To not want to go on holiday with DM

[samsswampy]

I will probably be told I am being unreasonable but I don’t feel as if I can cope with going on holiday with 89 year old DM. She has a lot of health conditions and has had quite a few falls but she wants to go on holiday with me and DD 15. She wants to go abroad and will pay for our holiday but I will need spending money for both of us which I would have trouble raising. My DD doesn’t want to go with her and I will be worried being in another country with someone who could become ill or have an accident. I am already going on holiday with 26 year old DD and would be happier if she came on the holiday with DM but DM doesn’t want her to come

I would take mine - with pleasure, even though it might be more her holiday than mine. And while I would never force myself on anyone I would secretly hope my DC would feel the same about me.

Why would you NOT? Barring abuse.

@Famzonhol no I wouldn’t want to inconvenience my own DDs, after seeing the way their GM behaves I’d hate to be a burden on them

She sounds a nightmare, but OP why aren’t you clear about saying No? Why are you giving it air time?

Just say ‘No, that won’t work. But this 3-day coach trip would be possible. Let me know when you have considered it.’

My DM has lived with us all for the last 16 years, my DF as well until last year so I think I’ve turned my DC off of looking after me when I’m old

Of course you’d hate to be a burden on your DC. Who wouldn’t?

Would you like if they didn’t see you as a burden but were happy to see you and spend time with you?

Is it your DM’s fault or your fault that you see her as a burden?

To echo others - will she even get affordable travel insurance???

Ok, well without that information it was difficult to answer your OP.

If the travel insurance is prohibitive then it might just be a non starter

If that is able to be by passed, maybe say (if you want to) - “I can’t afford even the spending money towards a second holiday. Dd15 doesn’t want to come because she didn’t steal that money from you, and you accused her. I’m willing to come with you on an all inclusive holiday, but we have to be clear Im doing this as a favour not the other way around”

And then see it as purely a favour

You didn't think the fact your mother lives with you and has done for some time was relevant to add right at the beginning? 🙄

Or something like this

Find out if she can get travel insurance to go abroad with her age and health conditions. Even if you did want to go, I think it is too much of a risk. Perhaps a short weekend break in a very nice hotel here?

@GulesMeansRed her living with us is nothing to do with going on holiday with us. While we are away she will be at home with my DH and 2DS so she won’t be alone

Excuse my hollow laugh at the medical centre on a cruise ... my experience of this is that the unwell guest is offloaded to the nearest hospital immediately and then has to use their insurance to get home. And it can take quite some time if the health condition isn't about to kill them, but needs medical attention before they can resume normal life.

Would you consider a day trip. 2 hours drive and 2 hrs back. Pay for parking and fuel. Pack sandwiches in a cooler box.

You can schedule one for July Aug Sep.

89 get some travel insurance quotes first

Can you guarantee ground floor accommodation or somewhere with a lift

UK would be easier if that is where you are based. The weather has been great, can you book a weekend away instead ? On Booking.com you can filter for ground floor accommodation