Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be p****d off that dh is going on a 'boys' weekend

31 replies

Katie3677 · 21/02/2008 20:53

I kind of know that I am but am more peed off that it was supposed to be a Saturday night camping trip, and has now turned into a leave home early on Saturday and not be back until late Sunday night trip. All to go and be all male and build shelters, kill rabbits etc in the mountains.
Just angry that our family weekend has been hijacked by his mates for something that I just cannot see the point in.

OP posts:
moondog · 21/02/2008 20:54

I'd rather a bloke was out being make than slobbing on the sofa.

Can't you have a w/end away too some time?

cat64 · 21/02/2008 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RubySlippers · 21/02/2008 20:59

YABU

why can't he spend some time with his friends - just because you can't see the point doesn't invalidate it

WallOfSilence · 21/02/2008 21:02

YABU I bet he doesn't 'see the point' in you going on mn, or having your hair done, or reading mags etc...

let him alone....

Hey Katie's dh..... go & have a great time! Bond with the lads, drink beer, and then come home and show the little woman who's da man!!!!

dilbertina · 21/02/2008 21:08

ahh come on YABU. Get a grip and organise a weekend away or something for yourself in a bit. I think it's healthy for couples to do their own thing on occasion. Let him enjoy it with your blessing.....and in a little while do YOUR own thing too. Go on, rather than being pissed off plan something...even just an evening out with girlfriends/family etc...concert? comedy show? pampering day? I bet DH would love for you to do this in return for him being able to do his thing with your blessing.

ladette · 21/02/2008 21:25

Sorry Katie, YABU. No matter how happily married we are, we all still need to be people in our own right, doing things we like to do with other people we enjoy being with. That doesn't always include our DPs and DCs. You will have a happier DH as a result and you will have a big stockpile of brownie points to use for your own entertainment. I've had some fab weekends away with girlfriends and DH has been nothing but supportive.
Is there anything else behind your reaction to this? HOw old are your DCs? Are you worried about coping on your own? Worried about what your DH might be up to? Share your worries and we'll help you address them.

Original poster
Katie3677 · 21/02/2008 21:31

oh bollox, I know, I know I'm being unreasonable, but needed to vent. Still pissed off though

OP posts:
ladette · 21/02/2008 21:39

I'm sorry this is pissing you off and I can kind of understand it, esp if you DCs are very small and demanding. What's annoying you off the most?

ladette · 21/02/2008 21:40

"annoying you off"??? one G&T too many tonight!

WallOfSilence · 21/02/2008 21:41

'annoying you off'

that's in the same league as my sister's 'the penny clicked' ROFL

hertsnessex · 21/02/2008 21:43

my dh goes away tomorrow morning for a stag do - that was meant to be 1 poss 2 nights........now its leave at 11am friday, home at 7pm sunday............hmmmmm.........but he doesnt do it at all, deserves the break and i have got lots of nice things planned.

xxxxx

Original poster
Katie3677 · 21/02/2008 21:46

Truthfully, I think he's dreading it but would never admit that to me. I have a feeling that me being 'annoyed off' is me trying to give him an excuse to get out of it. But then I don't want to be seen as the nagging wife...just can't help it sometimes though.

OP posts:
JossStick · 21/02/2008 21:48

Why do men people feel the need to kill small wild furries to feel great?

ladette · 21/02/2008 21:48

(Wallofsilence: it started out as "pissing you off", replaced "p'ing" with "annoying" and forgot about the "off". Hey ho.)

Back to Katie... what's your plan for that weekend then?

OrmIrian · 21/02/2008 21:48

Yes yabu. Sorry. Unless you are prepared to never have a weekend away either.

And when it comes to nagging, never do it! Simply assert the facts...repeatedly

WallOfSilence · 21/02/2008 21:50

Dh had a weekend away once.

So therefore so did I!!

Except had had go karting & paintballing.

I had drinking & crawling

he came home full of stories of fun... I came home needing to be booked into a drying out clinic.

ladette · 21/02/2008 21:50

OrmIrian: I just can't wait to tell my DH/teenage DS that I am not nagging, simply "asserting the facts.... repeatedly". Classic.

Original poster
Katie3677 · 21/02/2008 21:57

Wish I could go out and get rat arsed to be honest but with a 3 year old DS and no decent babysitters, and all friends booked up about 3 months in advance for anything social, I would be a prety sad case doing it on my own.
I don't really feel the need to go away and do things tbh, would much rather spend a nice w/e with dh and ds doing fun stuff for all or us - makes me sound like a martyr, which I'm not, but different strokes i guess

OP posts:
dilbertina · 21/02/2008 22:46

katie, can dh not look after ds for a night? or an evening? I know when dd (pfb!) was little I found it relly difficult to "let go"...but really sounds like you need to.
(now ds is here too.....have no problem in escaping for an evening!)

So, book a girls night out in 3 months time if that's what works - am sure they'll love it too!

To start with we did a "leave all dhs in one house with all children - they can't all be crap..." and we went out for meal, they played poker and stuff but managed to keep all children in one piece! Don't mean to be condescending to any lurking men around....!

Assuming huge amounts here, apologies, but IMHO you need to let dh be your parenting partner for all your sakes in the long run and that includes looking after his child alone for a few hours and you getting to let your hair down!

dilbertina · 21/02/2008 22:50

sorry, just re-read your last post....I adore spending w/e with my whole family BUT I feel I enjoy it even more if I very occasionally do my own thing too.

Maybe it's worth trying it before you get increasingly annoyed off at DH for doing it!

scottishmummy · 21/02/2008 23:01

whats the problem with your boyfriend spending some time with his friends?its the male equivalent of Sex & City boxed set, too much wine, girly movies etc. he is an adult with autonomous choices, you cant expect to always be influential in what he does. he is an adult, cut him a bit of slack. Enjoy when your time comes for a girly night with mates (most likely something that he just cannot see the point in)

expatinscotland · 21/02/2008 23:04

at least he's not going on a stag weekend in Prague, or to Amsterdam, strip joints, brothels, etc. like any of the umpteen threads about weekends away we've had on here.

Quattrocento · 21/02/2008 23:05

YABU

You know you can have a pass out to go for a pampering weekend in return now

Or maybe a weekend in NYC. Or Prague or Barcelona

madamez · 21/02/2008 23:17

It's not healthy to insist a partner never has a minute away from The Family. Everyone needs a certain amount of time for purely selfish indulgence. However, if your DH gets lots of weekends away with mates and you never get any free time, then you need to negotiate some.

choosyfloosy · 21/02/2008 23:24

Sorry Katie, I'm afraid I'm with the majority here. I wouldn't blame you for feeling a bit got at! Can be miserable thinking about these things in advance though.

If your friends have to be booked up 3 months in advance - well, book 'em - weekend in May sounds better option than February tbh! All the more time to look forward to it. What would you really like to do? Hang out for dinner at somebody's house? Trip to London for theatre, clubbing, dragon boat trials.... trip to the seaside... dh and ds away while you hang out at home with your friends... I've really enjoyed 36 hours in London, or a weekend walking all by myself (not everyone's cup of tea I know). Hope you can think of something and send him away with a smile.