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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

9 year old children’s party

31 replies

84wood · 12/06/2023 05:39

Apologies I’m posting here for traffic but I do need some birthday ideas.

My DD will turn 9 shortly. I’d like to throw an amazing birthday surprise that involves invites for the whole school year group so about 40-45 although I expect about 25-30 will come.

I’ve always hired a hall and a good entertainer but that is a bit young for 9 year olds. I’d like to do something that really amazes Dd and her friends.

We’re in Surrey and so near London. Any ideas? I’d be grateful.

OP posts:
RequiresUpdating · 12/06/2023 05:54

I’d like to do something that really amazes Dd and her friends.

This sounds like you want a party only to increase her social status. What does she want to do? Why the whole year group, is she really friends with all of them? Does everyone still have whole class (whole year?) parties at that age? What did the others do? Wouldn't. Day trip with e.g. 5 closest friends be more suitable?

cuckyplunt · 12/06/2023 05:56

Ask her what she wants to do. She may not want the whole class there. I can guarantee that at 9 she will have her own ideas.

Bournetilly · 12/06/2023 05:57

What does your daughter want to do?

Hesma · 12/06/2023 06:09

I’d let her choose who she wants to invite and what she wants to do. It may be something more grown up with fewer people.

justasmalltownmum · 12/06/2023 06:25

Go ape

olympicsrock · 12/06/2023 06:27

What does DD enjoy?

Windowcleaning · 12/06/2023 06:30

Ask DD what she wants to do.

Why does it need to be a surprise? She knows when her birthday is!

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 12/06/2023 06:37

DD turned 9 in May and specifically didn't want a full class party this year, they've all started breaking off into smaller groups in yr4, whereas previously everyone was friends with everyone. DD wanted to take a couple of friends adventure golfing and for lunch in a restaurant. They had a lovely time then I took them all back to our house for a few more hours of playing, chatting and eating junk.

MuggleMe · 12/06/2023 07:00

I don't know how many the science party people can cater for but that would be something different? I'm surprised she'd want to have the whole year there.

MuggleMe · 12/06/2023 07:01

When you say surprise do you mean secret invites because clearly you can't expect 45 kids not to mention it to her. If the activity/ entertainment is the surprise you might get disappointed children or kids not coming because they don't know if they'll enjoy it.

Gymmum82 · 12/06/2023 07:02

Dd was 9 this year and the favourite parties have been at ninja places, trampoline parks or go ape.
Sleepovers are also popular though you couldn’t have the whole class unless you’re insane.

Beamur · 12/06/2023 07:04

Disco, mocktails and pizza. Get a DJ

Singleandproud · 12/06/2023 07:06

As others have said it sounds like you want the party for other children not your DD.

You need to ask her what she wants, at 9 my DD had had enough of big parties and wanted to do something with her best friends so we did Clip+climb & trampoline warehouse combo then had nandos.

The year before we had a swimming pool party, the one before that a trampoline warehouse and then before that it was soft play parties all for the class. Other options for events in your area might be sledging on a dry slope, horse ride, Go Ape, Go karting.

mogtheexcellent · 12/06/2023 07:16

Dd is 9 this month. we are having 12 friends to an outdoor animal park place that does parties.
Tbf its all i could get at the last minute as left it too late. It dint cost ant more for 12 instead of 8 which is the amount of invitees dd originally asked for.

Last year we did cinema and year before a small themed party in the garden.

Havent had all class parties ince year 1. Covid happened ao not exactly sure when they would have naturally ended but its now definitely smaller gatherings.

londonrach · 12/06/2023 07:20

What your daughter like to do. My DD aged 6 and love that party but aged 9 I suspect she like a smaller thing with a few special friends.

inappropriateraspberry · 12/06/2023 07:24

I think she'd rather have a sleepover with a few friends than a whole school party. Or take her and a couple of friends out for the day.
If you really want a big party then I'd wouldn't have an entertainer. Music, food and maybe some craft activities or similar.
Honestly, I'd ask her what she wants to do.

Gunpowder · 12/06/2023 07:25

I feel like the only way a whole class party would work for that age group would be to have a disco (lots of companies do glow in the dark etc) which would be quite fun.

If you aren’t set on a whole class thing (rare post year 2 IME) then the parties my children have most enjoyed at that sort of age have been:

go ape
pizza party
trampolining
clay/art making party
paddle boarding
chocolate fondue and dancing at home

you could always ask her who her ten best friends are or if she had a hypothetical party who would she invite etc.

Sapphire387 · 12/06/2023 07:30

This sounds kind of wrong. More like you want to impress other people.

I think you should ask your DD.

Original poster
84wood · 12/06/2023 07:31

Thanks so much for the quick replies. My DD will play with everyone and had lots of friends but not best friends. It would be difficult to choose. I know the move is for treats out but we do a lot of those on the holidays. I will be letting her choose but I really wanted to give her options so I thought I’d ask the wise women on Mumsnet.

Thanks so much.

OP posts:
Fluffnutter · 12/06/2023 07:32

What about a swimming party?

BogRollBOGOF · 12/06/2023 07:34

Ds1's class did whole class yR fading to all the boys/ girls through y1/ 2 and fading to friendship clusters for more expensive activity parties by y3. Covid happened y4. DS2's class were following a similar pattern when they got cut off in y2.

Few 9yos would want the whole class at a party, and would make it clear if they did. They want their friendship group.

00100001 · 12/06/2023 07:36

Swimming party, especially if you can book an inflatable session with the pool.

High ropes/go ape. Look for local council owned high ropes, often far cheaper than Go Ape. However, could be very pricey with 20+ kids

Clip n climb is great for kids too.

Find a pump track and see if they have BMX parties or whatever?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/06/2023 07:39

Silent disco

Newnamenewname109870 · 12/06/2023 07:48

Roller disco?

SkankingWombat · 12/06/2023 07:53

I would ask what she wants to do. Throw out some suggestions if she's stuck for ideas. Then let her know how many people she can pick based on the party/activity.
If you want to go really big and blow some cash, I would be thinking about taking DD and 3 friends to a theme park for the day, but that level of spending isn't necessary IMO.

I agree with others that a chosen activity with a smaller group is both the norm and the preference for 9yos. DD had a sleepover with 3 friends for her 9th birthday, and went to the cinema then out to dinner with 5 friends for her 8th. The dinner in particular made them all feel very grown up (get them their own table with you on a separate but adjacent one). She has attended trampolining, climbing, indoor mini golf, and Ninja Warrior parties over the last year which each had 6-10 attendees.
On my DCs party wish list for future parties is tobogganing/snowboarding lesson, Go Ape, and indoor skydiving (not that they'll necessarily have these, it's just what they've spotted and would like to do!). Hall parties stopped at 5yo IME.