email the school asking for their response to these comments but surely a school can’t deny a child the opportunity it y to eat as a punishment?

Even googling I can’t find any incidences of this. It seems barbaric. AIBU or is this a thing?

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 15/06/2023 16:30

I would check school policy very VERY closely the only time I recall a child not getting lunch was when he went a bit mad and attacked another student because he "looked like a weirdo" the other student was blindsided he wasn't even looking at him he just raged over and started pounding 😳 he missed lunch his parents were called to remove him

Maddy70 · 15/06/2023 16:32

That will not be true. ... They may be denied hot food as they have a detention and a sandwich would have been given in the classroom

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 15/06/2023 16:34

4 - I'd be very surprised if this is true. They may have been asked to eat elsewhere but can't see how the school would get away with this.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:34

See denied hot food and given a sandwich in a detention sounds fine. But at least ten people have now said their child was told no food at all as a punishment and left it go hungry all day.

it surely can’t be true I’m just a bit worried by the amount of people saying it is. Perhaps they are being told things that are not true by their kids. It can’t be true.

OP posts:
L3ThirtySeven · 15/06/2023 16:35

Not the kind of school I’d send my DC to, that’s for sure. It’s run more draconian than a military post.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:36

I’m on holiday and I’m now frantically looking at how to get him into the other state school instead or working out the best way to sell a kidney and send him to one of the private schools.

and then telling myself that it must be social media clap trap and cannot possibly be true. I’ll be sending them an email asking for absolute clarity as soon as we get home and I’m sure it will turn out to be bollocks but ..

OP posts:
PuffinsRocks · 15/06/2023 16:37

I thought it was illegal to withhold water as well so they're clearly not doing what they should.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:39

I’ll check that @PuffinsRocks even at primary school they have a water bottle accessible at all times. Surely that’s a basic need. I can get maybe no water in class but not at breaks. They need to be hydrated and fed surely

OP posts:
Febreezefantastic · 15/06/2023 16:39

I'd be a lot more concerned about

kids cannot have water in the playground at breaks

Surely that's literally what breaks are for? That's mad!

PuttingDownRoots · 15/06/2023 16:40

Not allowed to buy food or not allowed to eat food? I know at DDs school you can't buy food if you are more than £5 overdrawn for example.

Sunnydaysareuponus · 15/06/2023 16:40

Ds was routinely left in isolation for up to 6 hours with no drink and an unsuitable sandwich..
Think ham when vegetarian.. We took him out.
Ime secondary school is ran like a youth offender's unit of the school is a Trust school... The Engage In Learning system is abusive...

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:41

Maybe they can go into the canteen for water? But surely that will discourage them from being properly hydrated if they don’t want to break off a game? Madness if true. Will be an interesting induction evening if any of this turns out to have any truth in it. Followed by complaints to Ofsted, DFE and a few calls to the papers.

but I’m still hoping it’s bollocks

OP posts:
Regholdsworthswaterbed · 15/06/2023 16:41

If any of this is true I wouldn't entertain this school for my children

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:41

@PuttingDownRoots nit allows to buy i think from the posts..so if no packed lunch then no food.

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:42

@Regholdsworthswaterbed no I won’t be either if any of it is true

OP posts:
Febreezefantastic · 15/06/2023 16:42

kids are routinely being denied lunch as a punishment for bad behaviour.

I'd be ok if it was my own kids, they are hardly starving, but I can't see how that would be acceptable for vulnerable children. The only chance some have to eat a semi decent meal is school.

On that basis, I would try to get more information. Again, the water is unacceptable. No water in the classroom is fine, but on the playground? ridiculous.

Doingmybest12 · 15/06/2023 16:43

This all sounds odd. Presumably you thought about which school and applied where you were happy and transition days will take place but whilst on holiday you've taken note of social media and now looking for another school as a result . I would wait and speak to his current school and take a bit more of a calm approach to this.

Doingmybest12 · 15/06/2023 16:45

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Zarataralara · 15/06/2023 16:45

Not allowed water? That is mad. Do they want sick, dehydrated students?

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:45

@Sunnydaysareuponus your poor DC that sounds awful

and yes for the other posters as said in my OP I will be getting clarity before going off the deep end. Just wanted to check I wasn’t going mad and this wasn’t Norma (if even true)

OP posts:
Luxell934 · 15/06/2023 16:45

Wow you honestly believe a school in 2023 would punish students by withholding food? Are you actually serious??????? It would be a human rights disaster, newspapers would have a field day, the head would be sacked, complete PR shambles. As someone who works in schools for years this did not happen the way the person made it out to be!!!

Why do people believe such bull about schools with no evidence. Complete nonsense, don't let yourself get sucked into this OP.

saveforthat · 15/06/2023 16:46

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/06/2023 16:46
  1. How to get around Mum when you've been a dickhead at school and got into trouble - Mummy! Mummy! The bad lady kept me a prisoner in an oven and said I was going to miss the food that I never eat because I'm too busy being a dickhead around the site when others are getting their food and then I whine 'BUT I'VE NOT HAD LUNCH' and she didn't fall for it. So now I'm telling you that your pawr ickle fragile baby could have literally died of starvation in the hope you'll forget all about my picking on a disabled kid by soaking them with water and saying he'd wet himself.
  2. Oh, and that's why we aren't allowed water in the playground - but can in the dinner hall we don't want to go to or have brought to us when we're being kept in along with the food we're claiming we weren't allowed. The fucking fights that always end up with the vulnerable children being injured and what computer equipment that hasn't been smashed up or worn out being doused in water.
TizerorFizz · 15/06/2023 16:47

@catgirl1976 You need to look at the behaviour policy which will include the sanctions they can give. I’ve never heard of withholding lunch. Why would you ever consider such a school? Surely you looked at all this before choosing it? You are comfortable with a great deal more than I would be. Sounds a horrible place to me .

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 15/06/2023 16:47

I’m not allowing myself to get sucked in. I’ve been quite clear I’m assuming it’s bollocks but also that the amount of people saying it’s true has given me a concern however I’ll be having a normal grown up conversation with the school to check their policies before ringing the daily mail and doing a massive sad face photo with DS

OP posts: