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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make my own wedding cake

60 replies

Coffeaddict · 12/06/2023 14:29

We are getting married next year and I said I was planning on making my own wedding cake and icing it the day before the wedding. My mum has said no way its a crazy plan so mumsnet help me decide

I have made a couple of wedding cakes before for friends so I am awarenof the amount of work involved.

YABU - buy it

YANBU - make the cake you want

OP posts:
Turfwars · 12/06/2023 15:40

Family made my wedding cake.
One person made the fruit cakes, another iced it and the third person did the decorative elements separately well ahead of time and then those got stuck on the evening before the wedding at the venue after it had been safely transported and in situ.

CMOTDibbler · 12/06/2023 15:46

I made my own wedding cake (three tiers) and a three tier for my friend when I was a bridesmaid. Mine I had paper flowers the same as my bouquet and the rest of the flowers, theirs fresh flowers. Much happier having my own GF cake!

childfreebychoice · 12/06/2023 15:48

For my wedding I made my own cupcake tower, with a fruitcake on the tip tier. I have zero regrets. If you want to make your own cake, go for it!

Original poster
Coffeaddict · 12/06/2023 15:48

I won't be at work the week before at its over Christmas and my work closes for Christmas so will have some more spare time.

OK I may give it a go but make it a few days in advance. I'm now leaning towards a fruit cake base, a chocolate biscuit cake middle both of which can be done in advance and then mabey a lemon drizzle top. I can do that one last.

Then I can get most of the decoration done in advance and if I run out of time on the drizzle my cousin can finish.

I was planning on using this year's Christmas cake as a dry run so will have a very elaborate Christmas indeed

OP posts:
ChristmasRoses · 12/06/2023 15:49

I made and decorated my own and I would do it again (hopefully I won't have to!). Two tiers, decorated with sugar roses that I made myself with my son's help

MooMooSharoo · 12/06/2023 15:58

The day before my wedding was spent getting things to the venue and quite a lot of errands to run. If you are certain you have the time to fit in what you want to do, I'd say go for it.

Do a test run beforehand so you know how long it's likely to take and do a trial run with having frozen the sponge beforehand (assuming it's sponge).

If you do go with any coloured icing of any sort, please wear gloves. My friend's mum didn't and had to spend her daughter's wedding hiding her hands in the photos as they were stained from the food dye!

Maybe speak with your florist about having some matching flowers for the cake, just make sure you wrap them stems in foil before you put them in the cake - the florist should be able to tell you if they'd suggest not using any flowers in particular. That way you don't have to do too much in terms of decorating - some pretty flowers and maybe a nice topper and it'll look lovely.

Newname47 · 12/06/2023 15:59

I also did mine. It wasn't that pretty as it turns out I'm better at baking cakes than transporting them but it tasted great 🤣

Dixiechickonhols · 12/06/2023 16:02

Christmas wedding means you won’t be stressing about transporting and setting up in heat.

Bananalanacake · 12/06/2023 16:03

I made mine but it was a very low key wedding, I did a banana loaf cake with ripe bananas DH was about to throw out. We had 2 guests and the reception was a Chinese takeaway in our living room. Depends on the amount of guests.

randomsabreuse · 12/06/2023 16:05

I did my own but not the night before. I had 3 tiers on a stand I bought from ebay with plain white icing and a ribbon around. Think there were some flowers, probably but I wasn't that focussed on it.

thecatsthecats · 12/06/2023 16:09

I made my sister's wedding cake and my own.

People who say it will be stressful aren't usually baking fans! They imagine how stressed THEY would be.

Icing my cake (which I planned to be super simple anyway) was a lovely calm moment on the day before the wedding.

gogohmm · 12/06/2023 16:16

What kind of cake? Traditional fruit cake is easy as you can make a way ahead, if sponge do think if you will have sufficient time?

VestaTilley · 12/06/2023 16:19

YANBU. I made mine - traditional style with tiers and everything.

It was A LOT of work and a lot of stress. Plan to ice or decorate 3-4 days before wedding then put it in air tight containers. This way you get a few days before the wedding to de-stress and do other bits of prep, or just relax.

