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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Alfie Steele

313 replies

Ffswhatsthepoint · 13/06/2023 23:20

I checked there was no other thread before I posted this one. Alfie, 9, killed by mum and her bf. Drowned. A catalogue of abuse and many phone calls to police/ss by neighbours. The neighbours often fed him too. We HAVE to find people accountable in this case. It was reported. People knew. Nothing was done. Absolutely nothing. Its harrowing. I feel like I failed him. And I'm hundreds of miles away.

OP posts:
Gymrabbit · 13/06/2023 23:23

Absolutely. And social workers will bleat that lessons will be learned just like they’ve done every time including as far back as Victoria Climbie.
but no one will lose their jobs…

Original poster
Ffswhatsthepoint · 13/06/2023 23:26

It's heartbreaking. But more than that. Its evil, wicked and just utterly beyond what 'society' should accept. Yet it happens over and over.

OP posts:
MotherIand · 13/06/2023 23:27

Unfathomable how it happens again and again, with all the warning signs. Poor poor little boy. :(

OytheBumbler · 13/06/2023 23:30

Horrendous reading - so many 999 calls about a 'child in distress'.
Why wasn't more done?

Original poster
Ffswhatsthepoint · 13/06/2023 23:34

OytheBumbler · 13/06/2023 23:30

Horrendous reading - so many 999 calls about a 'child in distress'.
Why wasn't more done?

It's not good enough anymore, not that it ever was, to just give platitudes. This child, and many others, suffer terribly. And in many cases it is known about. This one most definitely was. And he was still murdered. Cold bloody murdered. How can we ever justify that?!

OP posts:
UpaladderwatchingTV · 13/06/2023 23:40

We were talking about this this evening, as a PP said, it's always 'lessons will be learned' and yet they never are. It seems there are more and more cases of child murder by parents every year. Maybe it's time they started giving prison sentences to social workers, or those who were made aware what was happening, but failed to act, as well as the perpetrators, it would actually make a difference? It just seems that these people never actually take responsibility for failing these poor children, it's an absolute disgrace.

clpsmum · 13/06/2023 23:42

I genuinely for life of me cannot understand for a second how the social workers can just do nothing

clpsmum · 13/06/2023 23:43

I agree with pps lessons are never learned

Original poster
Ffswhatsthepoint · 13/06/2023 23:44

UpaladderwatchingTV · 13/06/2023 23:40

We were talking about this this evening, as a PP said, it's always 'lessons will be learned' and yet they never are. It seems there are more and more cases of child murder by parents every year. Maybe it's time they started giving prison sentences to social workers, or those who were made aware what was happening, but failed to act, as well as the perpetrators, it would actually make a difference? It just seems that these people never actually take responsibility for failing these poor children, it's an absolute disgrace.

I totally agree. How do they just carry on doing their job when this has happened?! Teachers, neighbours, friends...literally everyone reported this child. What the hell is the excuse?! I know being a police office, social worker etc is difficult...very. But I couldn't sleep knowing a child had died because of my inaction. It would eat me alive.

OP posts:
LifeIsPainHighness · 13/06/2023 23:45

I feel like I am getting really sick of reading about Serious Case Reviews. NOTHING is ever learned by local authorities, the persistent ignoring of problems and claims that nothing can be done - when does it stop? How many more dead children?

LifeIsPainHighness · 13/06/2023 23:47

Gymrabbit · 13/06/2023 23:23

Absolutely. And social workers will bleat that lessons will be learned just like they’ve done every time including as far back as Victoria Climbie.
but no one will lose their jobs…

Yes I feel like Victoria Climibie should have happened ONCE tops (not that I mean it should have happened of course but it’s a mistake that should only be made once) but I feel like I’m reading about these cases several times a year.

Original poster
Ffswhatsthepoint · 13/06/2023 23:47

LifeIsPainHighness · 13/06/2023 23:45

I feel like I am getting really sick of reading about Serious Case Reviews. NOTHING is ever learned by local authorities, the persistent ignoring of problems and claims that nothing can be done - when does it stop? How many more dead children?

Agree. It never gets any better. Something needs to change....very fast!

OP posts:
Tigofigo · 13/06/2023 23:48

Is the problem that SS is understaffed / overworked / there's pressure to keep children with their parents?

Rather than SS just being incompetent?

