To use these heads as outdoor ornaments

[ItsCalledAConversation]

Feels wrong to me but MIL is convinced it’s ok and seems a bit affronted that we haven’t put them out yet.

For context DH and I are white British, so is MIL, no African heritage afaik in any part of our family, but MIL and FIL lived in an African country for a decade from late 1970s to 80s.

Last year MIL gave us two massive (18 inch high) solid granite/soapstone African male heads. They’re meant to be ornamental - if you like that sort of thing. Statues I suppose, if you imagine a marble bust, but a rough-hewn African version. She had them indoors either side of her dining room fireplace. She’s now given them (ie dumped them unceremoniously) at our house, having them out doesn’t seem right to me and I wouldn’t want to make money by selling them. I don’t know what to do with them really, so they’ve been in the garage.

Now she’s just been round and asked where they are. Why don’t we put them out in the garden as decorative sculptures, she says. They have a certain sentimental value to her and she doesn’t understand why we’re “being funny” about putting them out on display.

Im right, aren’t I? That as a white family this would be weird and wrong? Or am I being a weird woke snowflake and ungrateful gift recipient?

YABU - put the African heads out in the garden and grow plants around them, no big deal and MIL will be happy.
YANBU - this is batshit of MIL, and total colonialist bullshit.

Pic please

If she likes them that much she should have them back. I personally would not have these in my garden or house, the garage might get them instead before the dump.

just say you don't like them /the style not your cup of tea... she can tske em back or stick them on Facebook someone may like them...

They weigh an absolute ton

Not sure if photo upload works. Will try later if not

I think they’re totally wrong! Maybe I’m overthinking it?

I also wouldn't like to see them first before giving my opinion.

I think they are fine sculptures, if you don't like them personally tell her and she can find someone who appreciates them.

It's your house and your choice. I wouldn't want to be looking at something in my house I didn't like or agree with.

If they are in the garden (rather than front door), what is the problem with using them if you like them?

They’re objectively beautiful and interesting things.

I see no problem with it, if you like them.

If you like them and using them outdoors won't damage them, I don't see what the problem is. People of all races put Buddha statues in their gardens, and that's apparently not a problem. Same thing with statues inspired by ancient Greek sculptures.

If she likes them so much why has she dumped them on you . I think they are awful so I’d be giving them back .

Thing is, they meant something to her, but they mean naff all to you.

Give them back

If you don’t like them then have DH tell her that they just aren’t your style and she’s welcome to have them back if they mean something to her.

If you do like them, when acquired properly and displayed with respect for the people who made them and some understanding of their motifs and symbolism, displaying tribal art isn’t in itself problematic. Treating it inappropriately or reducing it to a gimmick is the insensitive part.

If you think they are beautiful then put them in your garden. No point I'm having them hidden away in a garage. You can always put them tucked away behind a tall plant.

I don't thing there is much of a colonial angle here if these date from the 1970s and were made for tourists.

Tourists buy this type of thing all the time so I don't think they're particularly problematic. If you don't like them give them back

I like them. I'd put them in my garden.

Are locally made busts only problematic when they come from Africa? If I bought one in Cyprus and brought it home, would anyone be thinking the same?

Being totally honest, if I went round to a friend’s house & they had these on display I would find it a bit uncomfortable. Colonial undertones perhaps or cultural appropriation? I’m not sure. Maybe I’m overthinking it too but that’s just what I would think!

If she likes then why has she foisted them on you?

I'll have them! I think they look lovely. We have loads of random ethnic sculptures and masks and statues in the house & garden. We're a white family, fairly well travelled and always being bits home from holidays. I don't see a problem having African art in your home just because you're not African?

Just out of interest, would you feel the same way if they had a Buddha statue in the garden? Or a Rajasthan mirror?

This is saying people can only own art from their own race? Bizarre. They're lovely.

I've been to Namibia and there are markets full of this kind of stuff. I only bought animal ones but there were plenty of human figures too.