Don’t plan to decorate the day before; it’s too stressful and if it goes wrong or you need other things from the shop it won’t leave you enough time.

VestaTilley · 12/06/2023 16:24

Just seen you’re coeliac - as am I.

Don’t make a large fruit cake gluten free, it might collapse and won’t have the structure to hold the weight/size.

Make the smallest tier GF for you then other tiers with gluten flour. Or do the whole thing GF but smaller and not fruit cake.

I wasn’t diagnosed when I got married, so mine (fruit cake) was made with wheat flour.

Cap89 · 12/06/2023 16:24

I made mine, it was incredibly stressful and I was working on it till like 9pm the night before. But it was 4 tiers with sugar flowers etc and I’d left it too last minute. But despite the stress I was so pleased I did it, it was such a sense of accomplishment. I’m now a professional wedding cake maker - this was a long time before my career change -and omg would I do it differently now! If you are covering in fondant you can absolutely have the cake done and basically finished a few days before. Don’t plan to work on it the day before your wedding, you should have that day to do last minute jobs and have a bit of a pamper. Best of luck with it!

Whatthatitwould · 12/06/2023 16:34

I bought three fruit cakes from a supplier and then marzipan and iced the cake myself. It seemed like a good way to save money. I did have just plain icing and then some very nice looking silk leaves with a few flowers. I was going to make the cakes but we relocated cities 12 weeks before the wedding and had to move and we both started new jobs.

londonmummy1966 · 12/06/2023 16:35

My best friend did a DIY cake although it was shortly after Christmas so she bought three different sized plain iced Christmas cakes reduced in Tesco on Boxing Day. She simply wrapped them with wide gauze ribbon tied ivy over that and put some roses on the top that matched her bouquet. Actually looked very pretty as she wound some ivy round the cake stands as well. Not sure I'd have used ivy but no one went down with food poisoning.

Pollywoddles · 12/06/2023 16:38

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 12/06/2023 15:33

@Pollywoddles
your DH is a very lucky man

Aww thank you 😂

RonObvious · 12/06/2023 16:43

I made mine - it wasn't a big deal, although ours was a very relaxed wedding. The main issue was transporting it to the venue (I assembled it at home, and no-one wanted to take the responsibility of moving it!). It's just a cake, at the end of the day. I think I had a fruit cake as the bottom tier, lemon drizzle middle layer, and gluten free / vegan chocolate cake for the top tier. It certainly didn't look professional, but I really liked it. And it tasted great!

newtb · 12/06/2023 16:56

I had a 2-tier traditional fruit cake that my dm made. She did the base coat of the icing, and then a local confectionner she knew did the decoration to a design we'd seen in Woman & Home.

GrunkleStan · 12/06/2023 17:00

I think that with a couple of days to go before your wedding, it's a stress yiu could do without.

A friend of mine did her own wedding flowers. Instead of having a relaxing time the night before her wedding, she was up until 1.00am doing the flowers.

RampantIvy · 12/06/2023 17:04

I made some vegan cakes for a recent wedding. They weren't traditional fruit cakes as most of the guests weren't fans of fruit cake. The cakes were in place of dessert and there wasn't much left by the end of the evening.

marylou25 · 12/06/2023 17:13

I'm surprised there is so much talk of fruit cake, I thought hardly anyone had a full fruit cake wedding cake anymore! Certainly not the trend where I am but there is the advantage of doing it ahead of time.

If you are having the reception in a hotel or wedding venue as opposed to marquee in your garden for example do check with them if they are ok with food being supplied from an unregistered/insured non business kitchen. These days with traceability rules etc many venues will look for certification. Nothing worse than rocking up with cake and discovering the venue won't serve it, it's happened!

Boogiebot · 12/06/2023 17:19

I made mine. 8 tiers it wasn't hugely elaborate though. Looked good and I enjoy making cakes as downtime. Only got stressed when the oven broke. All worked out in the end

Newname47 · 12/06/2023 17:25

Ooh, yes, leave time for a panicked shop run if it all goes wrong. 2 days before should be fine, there's always the doughnut stack option if all else fails.