Sell up and move next to DB ?

[Highfivemum]

So been a hard year with a lady in my village. There was another thread on this. Who mistook me for someone else and made my life a misery. All died down know but it left me feeling awful. My DB who I adore and is my best friend came round today and said he was looking at moving as he too has had neighbour concerns ) noise business next door. )he has found a place that is an old farm type with two properties on one large site for sale and he asked would we consider moving alongside him. ? He knows how I struggled recently and is a great support. My DH thought this a great idea. They got in great and my DC would love it too as he has always been around for them but I spoke to a friend who said it is a recipe for disaster and we could end up hating each other so now I have the jitters. My DB and I are extremely close as due to family life we only have each other. The mere thought I would fall out leaves me feeling cold. AIBU to consider this. ? Has anyone else every done this and it was a success or wished they hadn’t ?

Are the 2 properties linked or totally separate?

Detached.

It sounds perfect although I would see whether there is any possibility of having separate access, there are too many threads on here about the problems of shared driveways. Even if you in effect share access with DB, having the ability to split and have a different family living next door needs to be considered.

I would hate to live next door to my brother <shudders> but in your case I wouldn't hesitate OP. Definitely get the legal/access stuff squared away (doesn't sound like you and DB will struggle to agree on what's fair) but don't let other people put doubt in your mind, your gut instinct was yes and that's what you should listen to.

Sorry to read his DW died.

If you get on with both him and his DP and your DH/DC do to it's definitely something that you should consider, opportunities to buy a property with this type of set up don't pop up to often.
Being able to choose your neighbours would have me running to the estate agents to get my place valued.

Sounds like a great opportunity fwiw I would happily like close to any of my DBs & DH would be happy with this, not sure any of us would live that close to DSis who we love dearly but is best in small doses.

Sorry, I meant do they come as a package or are they separate so can be bought by unrelated people/aren't financially linked?

Amazing opportunity!!! Grab it with both hands. If you communicate well between you there is no reason it should become a problem.

Thank you.
will call them in the morning

It is advertised as four separate packages. You can have one 4 bed house or one 2 bedroom house and or the extra land. Or you can buy the whole lot. We would want the lot as a whole of that makes sense.

That sounds much more straightforward as you can actually separate the two houses in terms of registering them. You would still need to consider ownership or and how to share the extra land (and have good legal advice on this). It does sound a great opportunity though!

I would love to live next to my brother. We're very close and I can't imagine there'd ever be a reason for us to fall out. It sounds like a great plan to me.

it sounds great. Get proper proper legal support on how to structure it all. You need to imagine that you have totally fallen out and make sure the setup works then (eg it’s clear what happens and how value is moved around if one wants to sell and the other doesn’t). Not because you will fall out, but because you never know who might end up “owning” his estate in some future scenario (eg debt collectors, someone who he leaves a legacy to, etc). Build your legal agreements strong enough to work even without you getting along.

then go for it and enjoy something that sounds absolutely lovely!

I'd move next to my brother in a heartbeat, we have lived together as (young) adults when studying and I taught him everything he knows about cooking and cleaning his house (his wife should really be kissing my feet, haha!). Unfortunately we live in different countries and I miss the close bond we had!

I would do something like that in a heartbeat. All families are different, and you would have to have a conversation in advance about expected boundaries, but if you're close- then that shouldn't be an issue.

It’s good that they are being sold, and can be bought, as separate legal / financial entities.

If you make an offer be sure that the EA and vendor thoroughly understand your circumstances. That you are buying separately but come as a package, so will want to Exchange contracts on the same day (otherwise one could be committed to buying while the sale is withdrawn / falls through for the other) and therefore the purchase is dependent on the sale of your two respective properties (if it is!).

That’s a great idea. Thx

You should also discuss the land and how that would work - you could easily set up a business to run from the property.

If you like the properties and could make them work then there’s no reason not to give it a go.

I think something that will make a come-back is pooling resources. We are all so stretched. Why not cut out some of the unnecessaries when you need to?

Two sets of our friends have done similar. One set moved into a very formal commune with lots of rules and nosiness and hated it. The others bought an old farmhouse with a converted outbuilding which went to the husband's sister.

The couple have young children who now have a devoted auntie around a lot of the time. They all got to buy something better than they hoped for and are very happy.

I would go for it.
Legally, I would try and draw something up as to who owns what - you never know what will happen in the future especially as we get older.

Sounds like a great idea. I would hate to live near my brother but it seems right for you.

There's always some bugger that'll throw a spanner in the works by giving their opinion 😁
I'd go for it, I'd live nextdoor to one of my sister's and trust me, we've had our moments over the years 🙄 we've certainly not had the relationships that you've had with your db but we're older and slightly milder now!
I remember your other thread and wondered what had happened.
You all sound sensible enough to make it work

It’s sounds like a winner.
just a minor caution, do either of you knowingly do anything…a bit left field? That the other might find difficult to handle, cause being so close makes it easy for those things to be out in the open.

Eg: When my DP lived at uni, his cousin lived in the same city. They ended up living next door but one in a tightly packed terrace st. At night, turns out, she was ‘incredibly vocal’ IYNWIM. She became a bit of a joke in the st and when I came to stay I would hear her too. It made family gatherings very difficult.
another eg, a friend of mine, moved next door to her uncle who turned out to be smoking a lot of weed In her garden. It really put her off him and they ended up having a huge disagreement

I think it sounds fantastic, I'd love a similar set up. As long as the houses are separate then you can see each other as much, or as little as you want. I'd sit down and discuss boundaries, such as you don't walk into each others houses without knocking, you have at least one weekend a month with your respective families alone etc

And of course the legal side of things need sorting, you need to be able to sell each property separately if needed in the future, can you buy as a lot so you don't get gazumoed on the other one.

My niece and nephew live next door to each other in detached houses. They get on great, their spouses and kids get on really well too. It must be at least twenty years now, never been a problem. It works really well for them all.