And if the yare incompetent maybe we need to ask why. Who'd become a social worker these days, with the caseloads and underwhelming pay?

LifeIsPainHighness · 13/06/2023 23:50

Someone will be along to tell us ‘social workers are damned if they do and damned if they don’t’.

LifeIsPainHighness · 13/06/2023 23:51

Tigofigo · 13/06/2023 23:48

Is the problem that SS is understaffed / overworked / there's pressure to keep children with their parents?

Rather than SS just being incompetent?

And if the yare incompetent maybe we need to ask why. Who'd become a social worker these days, with the caseloads and underwhelming pay?

People will say SWs are overworked and tired but I’ve worked with many and never met a competent one. I’m surprised half of them could simple maths let alone assess the risk a child is in.

Original poster
Ffswhatsthepoint · 13/06/2023 23:51

Tigofigo · 13/06/2023 23:48

Is the problem that SS is understaffed / overworked / there's pressure to keep children with their parents?

Rather than SS just being incompetent?

And if the yare incompetent maybe we need to ask why. Who'd become a social worker these days, with the caseloads and underwhelming pay?

In some cases....it could be argued this MIGHT be the case. But...there is video and audio evidence of Alfie being abused. And literally everyone knew. It was given to the police and ss. What excuse can there be now!!

OP posts:
weareallout · 13/06/2023 23:51

This really shocked me as this child was 9 - not a toddler who can't speak up. Reported a number of times.
Are SS so understaffed there's no help left.

Greenshake · 13/06/2023 23:52

@Tigofigo I agree. Suggesting sending Social Workers to prison is a ludicrous idea. I lay money the people making these suggestions have never worked in that sort of environment, where there just aren’t enough hours in the week and it’s impossible to get on top of it whatever you do.

TinyPurpleFishes · 13/06/2023 23:53

LifeIsPainHighness · 13/06/2023 23:51

People will say SWs are overworked and tired but I’ve worked with many and never met a competent one. I’m surprised half of them could simple maths let alone assess the risk a child is in.

Show quote history

I feel awful saying this but… same. It’s worrying.

Devonshiregal · 13/06/2023 23:56

Not trying to be annoying but cases like this happen day in and day out. Like literally all the time. It isn’t just the odd case that you read about in the news. There are people who read case files on this kind of shit all the time for their job.

don’t know why I’m telling you this, guess it’s just important we realise it isn’t just one offs that social services missed; there are so many kids being neglected and actively abused that some DO end up being killed. It’s grotesque.

how do we stop that? I don’t know.

Greenshake · 13/06/2023 23:58

@Devonshiregal we could start by investing more money into social services, as well as making it a more attractive job prospect in the first place.

Original poster
Ffswhatsthepoint · 14/06/2023 00:00

Devonshiregal · 13/06/2023 23:56

Not trying to be annoying but cases like this happen day in and day out. Like literally all the time. It isn’t just the odd case that you read about in the news. There are people who read case files on this kind of shit all the time for their job.

don’t know why I’m telling you this, guess it’s just important we realise it isn’t just one offs that social services missed; there are so many kids being neglected and actively abused that some DO end up being killed. It’s grotesque.

how do we stop that? I don’t know.

And that's literally the worst thing I've ever read. It's still NO excuse. Not ever. He was alive. He had a life. Neighbours, teachers, friends reported the abuse he suffered. He deserved someone to listen.

OP posts:
LifeIsPainHighness · 14/06/2023 00:00

Ffswhatsthepoint · 13/06/2023 23:51

In some cases....it could be argued this MIGHT be the case. But...there is video and audio evidence of Alfie being abused. And literally everyone knew. It was given to the police and ss. What excuse can there be now!!

Show quote history

SS missed TEN opportunities to help Alfie - a mix of calls from neighbours and witnesses seeing him being abused in public.

How often do we say we must report if we suspect child abuser from a neighbour - but this make me think why even bloody bother

weareallout · 14/06/2023 00:01

All services have now been cut almost to non existence. I'm in a government Dept where there is 1/3 the workforce there was ten years ago & more work. Police, SS, CAMHS etc all in same position. Massive case loads that we can't ever clear. We can't get to all urgent work as too much of it. Non urgent just actually never gets sorted

GottaGirlcrush · 14/06/2023 00:02

The neighbours call to police was awful

You can tell by her voice that she knew this was it for Alfie